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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my job?

55 replies

CleverQuacks · 22/04/2019 21:02

I am a single mum to three beautiful children. My youngest is 4 years old and has a range of special needs including development delay, hyper mobility, and speech disorder.

I currently work full time in a job that I have previously loved but more recently I have lost all passion in my work. I am just so bored. I have looked at other jobs but my heart isn’t in it.

Out of boredom tonight I have been on “entitled to” and done a benefits calculator and discovered I could receive just as much in benefits as I am currently earning. This would also mean I could be at home with my kids (paying no childcare) and take my youngest to all his appointments.

I suddenly feel free and excited at the prospect of being a SAHM. However I should also say (don’t want to drip feed) I have borderline personality disorder and can be very impulsive and manic so I am worried I will regret my decision when this excitement wears off.

What does everyone think?? Do I quit my job and stay at home with the kids?? (Also does anyone know how accurate the benefit calculators are. I don’t want to leave my job and then find out it’s wrong!)

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:05

Is your child on DLA ? Because otherwise you wont be able to not work once they reach school age. Also you cannot make a new claim for Income support so you would have to switch to Universal credit ( assuming you are currently getting tax credits? ).

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/04/2019 21:05

No don’t undertake a rash impulsive act
Remain in work,go part time
And don’t belice anyone on mn who tells you how fulfilled you’ll be blah blah

hidinginthenightgarden · 22/04/2019 21:07

If you quit your job you cannot sign on for 6/8 weeks.
IT isn't the pretty picture it sounds!

IceRebel · 22/04/2019 21:07

Surely the entitled to calculator is also including benefits you are already receiving?

I can't see how you would be better off on benefits than a full time job, especially since all your children are in school, or will be from September.

Coulddowithanap · 22/04/2019 21:09

I wouldn't believe what that entitled to website says you would get in benefits as it said we should get a lot more than we actually did at the time.

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 22/04/2019 21:09

Yes my child receives DLA.

Unfortunately I can not afford to go part time otherwise that would be my ideal option

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:09

You would be able to claim benefits straight away if you classed yourself as a carer as you would have no work commitments so wouldn't be sanctioned for giving up work.

Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:10

what benefits are you currently on ( if any) ?

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 22/04/2019 21:12

It’s so hard to know what to do. I grew up in a family with a strong work ethic so it feels weird to think about not working. But it’s exciting to. I miss out with so much with the kids at the moment.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:13

I think it might seem a better option at the moment but you do need to think longer term, especially as all your children will soon be at school. Personally I would look for a part time job and be topped up by benefits rather than not work at all which could affect your long term job prospects.

IceRebel · 22/04/2019 21:15

I miss out with so much with the kids at the moment.

Giving up your job doesn't solve this. You would still have a huge portion of the day without them, whilst they are at school and any clubs they do.

Teatimeted · 22/04/2019 21:17

How would it work long term? When would you return to work? Or would you never? What if the benefits situation changed and you were entitled to less?

I work full time. I miss out on tons with my kid. It makes me feel guilty every day. But what I don't feel is anxious or stressed or worried about how I'm going to pay my mortgage, or what I'd do if the boiler packed up or the car failed it's MOT. I'm just not sure I could ever live with that level of financial insecurity.

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 22/04/2019 21:17

Currently we get tax credits, child benefit and DLA.

I would love to work part time but, having to pay for childcare, makes it financially not viable.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:17

As far as how accurate the benefit calculators are you would get on Universal credit £317 standard element ( assuming you are over 25) + £277 for child 1, £231 for child 2, £231 for child 3, £160 carers element, then rent element depending on what your rent is , then disabled child element depends what rate your child is on as to what you would get. then DLA and child benefit x3 paid separately. So yes it is highly likely you would get more than working full time but then you probably should already be getting some tax credits or something already to top up current wages ??

Babyroobs · 22/04/2019 21:21

You would still get help with childcare if working over 16 hours on tax credits or for any number of reduced hours on UC.

WhatsthebestEast3rEgg19 · 22/04/2019 22:51

Do you pay into an employee private pension, where your employer adds free money ? Because if you left work, you would be missing out
Does your employer provide life insurance ? Or other free benefits ?

BackforGood · 22/04/2019 23:05

I would love to work part time but, having to pay for childcare, makes it financially not viable.

Sorry, can you explain why not? If you were working (say) 3 days a week, you'd get 3/5 of gross pay (slightly more net, because of the way tax works) and you'd be paying 3/5 of the childcare costs. Why does having to pay for childcare mean you can't afford to work PT ?

cestlavielife · 22/04/2019 23:10

Is the house with a mortgage? Do you need to plan to pay new boiler or roof repairs?
Or rented?
What pension are you accruing?
Who does childcare now?

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 23/04/2019 09:43

My house is mortgaged and I could afford the repayments with the benefit money I would be getting (assuming the calculations are right)

My biggest concern is my pension. Currently both myself and my employer pay into it but obviously if leave work I will no longer be paying into it and won’t have an income when I reach retirement age.

Currently my youngest goes to nursery and my middle son goes to breakfast and after school club.

OP posts:
Glittery1 · 23/04/2019 10:05

I honestly would give up full time work if I got the same money in benefits! I have a feeling that there won't be many admit to this, but I 100% would.

Unfortunately that's never going to happen for me....

stucknoue · 23/04/2019 10:12

Can you find part time school hours work so there's no childcare?

Cbatothinkofaname · 23/04/2019 10:13

Very short sighted. You’ll be screwed with no pension provision later on. Not to mention being at the mercy of every change in welfare policy. Not a way I’d want to live. Also if your youngest is 4, then you’re talking about the kids all being in school for a large chunk of the day soon. Sounds a bit like you’ve done the hard graft bit without getting the payback of having a decent job and pension plus school age kids who just need wraparound care and who you wouldn’t be spending time with for the majority of the day anyway. Nuts!

Original poster
CleverQuacks · 23/04/2019 10:23

Part time, school hours work is like gold dust. Those jobs rarely come up in my field of work and when they do there is so much competition for them.

OP posts:
Mari50 · 23/04/2019 10:43

You aren’t going to be staying at home with your kids though are you? The youngest is 4 so presumably will be starting school v soon so you’re giving up work to do nothing for 6 hours in the day.
I would never quit work to live off other people’s taxes unless there was a genuine need- disability etc.

cestlavielife · 23/04/2019 12:03

But if you ever have to remortgage or get a loan for a new roof etc the benefits might not be accepted as income in the same way.

And you don't know what future welfare cuts will be

You are setting up for precarious position financially. Plus v little pension.
And if ds eventually moves on or into residential or supported living he takes his benefits with him.
Long term it s not a good plan