To think I’m being taken for granted

[MangoBananaSleep]

I’ve spent all day at my boyfriend’s house decorating. He came home from work at 3 and looked round. He said ‘yeah it’s all right’ and then asked what some tiny imperfections were. Basically, I’d cut one or two bits of wallpaper with tiny nicks in them.

I had brought lunch with me for us and when I showed him what I’d brought, he said ‘isn’t that a bit fancy for lunch?’ It was tomato pasta and a slice of garlic bread.

He then proceeded to stand over me and when it came to cutting the wallpaper, he took it off me and then made a huge mess of it.

He can’t see why I’m upset. Tell me I’m not being unreasonable! 😭

No, he didn’t even act pleased. It was just like he felt entitled to me doing this work.

I was looking forward to him coming home and being really pleased at how much nicer the place looked and my bubble was well and truly burst!

Cheap labour! My decorator is charging £135 a day!

Have realised that you are the poster whose boyfriend behaved very badly about you potentially applying for the same job.

This is just further evidence that he doesn’t value or respect you.

If you're the same poster who's boyfriend was awful about applying for the same job then this is a red flag - you deserve better than someone who doesn't respect you and who attacks your self confidence. He doesn't have anything nice to say to you and seems to want to be controlling and for you to be questioning yourself all the time. Please LTB, he sounds absolutely awful.

Don't go back today, tell him you obviously can't reach the standards he requires and so he should hire a professional decorator. Then put your feet up.

Well if his eye for detail is so acute he can undoubtedly do a much better job himself, so I'd leave him to it
He doesn't sound like a keeper...

If he wants a professional job he can go and pay a pro. Ungrateful shit.

What an arsehole

What a twat. Wash your hands or the whole house. Don't even entertain a conversation about it all.
And I would be looking at the whole relationship.

I think Sindragosan is right.

"He's pissed off you won't subsidise the lifestyle he wants by getting a mortgage together and doing all his cleaning and laundry. Now you've ruined his grand plans he's trying to get as much out of you before he breaks it off."

You said you feel he only asked you to live with him to get a mortgage - what reason did you give him for refusing his splendid offer?

He sounds a charming wanker. Don't return to finish it let him get on with it.

Oh love, bin him off, don't give him the satisfaction of treating you so meanly.

I would be upset too. You put in all the work to help him out and all he could do was criticise. What an ungrateful shit.

That’s great news! What was his reaction?

He’s being a prick. And you say in another post that you think he only asked you to move in so he can get a mortgage. That’s also not great..

He called round today and apologised profusely. His brother came over last night and told him he was out of order.

My application form is in for the job! Fingers crossed.

Good luck for the job, OP.

What's the plan with him? Will you leave?

Was it a genuine apology or a tactic to get you to finish the decorating?

Thanks for wishing me luck! I’m not sure if it was a ploy to get me to finish the decorating. If it was it hasn’t worked, as he is going to have to finish the thing off himself - I’m off to Tenerife next week so he’ll have a long wait for me to decorate.

I don’t know what the plan is. Certainly I think I will maintain the status quo until I see what is happening with the job. After that I’m not sure.

Glad he apologised op however I'd still be upset that it took his brother to tell him he's an arse. He didn't listen to you and he didn't feel bad of his own accord.
It's good you're off on holiday. Take the time to reflect and see what you want from a relationship. Good luck!

Is his brother single? sounds like a better bloke!

Definitely! Tell him to do his own decorating and buy his own lunch if it's all not good enough.

He doesn’t appreciate you. Any decent stranger would be grateful and show it, and this meant to be the man who cares for you and loves you? Get rid, you seriously deserve better and won’t find it if you stay with this piece of work.

Why maintain the status quo of being unappreciated?

Have fun in Tenerife and I’d never normally say this, but have a blast and go out on the pull (but use appropriate protection).

I am glad that the rude prick apologised but he sounds awful. Even if you had made a total balls-up of the wall papering he still should have been grateful. And who on earth thinks that pasta and garlic bread is “fancy” ??

Have a lovely time on holiday and I would take that week to seriously review this relationship. Adding in the other job issue, I really dont think he’s a keeper. Take care

No, we aren’t moving in together. He asked me but I said no because I think he only asked me because he was struggling for a mortgage.
Well DONE OP! I'm glad to see such sense being applied in a relationship.

When I pointed out that he hadn’t said one nice word about my work, he told me that he thought we would discuss it when I was finished. Didn’t stop him from pointing out the faults though did it?
So he thought he'd give you a performance appraisal? Does he think he already has the management job you both applied for?

I’m off to Tenerife next week so he’ll have a long wait for me to decorate.
Does he have keys to your home OP? I'm thinking he might make himself comfortable in your absence and/or try and find your job application and prep...

Have fun in Tenerife. I hope you come back mentally and physically recharged and come to a great decision about taking your life back from him. He really doesn't sound like a keeper. ☀️😎