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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at husband ?

113 replies

Whyohwhydo · 26/04/2019 15:57

Hi all!

Maybe i’m over-reacting but need to vent !

DH has away for 4 days for a Work trip and came home late last Night.
I was looking forward to a cosy family night tonight - we have 3 children , 2 under 5 and a teenager.

But no ... He is off to spend 3 hours at the cinema because he MUST see the new avengers film tonight.

So no time With the children , as he came home from Work and started doing Jobs, and i have to put 2 if them to bed so they Will be asleep when he gets home.

Wtf?!!

OP posts:

Planetian · 27/04/2019 00:13

Ooohhhh it’s “Endgame”!!! Grow the fuck up sad bastards.

slipperywhensparticus · 27/04/2019 00:14

I dont actually care about spoilers for big films they tend to follow a predictable pattern anyway 🤷‍♀️

Banwell32 · 27/04/2019 00:18

I tried to have a romantic night in with my oh put his favourite film on got snacks lit candles for him to come home from work to tell me he’s off to see the new film seeing all the effort I made and couldn’t see why I was so upset either

DizzyPhillips · 27/04/2019 00:24

MitziK I hope you’re alright xx

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/04/2019 00:28

"Do you really think i should let him take the children tomorrow ? Is that not a bit too dramatic?"

I don't think it's too dramatic, in some ways it's a bit petty but you sounded like you didn't really want to go to the inlaws anyway, so in that sense it's just you seizing an opportunity. But you need to look at these sorts of things in the context of the whole relationship. If you are doing it as a tit-for-tat in either the hope he will change his ways (highly unlikely) or as a sort of transaction-based "payment" for him going to the cinema last night then it's liable to worsen your marriage and your happiness within it. If you're doing as the first step in changing your attitude to living, such that you intend to be a bit more like him in doing what you want when you want and expecting him to put up and shut up, then that could be liberating. But you have to see changing your attitude to your family life as a step forward rather than pay back for his actions. And it may be a good thing - if things have been very uneven up until now it may well be that you and your family will benefit from you putting yourself first a bit more often and making them step up. But that's a complicated calculation to make and not one someone over the Internet could hazard much of a guess over.

BummyKnocker · 27/04/2019 01:17

He has a cock and therefore is one.

barbiegrl · 27/04/2019 06:36

@Geminijes I am in Cyprus and the film came out on the 24th here so it has been out longer in other countries :)

Meridz · 30/04/2019 04:31

Personally I don't feel its a big deal. Hes worked hard for 4 days, and has obviously been excited to see this new movie. Not everyone understands or likes movies the same way as others, but its something he gets enjoyment from.

I guess it depends on the context. Now if you had a conversation with him earlier about going to the movies, but had organised something that night with the kids and he just bailed and just went to the movies then yeah. Or if he didn't tell you at all and you were waiting for him, I would be annoyed.

Otherwise, its just 3 hours...and hes home that night. If it was me, I would be more annoyed that I also couldnt go to the movies! I would have perhaps had a baby sitter or someone watch the kids, and make it a cute date night. You're a family sure, but also a couple and individuals too.

MamaWeasel · 30/04/2019 04:56

I think he's a selfish pillock. It's a crock of fantasy shite.

I think you should take a significant portion of tomorrow for yourself. Enjoy! 😘

Meridz · 30/04/2019 05:48

Interesting some of the responses....insulting something he enjoys rather then perhaps trying to discuss it with him in a way where he can dedicate more time to the kids and still do things he enjoys.

The whole tit-for-tat attitude of "seeing as he did this, you should just take the rest of the day off tomorrow and see how he likes it" actually seems childish to me and would be unlikely to make the situation better. You are just both going off doing your own thing, building resentment and frustration until something gives.

If OP was so annoyed by this, then I think i indicates deeper discussions are needed between the couple to try and meet each others needs or reach a compromise.

GottenGottenGotten · 30/04/2019 09:11

I think she should have had the day after off, not for some tit for tat reason, but because she has had all the responsibility while he's been away, and deserves a break.

AvengersAssemble · 30/04/2019 11:27

The film came out on the day he returned, and he is a selfish twat for going roses it leaving his kids crying.

However as my username suggests, it is a great film!

flirtygirl · 30/04/2019 12:24

He should wait to see the film but I can understand why he felt he had to see it. If you are a fan then you've been waiting a year to end the story.

If he's not usually selfish then I'd let him know it was not okay but then I'd let it go.

If he is usually selfish then I'd have a massive talk with him as this would be the latest incidence in a long series and things would need to change.

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