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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

559 replies

scarbados · 24/04/2019 13:14

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

OP posts:
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Babooshkar · 24/04/2019 14:44

I would actually pretend not to be in when they arrive and stay that way until they get the idea.

MissLadyM · 24/04/2019 14:44

Cheeky sods! They've been 6 times! I would tell them that it's time they made their own arrangements. They're treating you like a free b&b!

loveonthewall · 24/04/2019 14:50

Let the cat lick the bread

Roussette · 24/04/2019 14:50

They're treating you like a free b&b!

It is a free B&B, no more no less!

CoraPirbright · 24/04/2019 14:51

If I wanted special breakfast stuff I would bring it with me!! They are insufferably rude but you are a bit of a mug to allow them to stay again!!

I would tell them to turn their fucking car around and not bother coming. Either that or reply “ummm do you just want to re-read what you have written and think about how it has come across? You are coming for a free stay at a friends house, not coming to a B&B”

rainbowstardrops · 24/04/2019 14:52

No way!!! So they've taken the piss before as well!!!!!
OP, may I suggest that you decline their pleas to stay with you in future?! Grin

karala · 24/04/2019 14:52

I would cancel -

Onthebrink87 · 24/04/2019 14:54

I don't have a throw but i will make time to pop put and grab one, I'll add it to your bill with the bread and jam.
When cf gets confused...
Ah! I beg your pardon you are right! This isn't a hotel, please refrain from treating me like staff!

Atalune · 24/04/2019 14:56

Cancel them. Life’s too short.

S1naidSucks · 24/04/2019 14:57

You do realise they’re laughing at you, don’t you, OP? That pos ex workmate thinks you’re so desperate to keep her friendship that you’ll do anything to keep her in your life. Why would you let that asshole treat your husband and you like that?

MummyofTw0 · 24/04/2019 14:59

This is hilarious
They're proper cf

thelastgoldeneagle · 24/04/2019 15:01

'You seem to have mistaken me for a hotel, instead of a friend who is doing you a HUGE favour by hosting you for several days and feeding you. Here's my bill.'

Genevieva · 24/04/2019 15:05

Just cancel. Honestly, people like this aren't worth it.

noodlenosefraggle · 24/04/2019 15:07

Why are you letting them treat you like dirt? Have some self v respect and say they are not welcome, now or ever again. Are you that desperate for friends?

Grumpelstilskin · 24/04/2019 15:09

Are you seriously letting these CFs come and stay after this kind of message? I would uninvite them and tell them to go to a hotel. No way would I put up with that!

Jaxhog · 24/04/2019 15:09

YANBU! You've become a free hotel for people who claim to be your 'friends'. No true friend would do this (except in jest).

Reply and tell them they are welcome to stay in a nearby hotel and give them a list. They aren't true friends, so it will be no loss.

ijustcannotdoit · 24/04/2019 15:11

Good job OP

whotheactualFisthisHfella · 24/04/2019 15:12

Absolute joke this pair of CFs!!! I would have to cancel them. How can you bear to have them in your home after those absurd requests?! I wouldn't be able to look at them! I would lose it if they rocked up and then started making further CF requests - which is bound to happen.... Cancel them (but make sure you do it really last minute when it is most inconvenient for them and they have to turn round and go all the way home)!

diddl · 24/04/2019 15:14

Why haven't you told them that you can't/won't accommodate their demands so they've no need to bother coming to yours?

UterusUterusGhali · 24/04/2019 15:20
Shock
1Wildheartsease · 24/04/2019 15:21

Are you getting anything from this 'friendship'?
I assume that there is a reason you have hosted them so often.

If not... you should re-think this. It is your place and you don't have to justify having it by giving out free holidays.

ClaireElizabethBeuchampFraser · 24/04/2019 15:22

This is dreadful! The complete lack of manners and the fact they have used you like this 6 times before, makes me think that you need to work on healthier boundaries!

She is not a friend! She is not even an acquaintance! She is someone who has discovered she can get what she wants from you because you are too polite to tell her otherwise! This is a form of bullying! She is treating you and your husband like paid staff, or ‘the help’ shall we say! Her sense of self entitlement is ridiculous, as is his! Do you know, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has told her partner that she is paying for these trips to your home! But that’s only because I really am shocked that they both have such a sense of entitlement!

I would be inclined to pull them up on their behaviour and I would not be inviting them back!

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/04/2019 15:24

They’re clearly cfs. The usual response to a cat is to give them a stroke and encourage them to sit on your knee. Who cares about a few hairs.

Mitzimaybe · 24/04/2019 15:28

I definitely like the "I've told the cat not to shed any hairs on the sofa but he says he can't promise."

Ooh these are such CFs I want to know how this turns out.

Please tell us you've sent a sarcastic reply?

FriarTuck · 24/04/2019 15:30

'The cat hair shouldn't be too much of a problem but must warn you not to leave any clothes around as DCat has taken to spraying on anything that doesn't smell of us. Luckily we think (well, hope!) we've stopped him crapping in visitors' shoes now - the vet said it's all a territorial thing and he's just asserting his claim over the house. Best if you give your shoes a quick shake before you put your feet in them though. Pets!'

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