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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect guests to bring toothpaste?

319 replies

peanacat · 25/04/2019 20:22

Please settle a debate, all the guests we have from dh side (family and friends it seems) never bring their own toothpaste to use when they visit. Never been an issue with my side of the family. (Geographical thing maybe?)

Me and dh share toothpaste but I find it weird that people don’t bring their own to use when they visit and we have to share ours with the guests?

I have no idea why it irritates me so much, but just seems weird and kinda germy Confused
Do you all take toothpaste when you go and stay somewhere?

OP posts:
Meandmetoo · 26/04/2019 09:05

Oh....this thread has cheered me right up.

I know a girl who got pregnant through sharing toothpaste. True story. Can't be too careful.

SerenDippitty · 26/04/2019 09:06

I’d never expect hosts to supply me with toiletries of any sort. I take my own wasbag. Even when staying in hotels I take my own stuff - I am picky about shampoo in particular. Neither would I expect guests at my house to use my stuff but obviously in an emergency I would let them.

SerenDippitty · 26/04/2019 09:08

We have one bathroom, no en-suite or guest bathroom. Shock horror. Even if we did I would not keep it supplied with toiletries.

Original poster
peanacat · 26/04/2019 09:11

Gotten totally gets where I’m coming from, it’s the fact that hotels don’t provide it I think that makes me think it weird that guests don’t take it. They provide everything else including lotion but not toothpaste, which everyone uses, therefore to me, that’s suggesting that people should take their own when they go somewhere.

There are people on here who have way stronger opinions than me though, I may have made this thread but I am actually pretty middle of the road in terms of how disgusted I am Grin

And as for BJs, yes I am fine with those (lol) but tend to only do that to dh, not houseguests Smile

OP posts:
GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 09:14

And as for BJs, yes I am fine with those (lol) but tend to only do that to dh, not houseguests

Shock Grin
IrmaFayLear · 26/04/2019 09:16

Not much surprises me any more - but this thread!!

Not just begrudging guests a squeeze of toothpaste, but in some cases your own family! Extraordinary.

And someone throwing away a tube of toothpaste because it had been open a couple of months. I guess this poster is not a member of Extinction Rebellion.

Original poster
peanacat · 26/04/2019 09:19

Irma a lot of people are saying this (don’t know where you got ‘open a couple of months’ from) but I actually said it had been open way over a year and just looked pretty gross tbf, that’s why I threw it away instead of expecting a guest to use it Hmm and even my dh agreed that it had looked pretty skanky when I chucked it

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2019 09:20

It's just another one of those threads that makes me grateful for my (toothpaste sharing) normal family and friends.

WokenUp · 26/04/2019 09:25

Here, here sparklingbrook. I thank the heavens that I don't turn up to my friends houses to stay and am greeted with a barren bathroom, I'd feel so unwelcome!

WokenUp · 26/04/2019 09:27

Ah and a lot of the hotels I stay at provide toothpaste in the room - in the dental kit. And if they don't you just have to call down to reception and 9/10 they will bring you some. Just the small ones, like the small shampoos and shower gels etc.

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2019 09:33

Are we really comparing staying at a friend's or relative's house overnight to staying at a hotel in terms of what is provided?
I don't see a connection.

Obviouspretzel · 26/04/2019 09:40

So weird. Some people are so unwelcoming, this is our sterile society today where people expect their own family not to use their toothpaste because it's disgusting, or their other toiletries because they are expensive.

I wouldn't expect anyone staying at my house to have to bring any kind of consumable.

Hobbesmanc · 26/04/2019 09:47

wow - everyday I am amazed at things I see on here. Its rebooted the way I think about things.

Seriously- surely when you pack your wash bag you pick up your toothbrush and toothpaste together? I wouldn't think of taking a brush without the paste? Plus I like the brand I use.

We have a guest bathroom and whilst there's lovely towels and soap in there, I wouldn't think of ever providing toothpaste or shampoo. And we have lots of guests. Never once been asked for it?

If I did forget I wouldn't have a problem asking for some though.

GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 09:52

You don't see a connection between staying over a night somewhere other than your own home and.. Umm... Staying over a night somewhere other than your own home? Okay then.

I think the people that don't take their own are projecting a bit.

I would not expect someone else to pay for my toiletries. It just hadnt occurred to me that other people would. That doesn't make me an unwelcoming host Grin It just means that it never occurred to me that people would expect it. And as I said, I wouldn't mind. Just not my deodorant. Not because it's expensive (which it is), but because I don't think I should have to teach someone how to use it (which I would have to) and because it takes time for it to be effective (which they probably wouldn't have).

BastianBux · 26/04/2019 09:57

Seriously- surely when you pack your wash bag you pick up your toothbrush and toothpaste together?

I use whatever is in MIL's or Nan's bathroom when I visit in terms of body wash, shampoo, conditioner etc. I use my Nan's hairbrush but not my MILs so take my own there. Own toothbrush razor sanpro. Not own toothpaste.

MoreCookiesPlease · 26/04/2019 09:58

This is such a shocking thread.

Whenever people have come to stay with me (and I host a lot as I live in central London,) I have always provided guests with everything they need to stay overnight. I give them two towels, the option of an extra pillow/duvet, free use of all of my toiletries and supplies in the bathroom - toothpaste included. I even have a whole set of spare (albeit cheap) toothbrushes in case they forgot to pack theirs. And this is for family or friends.

You're really tight-fisted if you begrudge guests requiring a small dollop of your toothoaste on their brushes. I'd never expect my guests to bring their own supplies of toiletries unless they preferred their own brand of a particular item.

Similarly, if I were staying with family or friends I wouldn't expect to take my own bottles of shampoo and shower gel, but then again, my family and friends enjoy hosting and are generous and hospitable people.

GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 10:03

Wow, such emotive language!

Let's turn it around. You are really tight-fisted if you turn up at someone's house and expect them to pay for all your personal needs.

Now I actually don't think that, but for some reason it's ok to say it the other way around when it's just something that wouldn't occur to someone that feels it's normal to always take their own toiletries.

I'm not sure why it seems to have morphed into thinking people are expected to take their own bedding and towels Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2019 10:04

Staying away from home in a hotel and staying away from home with friends and family are different.
Unless you ask for room service, your room cleaned daily and a morning newspaper at your friend's house. Shock
Maybe some of the people that don't provide toothpaste and have never been asked for it, it's because their guests felt uncomfortable and didn't like to.

Still not seeing any good reasons to withhold toothpaste provision TBH.

Damntheman · 26/04/2019 10:04

I take toothpaste with me when I travel, but on the other hand I also have a toothpaste tube in my guest bathroom (as well as shower stuff and extra towels) for people who come to visit. I am the epic double standard!

It's not germy to share toothpaste tubes though.

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2019 10:05

Have the Daily Mail picked this thread up yet? It's gold.
Or maybe Loose Women?

GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 10:08

I didn't say they were exactly the same, I said there's a connection. I'm astonished that you can't see that there is one.

And I also don't see anyone advocating people withholding toothpaste either. Do feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

PurpleCrowbar · 26/04/2019 10:08

I spent last summer bumming around SE Asia, & every hotel I stayed in left out 2 little packs containing a cheap toothbrush & mini tube of paste.

I nicked them all (am an incorrigible blagger of hotel toiletries Blush) & there's now a basket of them in each bathroom. Next to the stash of hotel shampoos & soaps Wink

Guests are welcome to them, although as far as I know mostly people bring their own, but they've also come in jolly handy for the dc to take for residentials, sleepovers etc.

I have to say I do generally pack toothpaste when I go away - I just throw it into my wash bag along with the brush. But for much of my life when I've found myself crashing at someone's house/having someone stay over it's been a spur of the moment post-pub thing or similar, so I've never been precious about sharing stuff like this, whether it's borrowing or lending.

I'd expect someone who regularly hosts to have a spare new toothbrush just in case someone forgets, but separate toothpaste, unless you have an unopened tube lying about, seems a bit extra!

Fluffyemenent · 26/04/2019 10:14

Dear lord how do people find the time to bother to even think about this! It’s TOOTHPASTE!!! The shit you discover on mums net never ceases to amaze me.

Original poster
peanacat · 26/04/2019 10:18

fluffy I’m currently on maternity leave awaiting baby, so I have nothing but time on my hands to ask this question atm Grin

Try me again in two weeks and I agree I will probably have bigger fish to fry!

OP posts:
GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 10:29

I am the Queen of procrastination. Mumsnet helps.

I'm sitting with stuff to do, but my way forward is unclear so I'm hitting Mumsnet with a vengeance!