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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m being taken for granted

186 replies

MangoBananaSleep · 24/04/2019 17:36

I’ve spent all day at my boyfriend’s house decorating. He came home from work at 3 and looked round. He said ‘yeah it’s all right’ and then asked what some tiny imperfections were. Basically, I’d cut one or two bits of wallpaper with tiny nicks in them.

I had brought lunch with me for us and when I showed him what I’d brought, he said ‘isn’t that a bit fancy for lunch?’ It was tomato pasta and a slice of garlic bread.

He then proceeded to stand over me and when it came to cutting the wallpaper, he took it off me and then made a huge mess of it.

He can’t see why I’m upset. Tell me I’m not being unreasonable! 😭

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 27/04/2019 11:19

He sounds awful.

Why didn't he make you lunch?
Was he planning on buying you dinner as a thank you for your work?

Original poster
MangoBananaSleep · 27/04/2019 13:21

No, he doesn’t have keys to my home. I have been very careful not to share anything with him.

He definitely thinks he will get the job over me. He keeps slipping up and talking about when he has the job. Hmm

I’m going to give my absolute all to getting this job. If I don’t get it, I will look to leave I think.

He didn’t make me lunch because he is a bit selfish.

Thanks again

OP posts:
Motoko · 27/04/2019 13:41

I have been very careful not to share anything with him.

Now, if he was a keeper, you wouldn't feel this necessary. So why bother carrying on, when you know this is not a good relationship?

ittooshallpass · 28/04/2019 04:05

Tell him you have a great eye for detail too. And he isn't up to standard!

Go and enjoy your holiday. When you get back tell him it's over and fingers crossed you get the job!

CoraPirbright · 28/04/2019 12:53

You’re careful not to share things with him......he is selfish.....he’s tight as a tick and wont cough up for professionals to do the work but is rude and picks holes when you do it for him...........he is horrible about the potential job situation......

Forgive me but I can’t see why on earth you are with this prick? Confused.

Motoko · 28/04/2019 15:28

@MangoBananaSleep how are things? Have you given him the boot yet?

Illy603 · 28/04/2019 15:36

I’d have thrown the “fancy lunch” at the wallpaper and told him to do it himself.

Good luck with the job, rooting for you to get it 🙌🏼☺️

PregnantSea · 28/04/2019 16:36

Bill him for the decorating and then dump him

justilou1 · 28/04/2019 16:39

God I hope you get this job!!!

GarthFunkel · 28/04/2019 16:40

I'd dump him before you get the job. Otherwise he's going to think it's because of the job, when it's the mortgage, the decorating and the job. Or God forbid he gets the job and then you dump him, he'll think it's because you couldn't stand him getting the job - when it's simply because now he's an arse with your job. Because you are going to dump him at some point, aren't you?

SunshineCake · 28/04/2019 16:58

Don't settle for such a shit relationship

justilou1 · 30/04/2019 00:27

When do you think you will find out about the job?

PillowTalker · 30/04/2019 02:20

Time for a new BF

Original poster
MangoBananaSleep · 30/04/2019 05:56

I’m not sure when I will hear. The shortlisting is happening soon. Then interviews at some point in late May I think. However they keep changing the proposed date!

OP posts:
justilou1 · 30/04/2019 06:03

Good grief! Talk about leaving you dangling!!!

Wallywobbles · 30/04/2019 06:16

Have you considered applying elsewhere at the same time?

mummmy2017 · 30/04/2019 06:25

Got my fingers and legs crossed that you get the job...
I'd say no to helping him too...

Orangeballon · 30/04/2019 06:31

He has shown himself in his true colours?!

Original poster
MangoBananaSleep · 30/04/2019 06:35

I have considered applying elsewhere. However, I work in a very niche area and there aren’t that many jobs.

This is the first opportunity for progression in 6 years.

OP posts:
IggyAce · 30/04/2019 06:37

Dump him and enjoy your holiday.

EL2019 · 30/04/2019 06:38

Yes he’s an arse. Don’t do any more for him.

And slightly off-topic, but who puts patterned wallpaper up to sell a house? Buyers want a blank canvas to put their own stamp on, not someone else’s taste in wallpaper.

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/04/2019 06:40

As Maya Angelou said, 'when a person shows you who they truly are, believe them'....

MaybeitsMaybelline · 30/04/2019 06:45

Ahhh yes, the employee who is applying for a managers job but doesn’t like managing people and thinks he will get the job with ten year old management experience.

Seriously love, you sound such a great person and he is constantly trying to destroy your confidence and demoralise you. I am amazed that you work for the same company yet are using your leave and time off to decorate his house for free whilst he goes to work and saves his time off.

He needs to go. Bugger waiting to see who gets the job.

CoraPirbright · 30/04/2019 08:49

I agree with GarthFunkel - dump the prick now otherwise he will think its all to do with the job and not the fact that he is an arse hole.

Original poster
MangoBananaSleep · 09/05/2019 17:17

So, slight update. I’m just back from holiday today. He has today been invited for an interview - I haven’t. Hopefully, my invitation will come through soon.

I won’t lie, I’ll be gutted if I don’t even get an interview. I worked really hard on that application and I know for a fact he largely competed his in an afternoon.

OP posts:
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