To ask what your weird secret behaviour is?

[GunpowderGelatine]

You know, the kind of behaviour only you know about which is unusual, and would make people go but you love doing?

For example, I binge on three different Netflix programmes at any one time in what I call a "3-2-1" sequence, which goes like this:

• I will watch a long series (currently Peep Show) 3 episodes at a time
• then I will watch 2 episodes of a shorter series (Santa Clarita Diet at the mo)
• I'll then watch one episode of a weekly-type series after that (Jane the Virgin season 5 at the moment)
• Then it starts with the 3 episodes again, and so on and so forth

I can't deviate from the 3-2-1 sequence, and if for example I've finished the Santa Clarita Diet episodes but the next episode of Jane the Virgin isn't on until 2 day's time, I'll wait to watch anything more until then. I can't just skip it and watch the next 3 Peep Shows, or the world will probably end or something

I don't know why I do this or when it started, but it works for me

Please make me feel normal and tell me your secret weird behaviour

@betweentheacts am snorting my head off at you muttering to yourself in a Scottish accent

I worked for the police for a while. Every time I walked down the corridor to go to the loo, I hummed the tune to The Bill in my head, and walked in time to the music, like in the opening credits.
The tune lasted exactly the distance from desk to cubicle.

I also always lift my top up when I sit on the toilet...

I don't know why, but I can't go without my top being up. I panicked recently because I was desperate and had to twat about tucking my top in my bra

I thought I had no odd stuff to add but actually I have to always have my little fingers resting on a cold bit of duvet as I start to drift off to sleep.

If they (the fingers, in their sleep position) start to jerk around in a sort of uncontrollable manner, my brain whispers ..."ah, sleepy time..." and off I go to sleep. Obvs.

I look at people in the street and decide if they are quirky/ cool enough to put in my imaginary fashion show

I have a weird thing where I love to thread / rub a ribbon or a piece of fabric between my fingers. My mum used to call it ‘silking’ as it was the side of a blanket I loved. I find it hard to sleep without doing it and I can while away a long time in a little chilled out trance.....

Ok am I on my own??!!

Ahhh my people at last!!!

I have what I suspect to be some sort of mild Tourette’s where if I’m embarrassed or confused, I say the name of a person who embarrassed or confused me in the past. It’s generally the same two people but some years it’s someone different. This reason alone is why I can never go on “I’m a sleb get me out of here” or similar, because there would be photos of me all over the papers with the caption Who is “screw you, Andrew you dickhead.”? And then I would have to do interviews with AntAndDec about how Andrew was a shop assistant in a camping shop, who laughed in my face when I asked if they did swimwear.

This was about 25 years ago and I’ve no idea why it seared into my brain —and thwarted forever a career in reality TV.

I also am regularly interviewed by Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton about the time when I won £84 million, and gave a million each to all our friends, on the stipulation that they had to give half away. I’ve gone on to write a book and a highly successful screenplay, starring Duffy as me (don’t know why) and I’m regularly asked for interviews about that too, but I turn most down.
And Anna Wintour is my friend and comes round to style me.

When I’m baking or making tea, if I’m alone, I ‘present’ what I’m doing as though I’m on Blue Peter...and have done it regularly since I was a kid.

I’m glad I’m not the only one with an imaginary life in my head! It’s been going on for about 20 years so was starting to think I’d lost the plot.
Can’t sleep unless I’ve laid on my left side for 5 minutes, then my back for 2 mins, then lay on my right side to fall asleep
If I hear a plane I have to look at it even if it means acting like an excited toddler
Can’t finish a drink every glass has to have a minimum of 1cm left at the bottom then rinsed out if I reuse the glass with the same drink

When I started reading this thread I didn't think I belonged here, but then I remembered...

I have to eat mixed nuts in a particular order, brazils, walnuts, peanuts, hazelnuts, almonds and pecans. Also brazils, walnuts and pecans are eaten one by one, hazelnuts and almonds in pairs and peanuts in threes. Also coloured sweets (like Smarties or M&Ms) have to be eaten in a particular colour order depending on the sweet.

I'm really pattern sensitive, if I'm in a room where the join of the wallpaper or curtains hasn't been properly matched I'm bothered by it the entire time I'm there.

When I'm stressed the light switches have to be correct. The top of the switch is in for off and out or on. Most of the lights in this house have at least two switches so I will often have to walk to the furthest away switch to turn the light on/off. If the light is already on but the switch is wrong I will have to turn the light off then walk to the other switch to turn it back on.

Oh, and I can't drink from a can. I either need a straw or it has to be poured into a glass.

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer too! I also daydream when listening to music, I think up stories to go with the lyrics. (And then I write them down. My mum found one of my stories when I was a teenager and told me I was disturbed. I'm now revisiting said story and turning it into a book. ) Before I discovered music I'd daydream about books I'd read or TV programmes or films I'd seen (I had a long standing day-dream about the characters from Pokemon that lasted for several years, and then I went on to Harry Potter characters.)

I listen to music a LOT, before I go to sleep, walking, when I'm writing or typing, etc. I always move my hands along to the words, mouth the words, move around, although I don't really dance. I can only sing along when I'm alone though, (except when I'm singing hymns at church.) I think it's because when I watch a lot of my favourite singers they wave their arms around a lot and I've picked up on it.

I dress up a lot. I have everyday outfits based on characters and people. (I have a pretty good Professor Snape outfit going on) or I'll buy something if I can see Amy Lee wearing it. (This isn't much of a secret though, my friends know my weirdness!)

@blackamericano I’m with you on the wallpaper join / patterns

I can only switch off the TV on a “good out”, as if I was editing the programme. Sometimes I can stand for ages with my finger on the switch. I did work in TV as a new graduate, but that was 20 years ago.

Before going to bed, I have to blow out the candle. I always have one burning on the mantelpiece of an evening. I clap my hands three times, then blow, and make a wish. My DP thinks I am stone cold mental. If the candle has burned itself out, a terrible thing will happen. I like fancy candles, so this is quite an expensive tic.

I also always look up the plot of films before watching.

I cover the speaker and mic and camera on my phone when in the bathroom because I think people can hear and see me.

If I think a bad/eroric/normal thought i always change it to something more dull or boring or apologise in my head just incase they can read my mind.

Waaaah other people have imaginary stories in their head?

Mine is a rag to riches story how I ended up winning Wimbledon in 2012 being the complete underdog that I wasn't originally picked for the team but ended up winning.

I also cannot remember lyrics as I spend the whole time day dreaming and skip around the house.

@meandwinealone

Oh dear Lord, Yes!
I often look under bridges etc to see where I would get shelter to live.
When I was a little girl, I used to make houses/dens under the massive roots of a big tree in a field (I was an only child, with few friends!). I wonder if that was all connected!

Hahaha! Even my weird shit is not unique How true!!

When I'm a passenger in a car I clench and release my butt cheeks as I pass each lamppost. So when I pass the first one I'll clench, and then hold it until I get to the second before releasing, then clench at the third....and so on. You'd think I'd have buns of steel by now, but sadly not!

Fuck I just wrote a massive post and it disappeared

Maladaptive daydreamer here. I've been Debra Winger the FBI Agent who drives a combine harvester since 1988. I live in the film Betrayed (1988) starring Tom Berenger. I get Tom to mend his ways and I turn my back on the FBI to become a Nebraskan farmers wife. We have a pond on our land and I am extraordinarily agile and can ride any horse bareback. I also grow and preserve my own vegetables and am ready to shoot trespassers. I have amazing blonde hair and sing Waylon Jennings songs with a country band.

whohaa I have a very similar daydream, about surviving a post-apocalyptic world. Robbie Williams also survives...

I have another daydream where I rescue/kidnap a baby (it was a plot in a recent novel, and not something I would actually do!) but it has incredibly worked out details about how I would evade the police, what kind of false trails I’d leave.

When having to make a decision about something I often think 'what would a real adult /woman /mother / professional do???'.
Then I make the decision accordingly.

Also, and this is weird, I often clean my desk, wiping it down passionately with antiseptic wet wipes when I know my boss is in the vicinity.

I like to think it makes me look obsessive about cleaning, neat, tidy and a consummate professional.

It's all bollocks, obviously

Thigh

I have two things to say

1. it it confirmation bias?
2. Stone bloody henge

Can you please get home and back under the slanket. now

@terftastic what the actual fuck? You fart in bottles and keep them? Do you ever open them?

When I’m driving i pretend I’m in a music video looking out the window singing sad songs. Sometimes I’m Ashanti and some times I’m Ja rule. I can actually rap very good. The music video is extra good when it’s raining it makes it really sad