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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cake-gate

529 replies

8Wina4 · 23/04/2019 23:59

I work in an office environment, in a team of around 20. Before the Easter weekend, I was chatting in the staff room on a break about how I've recently really got into baking, and one of my colleagues jokingly said that she wouldn't mind if I bought some cake to work for her to try. I promised I'd bring some home made cakes in after Easter.

Fast forward to today. I take in four different homemade cakes. I also took in some little vegan cake bites from Tesco, as we have 2 vegans in the office and I wanted them to be able to eat something nice too (everything I baked had flour/eggs in)

One of the vegans approached me at lunch, and told me that she was really disappointed that I hadn't made the effort to home bake anything vegan, and that I had promised homemade cakes, so I should have provided that for everyone. She said she didn't like the vegan cakes I'd bought from Tesco, and that she was fed up with being left out of team lunches/treats.

I was a bit taken aback, so apologised. But the more I think about it, the more I think she was actually the unreasonable one...

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Goldenphoenix · 24/04/2019 07:17

She was terribly rude OP, you did nothing wrong. You were really thoughtful to take vegan cakes at all!

frumpety · 24/04/2019 07:29

Would anyone who follows a vegan diet happily make non vegan cakes for their colleagues ?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 24/04/2019 07:30

I'd make one more round of cakes, in a month or so. I'd but more vegan bites from Tesco and (after talking to the other vegan) I would label them

A shitty half-stale afterthought from Tesco

What I wouldn't do is take on board ANY sugestion that I learn how to bake a vegan cake. Sod that. If anyone with a restricted diet wants/needs a special cake they can learn how to bake it themselves - includng DSis who is coeliac. They, after all, are the ones who need new skills!

eggsandwich · 24/04/2019 07:35

Well this really pisses me off, she has made a lifestyle choice to be vegan, my dd has coeliac disease which isn’t a life choice and at school recently their teacher brought in some biscuits as end of term treat and her teacher remembered that she has coeliac disease and brought in some gluten free biscuits just for her, both my dd and myself were really touched by this.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 24/04/2019 07:38

What a vegan wanker she is

People are so entitled in their attitudes these days, everyone has to bow to their special choices ...

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 24/04/2019 07:40

frumpety I wouldn't, but then I find animal-derived products like milk and eggs actively distasteful to touch. I wouldn't expect a non-vegan who found some of the ingredients actively distasteful to make me a vegan cake (in fact I wouldn't expect a cake from them at all)!!

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/04/2019 07:40

I am vegan (mostly)

Confused
BunnyBob · 24/04/2019 07:43

It's tough titty from my point of view! Veganism isn't an affliction, it's her choice. Now if she was coeliac, I'd have made a gluten free cake.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 24/04/2019 07:47

She’s just a cow, op. Don’t give it another moments thought.

billybagpuss · 24/04/2019 07:52

I trust you made sure, or will make sure that all the other members of staff know that you are unlikely to make any more cakes for the office as you were really upset after the conversation and do not have the experience to cater for vegans.

Her workmates need to know what a CF she is.

firepanda · 24/04/2019 07:52

Why should you have to make the effort to learn how to bake vegan cakes? Investing time and money and chucking numerous failed cakes in the bin. Bringing something to share doesn’t mean you’re responsible for making sure it meets everyone’s dietary requirements.

This. It's amazing how there are people out there who genuinely feel like they're entitled to someone else's time, effort, and money, all because they've made certain choices in life!

Welliesandpyjamas · 24/04/2019 07:53

All that baking and purchasing of shop cake must have set you back a bit of money, OP. Plus your time. And the CF colleague is complaining about the standard of her FREE bit of cake?? How rude.

Judgey hat on my head...is she quite young? What makes her have no concept of the time, cost, and effort in you doing something like this?

Honeyroar · 24/04/2019 07:53

I agree with JollyandBright. It has nothing to do with her being a vegan, it’s all about her being a cheeky fucker.

frumpety · 24/04/2019 07:53

Contessals Oreos are vegan ? and flapjack made with Flora or the like instead of butter ? I could stretch to those , in all honesty my non vegan cakes are rubbish anyway, so always get shop bought treats Wink

DonkeyHohtay · 24/04/2019 07:54

"I am a vegan. I will stand still while the entire world will revolve around me".

OP - you bought cake so she could participate. That was including her. 10% of the team does not get to dictate.

I made vegan cake once. It was OK, full of oil and coconut milk though and had a bit of a weird aftertaste.

Welliesandpyjamas · 24/04/2019 07:55

Also, you may be tempted to print out a label saying “Shitty Half Stale After Thought From Tesco” and sticking it on the vegan cake. Or maybe on her next piece of work. 🙊

Biancadelrioisback · 24/04/2019 07:56

If she is vegan through choice, then tough titty. Well, either way tough titty really. I'm allergic to nuts so I can't always have the office treats. That's not a choice. I accept that gracefully, why should everyone else compromise for me when it's non-essential? I bake stuff for work all the time, one of the lads doesn't like ginger so he just doesn't eat my gingerbread which everyone else loves. You don't need to bend over backwards for other people's life choices. They need to figure out how to get by, not you.
Next time tell her you'll attempt your first ever vegan cake, but she needs to compensate the extra costs, and she gets the cake, regardless of how it turns out.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 24/04/2019 07:56

frumpety I would thank you devoutly for Oreos and scoff them all in short order Grin in cases like this the majority of vegans really are just grateful for any consideration at all!

I must admit I tend to forget about the gluten-free contigent in my own office....

Jeezoh · 24/04/2019 08:00

She’s the type of vegan that gives the many normal ones a bad name. It’s impossible to please everyone all of the time, you did a lovely thing, don’t let one rude person make you doubt yourself!

DonkeyHohtay · 24/04/2019 08:02

The one I made was this one:

www.veganrecipeclub.org.uk/recipes/pina-colada-square

You're substituting oil for the butter which keeps it moist, but does give a weird aftertaste. Bicarb and SR flour to help it rise. I was very skeptical and unsure if it would work, and I'm an experienced baker too. It was OK but I probably wouldn't make it again.

I suggest forwarding recipe to militant vegan and suggest that you're all looking forward to trying her baking next week.

gauntletthrown · 24/04/2019 08:06

I'm a vegan and I'd never be so rude! I'd pretend to like the Tesco bits even if I didn't.

In my last job I had the opposite problem. The office cake baker kept making vegan cakes to include me and I always felt I then had to have some when I didn't really like them! I know by doing so I was encouraging her to make more but I didn't want her to feel unappreciated!

LaurieFairyCake · 24/04/2019 08:12

I've tried almost all the vegan cakes in London by bakeries that are vegan and what I've come away with is that it's almost impossible to make a vegan cake that's as good as a normal bakery.

"Crosstown doughnuts" - almost a fiver each. Very thick, very doughy, background of coconut taste - unfortunately to my palate not as good (as I like a lighter texture) as Krispy Kreme

I am happy to eat vegan cakes but only because of the 'virtue' factor as they just don't taste as good to me

Maybe it's like vegan 'cheese' - you have to wean yourself off real cheese before you go to vegan as the difference is too marked Grin

Veganism is tough if you like cheese and cake. Literally my two favourite foods. The only way I can really do it is by cutting down massively. So it's a once or twice a month thing for me and a lot of vegan stuff in between.

BiscuitDrama · 24/04/2019 08:12

I think she was really rude.
But, if you’re making four cakes it’s a shame to not spend ten seconds googling, so that the 1/10 who are vegan can have one too.
I had to make an eggless cake and it was easy and eaten by all. There are loads online.
www.bbcgoodfood.com/user/4614791/recipe/vegan-lemon-cake

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2019 08:16

She was rude and unreasonable. No question about that.But I think I would have made a vegan cake as well if I was making 4. No reason why you should, but it would have been nice.

Electrocute1980 · 24/04/2019 08:18

I'm vegan and I think your colleague was very rude. I would have been touched that you thought to buy vegan cakes so that I wasn't left out!