To be (secretly) disappointed with bedroom furniture

[BillywigSting]

I quite possibly am and willing to be told I need to wind my neck in a bit.

Bit of background. We are moving house, and ds(5) needed new bedroom furniture. He is currently sleeping in his toddler bed (which is suitable up to five years but he's quite small for his age, still this seemed an appropriate time to get him a new bed etc).

He also needed a wardrobe, draws etc as the draws he currently have are not great and his old bedroom had a built in wardrobe (we think it might have been a boiler cupboard previously but it worked fine)

Now his toddler bed (that was also his cot) is beautiful. It's solid wood, with winnie the pooh and piglet (he still likes winnie the pooh, though that's not really the point) carved into the headboard. It is good quality, smells lovely and has lasted really well. It still looks brand new.

I was looking at new beds with ds so he had a bit of a say in it a while ago, and both of us were leaning towards wooden bed frames again. I think him because it's familiar and a similar look to the bed he has slept in all his life, me because I think wood looks lovely.

Here is the aibu. Mil has kindly offered to buy ds's bedroom furniture (recently received an inheritance, as did dp which is why we can afford to move at all, she got significantly more than dp, a few thousand more). Both I and dp said that was lovely and showed her the sort of thing we were looking at (mostly varnished pine cabin beds).

Every single suggestion put back to us by her has been horrible cheap looking white mdf. All a very similar price to what we have been showing her.

In the end she has ended up buying ugly cheap white mdf everything (wardrobe, bed but no mattress, chest of draws and bedside draws). It has come out that she thinks 'a little boy should have white furniture because I (mil) think it looks better'

Dp says don't look a gift horse in the mouth and to some extent I agree. But she has form for overstepping boundaries and blatantly ignoring my wishes when ds was very little.

And honestly it's awful quality, rickety and ugly and I can see it looking very shoddy very quickly.

We have done our best to make everything else in our new house reasonably good quality (floors etc) and this just feels like a huge fuck you dil, and sticks out like a sore thumb.

I am aware I am probably being a bit daft and emotional because moving is stressful enough and this move has been particularly bad, with having to get builders in and them doing an appalling job.

This horrible, ugly, not-at-all what we would have picked furniture that is the same price bracket as what we looking for furniture that mil has picked just feels like a kick in the teeth.

Aibu to be secretly disappointed and a bit upset? I haven't said anything to her (I have told dp that I was not keen on white, and told mil while she was looking that I would much rather have wood) so as to keep the peace and not seem ungrateful.

I am grateful for the offer but it feels very much like she is trying to impose her wants and tastes on our house by choosing a style none of us really like.

[BillywigSting]

That is parcel tape on the back. The wardrobe door is not straight

[BillywigSting]

It does smell pretty bad like

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

You can’t live your life worrying about a controlling person causing ructions though.

Seriously, if your DH has mummy’s boy tendencies, then he needs to learn to be more bothered about pissing off you than her. Your house is your house. Other people don’t get to say what goes in it.

[TatianaLarina]

Apart from anything else, they don’t look safe for a 5 year old who may clamber on the furniture.

I climbed on all my bedroom furniture.

[Lllot5]

Oh dear it’s not great is it? I wouldn’t look after it. Just save like mad for what you want and replace it.
Don’t know what else to say.

[Alb1]

I’d be annoyed too to be honest. It looks fine tho, and if your husband has put the door on wonkey then it’s likely he’d have managed that with the furniture you wanted too. Hopefully once everything has settled from the move you won’t even notice it anymore, when it’s filled with his toys and things it will look lovely anyway.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

It looks a bit cheap. It’s not naice. It’s not horrendous though.

[MrsMozartMkII]

As a PP said, definitely attach it all to the walls.

It doesn't look like it's going to survive any great period.

[Babuchak]

You are stuck with it by the sound of it, but you will get used to it. You are too focused on your idea. I would hate someone to impose their taste in my house, so I would be fuming too, don't get me wrong.

If it's that flimsy, it won't last. Have a few playdates, ideally have a dinner party with half a dozen kids playing upstairs when you are with the adults downstairs, and that should fix the problem.

Start saving for a new wardrobe - if it's that small, you will need a bigger one soon.

Your MIL is just rude, it's your house, your taste. I can't stand pine furniture, but I wouldn't dream of imposing my choices in someone else's house.
That money has just been wasted, but you can also think of it as a cheap couple of years, before you upgrade the furniture to a proper desk, a high sleeper and so on. The ones you have are temporary between toddler bed and adult bed!

[Mintypea5]

It just doesn't look like kids furniture. You can get some really lovely door handles on Etsy. I got some to make my sons chest of drawers suit the nursery more (it was an old white Ikea one we had in our bedroom)

I'd also suggest looking on Etsy or eBay for some lovely vinyl stickers to decorate them a bit. It can be done really tastefully and look amazing! Have a nose on Instagram at kids bedroom / decor posts

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I wouldn’t encourage your kid to batter it though. You can’t say, “ Yeah kick the shit out of this stuff but treat the next lot with kid gloves”. It doesn’t work like that. Kids get into habits.

[goingonabearhunt1]

I'd probably just keep it and replace eventually tbh; it'll get damaged anyway and your DS probably doesn't care. It kind of sounds like this is more your DH's fault than your MILs though, he should have said NO.

[stucknoue]

Just accept it for now - in 4-5 years time you can replace with more grown up furniture ready for secondary school

[HexagonalBattenburg]

View it as temporary to bridge that point between them being Destructor The Destroyer of Worlds and becoming vaguely civilised with the household contents. She's saved the lovely wood stuff you aspire to from getting battered to fuck and covered with Paw Patrol stickers. Couple of years time when arsehole builders are a thing of the past and the furniture's looking tatty and your child's a bit more out of the tornado stage - you get the furniture done again the way you want it.

My MIL will intentionally fuck up and distort any request or offer of help too so I get what you're feeling there - you can't easily change the furniture so change your mindset about it.

[BillywigSting]

Thanks all, glad I'm not bu!

I will get used to it eventually. The wardrobe doors move depending on where it's standing on the floor (old house, not a straight floor or wall in it)

[lunar1]

Keep stashing a bit of money away every month if you can. When you have enough saved up start being heave handed with the furniture until it breaks.

[Innernutshell]

Maybe your problem is more with your DP rather than your MIL? Did you feel he understood your view at all OP?

Sounds like him and his DM just got together with SIL and did what they wanted. Does this happen a lot?

I guess the best thing would be to let it go for now - ugly furniture isn't a whole huge problem given the range of things in life that can go wrong - but next time state your wishes much more firmly.

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

It’s cheap shite. It will fall apart in less than a year.

Sell it for £50 and buy good quality stuff.

Ignore any ructions from her. She’ll get the message loud and clear that you will not be walked over.

[Aethelthryth]

I would be livid, especially with your husband; but I wouldn't get rid of it: your son won't mind it and it will have to be replaced in a few years' time anyway. In the mean time I would paint it, partly to make it look nicer and partly to make clear that your MIL does not get to choose your decor.

[TimeforDuggee]

I know you said no to stickers but they are designed to be peeled back off again without leaving marks. Both my kids have vinyl stickers on their white IKEA furniture and it looks really cool. Let me find a photo if I can

[Hollowvictory]

El you could have said, thank you but we prefer to get our own. Situstionn is entirely of your own making. Learn to say no thank you. Can you redecorate? The blue is very harsh.

[MeltedEggMum]

Sell it on Facebook and buy your own stuff. Don't let this fester for years!

[BettyJune07]

Why do MIL do this shit! Reminds me of when mine were toddlers and there was a gorgeous rug I wanted for their room, but didn't drive. Asked FIL to take me to the town centre to buy it, MIL pipes up I'll get it for you. So I say okay thankyou much appreciated. The rug I had picked was like hopscotch, and I thought it would be really fun for them to have. She came home with a pink BATHMAT with love hearts on. Because she didn't think they should play hopscotch upstairs... not like it's my house or anything! So frustrating, I would be even more annoyed at a whole room full of furniture I didn't like.

I've seen these cool height chart posters that are fairly narrow, you could blue tac it to one of the doors on the wardrobe to jazz it up a bit?

[Bbang]

Flog it, if she asks tell her it fell apart. Put what you make towards nice new stuff.

[Whatsnewpussyhat]

The tape on the back is usually because the backboard is folded in half when flatpacked is is perfectly normal.

The door can also be easily adjusted via the hinges once the wardrobe is placed in its spot although sometimes wonky doors can be caused by the backboard being put on wonky.

Wall stickers can be used on furniture.