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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you take this neighbour to Court? *[Warning from MNHQ: thread describes dog attack, including graphic image]

121 replies

mydogisthebest · 26/04/2019 22:03

Me and DH moved house at the beginning of last year. Next door neighbour and his wife and children had moved in about 3 weeks before us.

He was very friendly from day 1 but was always wanting to borrow something - lawnmower, hedge cutter, hose pipe, screwdrivers, drill - loads of things. He also borrowed money twice - one time £50 and the other time £100 (he came to the back door at 10.30pm for the first loan and 7am for the second which annoyed me).

Anyway about 4 months after moving his dog got into our garden through a gap in the hedge. It's a thick hedge and there was a gap big enough for him to get into his side and then wriggle his way through to us. We have 2 dogs but they were indoors at the time. He had already told us his dog did not like other dogs so I called out to him and he came into our garden and got his dog. I showed him where the dog had got through and he said he would put something there so he didn't get through again.

About a month later our dogs were in the garden but up by the house. We have a fence round the patio with a gate so that if it is muddy we can keep them off the grass. Next door's dog came through (in the same place as before) and started barking and growling at our dogs. One of our dogs started barking back at him. As soon as he did so next door's dog flew at him and grabbed his face. Our dog was screaming and the other dog was just literally ripping at his face.

The neighbour came in and had to keep punching his dog in the head to get him off our dog. Our poor dog's face was ripped open one side and he was bleeding badly. The neighbour was so apologetic and kept saying he would pay for the vet and please would we not report his dog or tell anyone about it. He said he had not done anything to the hedge as he forgot!

Our dog needed over 100 stitches in his face from his mouth up to his ear. The vet bill was £500.

We were meant to be going to London for a long weekend 2 days after this happened but could not go as we could not put our dog with a sitter when he had to have painkillers and antibiotics every couple of hours. Also he can get a cone off within seconds so had to be watched 24/7.

We had paid out for an Airbnb, theatre tickets and tickets for the anniversary games at the Olympic Stadium - about £400 in total.

We told the neighbour we had lost the money but never expected him to pay it only the vet bill plus the £100 he still owed (this was over a month after he borrowed it). He kept saying he had no money and would have to pay weekly but just didn't. He paid £25 about a month after and then nothing. We didn't want to hassle too much - he has 2 young children and had just found out his wife was pregnant again (not planned) and they obviously don't have much money.

He then started getting stroppy saying we should have sorted the hedge so he was only going to pay half. He said he would pay £250 In October and then the remainder in November (the attack was in July). He paid the £250 but then nothing.

I must admit we didn't chase him partly because we felt sorry for them and also we didn't really want the unpleasantness when it was the next door neighbour. The thing that annoyed us the most was that he just didn't say anything else about it. If he had said they just could not afford it we would not have been so annoyed.

So we haven't spoken to them since October. We put a fence along our side of the hedge (over 100 foot long so cost a fair bit). Their dog still lunges at the hedge every time one of our dogs is in our garden snarling and barking which bothers me.

The last couple of weeks the guy has been a pain. He keeps moaning about us parking opposite his garden gates. He doesn't park in his garden and, even if he did, it is an ordinary width road and we park partly on the pavement so he can easily get in and out. If we don't park there other neighbours do.

Wednesday he started shouting about our car and said we were not to park there. There are no yellow lines and there is room for his 2 cars to park too so we couldn't see what his problem was.

We have had 2 large metal gates stored in his garden from about last June. He had more room for them than us and, at the time, was happy to store them.

To be honest we had forgotten about them. Anyway on Wednesday he said he wanted the gates moved the next day or he would get the scrap man to collect them. DH said he would move them but could not do so before the weekend. They are really heavy and need at least 2 people to move them and there was no one to help until the weekend. DH warned him that if he got rid of them we would take it further and also take him to Court to get the money back for the rest of the money owed to us

This afternoon a scrap guy came round and took the gates away on a truck. It looked like a tow truck with a hoist and that is how he lifted them.

I haven't told DH because I know he will be furious. Also I guess the neighbour got money for them and they were over 6ft high and very large and heavy so possibly a good amount.

I am so angry when I think how we helped him so many times plus we didn't report his dog or tell anyone when we could have told all the other neighbours.

I know when I tell DH he will want to take him to Court for the vet fees and, quite possibly the money we lost on our cancelled trip.

I do realise that we should not have left the gates in his garden for so long and he was entitled to want rid of them but to give us 1 day to move them and to probably make money from them when he owes us I think is disgusting.

Would you take him to Court and, if so, would you also claim the money lost on the cancelled trip?

OP posts:
stanski · 27/04/2019 00:19

I would go to court and I would do it via money claim online government site yourself. If you are going for up to £1000 it's just £60 cost to do. www.gov.uk/make-money-claim

LagunaBubbles · 27/04/2019 00:21

we had not lent him money he could not have got to work and would likely have lost his job

There's being "kind hearted" and then there's being you... I can't understand you at all, I'm kind I like to think but I wouldn't lend money to a neighbour.

Monkeyssplit · 27/04/2019 00:25

I wouldn't take him to court. Too much hassle and expense and ill feeling with a neighbour. I would just stay clear of him and report his dog.

MustShowDH · 27/04/2019 00:51

I'd be looking to move house. I couldn't live next to this drama. It would make me ill.

If that's not an option, just cut your losses and have nothing to do with them. Expensive lesson learned.

InceyWinceyette · 27/04/2019 01:09

“You are entitled to a free consultation with any solicitors in the country, go straight to them and pick a good one. It's free, the only thing it will cost you is your time.”

This is not true.

DizzyPhillips · 27/04/2019 01:15

Lol at the entitlement to a free consultation with a solicitor. Where do people get this nonsense from?!

I am a solicitor. We don’t work for new clients without an upfront payment.

Smotheroffive · 27/04/2019 01:20

I haven't RTFT but had to just say that I felt utterly sickened by this ddogs viscious attack and this owner begging you to basically cover his arse which you did!!

I am astounded and gobsmacked that his dog nearly ripped yours apart and could have killed it, yet you don't report the nasty fucker!

What does he have to do exactly.

Your ndn sounds like a highly abusive man, continually having DC he can't afford and thinking everyone should be bailing him out.

Take him straight to court, and get an order against him coming to your house begging for money at all hours.

He didn't have to keep the gates at all, you trusted him to store them for you for free. Big ask from a stranger. More here than meets the eye.

Smotheroffive · 27/04/2019 01:21

Dizzy you might not, others do.

Also, cab can arrange a free consult with one

Orangeballon · 27/04/2019 01:26

Put this down to experience and have nothing more to do with the neighbour, taking this to court will prove expensive and you may not recoup your losses. I would call the dog warden and report him for keeping a dangerous dog.

DizzyPhillips · 27/04/2019 01:31

Yes i am well aware that some do. This does not equate to an “entitlement”

Smotheroffive · 27/04/2019 01:45

Oh Grin no,absolutely not! I think I misread a bit there Blush

Smotheroffive · 27/04/2019 01:46

Small claims court fairly straightforward and if you show serious I don't think he's dare even show up, he'll probably take the opportunity to pay or avoid altogether and have to swollow an order.

julensaor · 27/04/2019 04:35

I don't know if a dog having a fight with another dog is a 'dangerous dog' though? If there was a gap in the hedge, I own a fairly mundane dog but we had issues with a neighbours dog that they were minding who is 3 times the size of mine; he didn't reach him but we both took it on together. If he got through the hedge, I would have taken care of that straightaway myself. Did you really think they would come though on it @mydogisthebest after owing you money?

mydogisthebest · 27/04/2019 08:23

Thank you for all the replies.

After a pretty sleepless night and feeling sick most of it I have decided that it is just not worth the hassle of taking him to Court. As I said, I really doubt he would pay if we won and then the only way we would get anything would be to instruct Bailiffs which would be more expensive and aggravation.

Up until the dog attack we had been friendly. We always chatted and he came into our house a few times chatting. He did help us out once when our car broke down and we saw him as a friend. We were happy to have what seemed like such a nice neighbour!

He paid the first loan back pretty quickly. It was really DH who lent it as he is even softer than me. The second loan I was a bit doubtful about but, again, DH was ok with it and we assumed he would pay that back quickly too.

The second loan was not long before the dog attack. I guess for a couple of weeks after the attack he was still friendly. He asked after our dog (more than his wife ever did) and still chatted. Then suddenly he started getting funny. I think possibly because they could not afford to pay but if he had come to talk to us and just honestly stated his position we would have listened and accepted even say £5 a week.

I am just furious that he is now being funny and nasty as though we are the ones in the wrong. I am also furious that he sold the gates and probably gained financially.

Lots of our neighbours are a similar age to him and his wife and have children similar ages so he is friendly with them all. They all seem to think he is such a nice guy (they don't particularly like his wife as she is pretty unfriendly). I feel like telling them all about him but I won't stoop that low.

We don't want to move. We only moved here last year and really like it. It is ideal in almost every way and I doubt we would find something similar without having to pay more which we don't want to do.

He rents so we have no idea how long he is likely to be there. We can avoid each other as the hedge between us is over 6ft tall and very thick. We can hear each other in the garden but not see each other.

I will think about reporting the dog attack but, as another poster said, I am not sure the police are very interested in dog on dog attacks. Certainly I know people whose dog was attacked by another and the police didn't want to know (it was a different area though).

If we do report the dog and action is taken he will, of course, get even nastier to us and I am not sure I could cope with that.

I guess we have learned our lesson but we both believe in being kind to others and DH, in particular, is very kind hearted always lending things to people. I always try to see the good in people but I am shocked and saddened by our neighbour's attitude.

If he had apologised and spoken to us we would have been friendly with him again (although not have lent any money again). I am just so angry but also so sad that someone we thought was a friend has acted in this way

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/04/2019 08:28

I don't understand the gate thing. What was the agreement there? You had them in his garden for nearly a year. Did he agree to store them for that long?

He's clearly in the wrong for everything else, but I'm not sure he is about the gates, he's clearly had enough of them being in his garden.

Dropitlikeitshot · 27/04/2019 08:50

I’d be calling the scrap man and asking what your neighbour financially gained from the illegal exchange of your goods. Then I’d be going over there and demanding the money back, or you’ll be calling the police.
The horrible waste of space.

mydogisthebest · 27/04/2019 09:32

We never had a proper agreement about the gates. He was happy for them to be in his garden. They were propped against the hedge so not in his way.

He was originally going to help DH sort our back garden out and put the gates on. We were intending to do it last summer but just couldn't. We have had a lot of problems with family and have had to spend quite a bit of time away from home. It's been, and still is, a very worrying time with some of my family and there have been more important things than gates to worry about to be honest

OP posts:
whyamievenamazeddotcom · 27/04/2019 09:36

I think you’ve made the right choice and steer clear you can never win against a narcissistic bully and it would be better not to have to declare a dispute when you decide to move. Meanwhile I’d put a very high fence all the way round the front if the property too (see as an investment) plus get a camera bell so you can ignore if he comes knocking. I’d also check that hedge for holes and plug them up fast ... good luck with this it sound very unpleasant and I really feel for you, your DH and dog xx

youknowmedontyou · 27/04/2019 09:37

TBH reading this you're doing this out of spite to recoup the money for the gates. The gates you "forgot" about and hadn't installed but wanted to keep in the neighbours garden?

He sold them because his got financial issues.

You didn't report the dog attack and If the dog attacks again and hurts another dog or child you will have that on your conscience.

You've all acted badly in my opinion.

notapizzaeater · 27/04/2019 09:50

You can't argue with irrational people.

I'd put cctv up and stay away from him.

FraggleRocking · 27/04/2019 09:51

You’re being really passive and making loads of assumptions.
Don’t not report that dog attack because you assume nothing will be done.
Don’t not pursue getting your money back because you assume you won’t.
Report the dog. Call the police or scrapyard and say you have the receipt for the gates and the neighbour had no right to sell them (not sure on this but worth a shot). If nothing comes of it, so be it, but at least you tried.

CallMeRachel · 27/04/2019 10:06

Report the gates as being stolen to the police and tell them you know which scrappy they've been sold to. With any luck they can be recovered. Scrap yards must record each sale.

Definitely report the dangerous dog next door. How awful for it to behave like that, it'll end up killing someone's pet if the kids leave the gate open or if it's out being walked. Dog warden at the council is your first point of contact.

Is their house rented? If so who is the landlord? Report dog attack and theft of the gates to them too.

They don't sound like a poor couple to me, poor lifestyle choices yes, dog and more kids they can't afford but that's not your problem. He thinks he's tapped into a soft touch.

Roussette · 27/04/2019 10:08

You said this..
If we had not lent him money he could not have got to work and would likely have lost his job
So you know for a fact him and his wife have no family and no friends they can borrow from? Why are you as a NDN responsible for him getting to work. You're not. I know you are saying you and your DH are kind hearted but some times you have to use judgement and common sense and not give money out at 10pm at night. Maybe I'm a cynic but if a NDN knocked on my door for money at 10pm my thoughts would be that they've borrowed from family and friends and not paid back hence having to ask me.

When things started going tits up you should have had a warning bell ringing and removed the gates because the relationship between you and your NDNs was rapidly going down hill.

Please don't take this the wrong way, because I am a similar age to you, but you remind me of my elderly parents (they're not around now but this was when they were in their 70s and 80s). They were fresh meat for every chancer around. Salesmen knocking at the door selling stuff spinning a sob story. Companies ringing, making appointments and them signing up and giving cheques to them. NDN who took them for money. A builder who did work for them for which they paid and then he hit hard times and came to my Dad, spun a story and took £££s from them. The list is endless.

Of course it's nice to be kind hearted, but you also have to be aware too.

DonkeyHohtay · 27/04/2019 10:12

You are entitled to a free consultation with any solicitors in the country

ha ha ha that's a good one. What a load of absolute NONSENSE. Solicitors, believe it or not, charge for their services. I know! Who'd have thought it! Hmm

As for the "take it to Judge Rinder" brigade, well yes, this is the sort of case his show covers. But you cannot force people to appear on telly if they don't want to. So you'd need the consent of the neighbour. There is no way on earth that I would consent to appear on that show. Real court you don't have the option of saying no.

Whether you go to court or not is your decision, it's a lot of hassle for less than £500 and will guarantee a poor relationship with your neighbour for ever.

Strugglingtodomybest · 27/04/2019 10:16

Leaving aside the rest, as far as my experience goes, the police won't do anything about the dog as it only attacked another dog. Dog fights happen, it doesn't equate that they will also attack humans.