Cake-gate

[8Wina4]

I work in an office environment, in a team of around 20. Before the Easter weekend, I was chatting in the staff room on a break about how I've recently really got into baking, and one of my colleagues jokingly said that she wouldn't mind if I bought some cake to work for her to try. I promised I'd bring some home made cakes in after Easter.

Fast forward to today. I take in four different homemade cakes. I also took in some little vegan cake bites from Tesco, as we have 2 vegans in the office and I wanted them to be able to eat something nice too (everything I baked had flour/eggs in)

One of the vegans approached me at lunch, and told me that she was really disappointed that I hadn't made the effort to home bake anything vegan, and that I had promised homemade cakes, so I should have provided that for everyone. She said she didn't like the vegan cakes I'd bought from Tesco, and that she was fed up with being left out of team lunches/treats.

I was a bit taken aback, so apologised. But the more I think about it, the more I think she was actually the unreasonable one...

Thoughts?

I should also say that I am wheat intolerant and never expect to be baked for in that situation.
If you'd purchased something so I was include, I'd be delighted.

There are no reasonable adjustments a workplace has to make for personal dietary choices

Absolutely. But sometimes it’s just nice to be nice. Bit pointless to have a ‘team’ event and exclude part of your team isn’t it?

Your colleague is an arse.

I organise catering for events and we try to cater to food intolerances - one year I’d arranged a gluten-free vegan cake, only to have someone complain that it was chocolate and they didn’t like chocolate. Another year someone complained that the GF/vegan option was a different type (tray bake) of cake to the standard ones. Then we had a complaint that we’d catered to vegan and gluten free but not dairy free.

The perverse thing is that we have had comments from vegans/GF people expressing surprise and gratitude that we provided anything at all as most places don’t. But the complainers have made it so that we operate a “If you don’t like what we’ve provided, tough - bring your own” line now.

And I also think her comments have come on the back of being consistently left out of ‘team’ events.

How is she consistently left out of team events because she chooses not to eat certain foods? If they lay on lunch, she can pick what she wants to eat. If they go out to lunch, she can choose what she wants to eat from a menu, or ask the staff to provide food without meat or dairy products. People may not explicitly cater for her particular food choices, but neither should they expect them to.

“She sounds like a typical vegan to me.”

Such bollocks.

She was a typical rude person. Why aren’t you saying the vegan who didn’t complain was the “typical vegan”

Maybe it's like vegan 'cheese' - you have to wean yourself off real cheese before you go to vegan as the difference is too marked

This is so true!! grin still not found one I really like, which may be a blessing for my waistline...

Don't know whether these are any good
naturallyveganfood.co.uk/full-shop/?fbclid=IwAR0PbJ12Yxj-dN8byD43FT4JoEZtQ1c-rSIqsNiXIwT0iO4LgMaoUSuA70Y

If she wants a damn vegan cake then she can make the bloody thing herself.

Why aren’t you saying the vegan who didn’t complain was the “typical vegan”

Because she wasn't. She was a normal person who happens to be vegan. The CF vegan was one of the typical complaining vegans who, I imagine, the rest get fed up with.

Ooh. Thank you MumW :) will have to investigate!

Well, I wasn't going to make a cake today...

Ah yes, these “typical complaining vegans” that feature so highly in the public imagination!

IRL I hear far more non vegans complaining about vegans than I do vegans complaining. The other woman is the typical vegan in my experience.

Bit pointless to have a ‘team’ event and exclude part of your team isn’t it?

She chooses not to eat certain things. The clue is 'choice'.

Not to mention that on this occasion she wasn't forgotten about, because in the absence of being an accomplished vegan baker, the OP got a vegan alternative especially for said colleagues. Out of her own pocket.

I don't call that exclusion.

Well, I suppose it depends whether asking whether a restaurant has vegan options is being a “typical complaining vegan”. Rather than saying nothing and ending up with an undressed green salad and a glass of water. But that would be complaining too.Because the only non complaining option is to eat non vegan food!

Gawd some people. I'd have told her that if I'd attempted a vegan cake it would probably have turned out a lot worse than tesco's offering – but as a vegan she must be really good at it so I'd love to try hers!!! (beaming smile then walk away)

Entitled besom.

This is weird! I bake and make cakes for the office, I try to do halal eg basically veggie and no alcohol as a lot of the team are but it wouldn't enter my mind to do a vegan cake.
Vegan cakes are complicated. My aunts vegan and if she came over she always says don't make a fuss as I know it's a pain to cook for me. I try but still that's he polite way of handling it.

Wow she's really rude. No more cake for her

Please make sure the whole office knows just why you won't be bringing in cakes again ... name and shame this CF.

That is so so rude.

Talk about entitled.

Vegan cakes are just vile, whether shop bought or home made, let's be honest. I'm a vegetarian, and tried vegan for 2 days. It was torture.

No more cakes at all Op ..just stop taking them and save yourself the hassle.

This is one of those rare occasions in life where "why don't go and fuck yourself?" Is actually an appropriate response.

She sounds like a bitch. Don't pay her any attention. Definitely don't ever offer her cake again!

Wow, as a vegan myself I think she was being very entitled!! YANBU at all. You thought of the vegans by bringing in another option so they should have just STFU and been grateful.

The trouble is that a large number of vegans do, or have in the past, display a preachy, judgy, condescending and frankly unpleasant attitude towards non-vegans. They have, rightly or wrongly, acquired a reputation for being entitled and moany. I don't believe anyone who can honestly say they haven't heard this. There are many, many other vegans of course who just go on about their every day lives and don't even mention it. But it's the ones who let 'vegan' define them that get on people's nerves. Nobody else is responsible for their dietary choices and they absolutely have to compromise. OP did a kind thing and this rude woman didn't like the cake that was bought especially for her and a really had the exceptionally bad manners yo complain to the OP about it. I cannot believe what I am reading here with some people commenting that OP was thoughtless and unkind for not going through all that effort and expense to make this entitled woman a cake all of her own. How can people defend her?! It wasn't her birthday, she wasn't the reason the OP baked the cakes!

@JaneEyre07

Sorry you didn't get on with being vegan, but not all vegan cakes are vile.

Yes what if you weren't a vegan at all and just didn't like OP's cakes much? You'd take responsibility for that and just be polite. This woman somehow thinks she has the right to get arsey because she's vegan and thinks that makes her morally superior and deserving of special treatment. Of course Not All Vegans Are Like That but it is a thing.