WIBU to insist on swapping rooms?

[IDontMindAnythingWillDo]

I have two DCs - 2 and 6 and I also have a DSD who is 10.

We have a very modest three bedroom semi. The third bedroom is only a single room. Bigger than a box room but you’d never ever fit two beds in it. At the moment both my DCs share this little room. Eldest DC has a two-thirds size single bed and 2 year old is still in a cot. But I really want to move two year old to a toddler bed and there isn’t room. I think DSD should have the smaller room, since she’s only here half the time and the DCs should move to the bigger room. I’ve mentioned it to DH and DSD and the idea went down like a cup of cold sick with both of them.

WIBU to just insist that it’s happening and do it anyway?

10 yo needs to grow up and realise life isn’t all about her.

DH needs to grow a pair and be her parent, not her friend.

I'd show your oh this thread, maybe he'll realise he's being unreasonable when he sees just how many people think the set up is bonkers as it is

No brainer. My eldest DC has the smallest room in our house because he’s the boy so it just makes most sense for DD’s to share.

Definitely makes sense for your DSD to have the smaller room.

Is a no brained, you need to work out how to sell it, but I'd make it clear it's happening

I know in MN world people think SC should be treated far better than children who live there full time, have the most presents and the biggest rooms etc but realistically to have 2 kids sharing a pokey room is ridiculous. YANBU, just move them, and tell her to count herself lucky she had a room to herself!

Two children sharing should get the bigger room and the child on their own gets the smaller room but they are still lucky because they get it all to themselves. To be honest I’d just move the rooms over one day and be done with it.

There are 2 options - bigger house or the bigger room is shared.

The fact DSD is a step child and only there part time is a red herring - even if she was there full time and a full sibling this issue would come up as her siblings are no longer able to share a room as they have literally grown out of their room and the room situation needs to be reassessed.

Whether this means the DSD has to move into the smaller room is dependant on the genders of the younger two.

If all are girls then DSD has two options - she can either share the big room (and let her choose which of her sisters she wants to "let move in with her" with as a compromise) or move to the smaller room to let the younger two share.

If one of the younger ones is a girl and the other a boy then she has to share with her sister and let her brother have the box room.

If they are both boys then she needs to let them have the bigger room as they need the space. It does suck to go from the biggest room to smallest, even when it is the logical and logistical option, so you could offer her some other benefit to make the deal more palatable (eg redecorating how she wants/new bedroom furniture to maximise the smaller space/something she has been asking for etc)

It doesn’t matter who is “step” or not there all the time - what matters is that there should be two children in the bigger room and one in the smaller.

^^this

It's not about DSD being there part-time, if she was fully resident it would still be fairer for the sharers to be in biggest room.

The alternative is that all the beds go in the second room (DSD on top bunk, 4yo bittom bunk, 2yo junior bed) and the smallest room becomes a den for her to do homework etc.

@beachcitygirl has said exactly what I was going to suggest.

If your younger 2 prefer to share, I would give them the large room, and move DSD to the small room.

But if it was me, I would move the 2yr old into the small room and the 6 yr old into the large room. When DSD is there, she would share with the 6 yr old.

Seems silly to me to have an empty room for half the time, just sitting there for when DSD is staying.

Having said this, the sex of the children is relevant. As DSD is already 10, if your other two are boys I would have them share the large room, and accept that the small room will be empty half the time.

So op. What sex are your children

Point out to your dh and dsd that the biggest room has to be shared so either she shares with the elder of her two siblings or she can have a room all to herself.

agree that the eldest being a step daughter is a red herring. She still gets her own room!

I would have spoken just to dh about it first not involving the daughter until we’d agreed.

Obviously the single room has 1 child in it, and the other 2 share the bigger room. How you split it up should take the kids’ preferences into account - if a particular 2 would rather share, or the toddler wakes the 6 year old up etc.

I’d probably be understanding that the 10 year old will miss the bigger space, so I’d try to sweeten the deal by decorating the new room. New paint and bedding if needing to do it as cheaply as possible, or a high bed to maximise space and new furniture if you can afford it. We had no money when I was a kid but I redecorated my room a couple of times over the years and really enjoyed choosing colours etc. It made a huge difference.