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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be troubled by this encounter on the beach?

81 replies

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:00

Nb, regular user name changed for this.

I’ve just finished watching the McCann documentary on Netflix. While watching I was reminded of a (completely unrelated) but troubling incident that happened to us on the beach a few years ago.

Now it’s on my mind again. As I think it was suspicious but have never been able to figure out how, or why, or whether I should do anything about it.

It was a warm spring summer day. We were on our local beach. My daughter (4 or 5 at the time) was in her swimsuit running in and out of the shallows. My son was in his buggy. We walked as a family slowly up the beach. As we did so, we were approached by a couple who asked if they could film us collectively walking up from the sea, at a future time, to make an intro for a promotional film they were making to raise funds to build a recovery retreat locally for adults who had suffered trauma.

The man was quite beguiling. His appearance was unusual and his accent possibly Belgian or Austrian. He wrapped me into a story about his own recovery from trauma and what he hoped to do with the new centre.

Naively, I gave him my email address and said he could contact me in the future.

All this time I hadn’t really noticed, but another adult in our group pointed out afterwards, that the young ish woman accompanying him who had not said a single word, had been watching my young daughter intently, enough to unsettle her and for her to remark upon it to me.

I never heard from this man. And when I googled I found absolutely nothing about the potential recovery centre. Things like this would typically make the local press, if they were fund raising or wanted planning permission. But nothing. And still nothing years later.

It’s the attention on my daughter that bothers me still. Should I have alerted someone to these people and their behaviour?

It may or may not be relevant but my daughter is a very pretty girl, long dark blonde hair and large green eyes, porcelain skin.

Would it have unsettled you and what might you have done about it if so?

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 22/04/2019 21:03

Well it's happened now....

managedmis · 22/04/2019 21:05

Yeah, don't talk to strangers on the beach, especially when they want to film your kid

FamilyIssues2 · 22/04/2019 21:07

It was a few years ago? You should have done something at the time.

Merename · 22/04/2019 21:08

It does sound strange but hard to know what the intention was, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to inform the local police on 101 in case it could add to their intelligence, if that made you feel better? I think it’s usually a good idea to trust your gut on these things, if you feel troubled there could be reason to be.

headinhands · 22/04/2019 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:14

Thanks merename. I think I may do that.

I dismissed them as a little odd at the time but had no reason to doubt their story. And we live in a part of the world where it is totally normal to talk to people in quite a relaxed way when out and about.

It’s only in hindsight, knowing that no such retreat ever appeared, and as a more experienced parent with more knowledge of the dangers posing children in the world that I feel a deep discomfort about it.

OP posts:
Witchend · 22/04/2019 21:24

Most likely is that either their project never got underway, got underway under a different name or in a different area. I've known several such projects that have never got past the planning in people's heads stage.

What are you actually thinking? That they were planning on filming you and then offering your dd from the pictures up for sale? Surely the last thing they'd want to do is advertise their presence to you?

If she didn't say anything then maybe that's because she didn't speak much English.

TerryWogansWilly · 22/04/2019 21:28

I bet you wish your dd was ugly then she'd forever be safe from pedophiles

Hmm

I don't think anyone believes that. Im sure the OP doesn't. But it is relevant. If they were making a film it might be why they chose her.

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:28

Honestly I don’t know witchend. All I know it I feel retrospectively uneasy, watching the documentary about MM reminded me of that unease, and the knowledge that dark forces are present in our world. And that’s about it really.

I googled and googled to see if anyone of their description was known locally, associated with their claimed project, or anything, or if anyone had reported similar incidents on local beaches. And I’ve found nothing.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 22/04/2019 21:31

Don’t be so daft, you can’t go to the police with this

Projects don’t get off the ground for lots of reasons.

It was years ago fgs.

babysharkah · 22/04/2019 21:32

The project could simply have not got off the ground.

I have blond identical twins when they were small they got A LOT of attention from Japanese tourists who would ask if they could take videos or photos to show at home. No was my answer.

Nicknacky · 22/04/2019 21:33

There is absolutely zilch the police will do with this info and would be an utter waste of a phone call.

purpleme12 · 22/04/2019 21:34

Yes I don't see how you can go to the police with this either Hmm

It seems a bit of a non event really even if it might have been a bit odd/unsettling. Nothing really happened did it

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:38

No nothing did happen to us at the time, nor since.

I feel uneasy about their behaviour, which may or may not signal that they were or are involved in something unsavoury. I don’t know. It’s a gut feeling. Which is hopelessly unhelpful.

I should probably forget it.

OP posts:
SuperSara · 22/04/2019 21:43

Why would you name change to post about this, and tell us you’ve done so?

Seems a bit odd.

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:44

Sara, simply because I am a long standing poster and my previous posting history could probably locate me or out me if people did an advanced search and I felt vulnerable posting this.

OP posts:
LovelyJubbly67 · 22/04/2019 21:44

sounds like a close shave

YeOldeTrout · 22/04/2019 21:46

I'm struggling to understand why this bothers OP.
Do you like believing in McCann conspiracy theories?

sleepyyetawake · 22/04/2019 21:49

Were you alone with your children? That’s maybe why you were approached,

PurpleKelp · 22/04/2019 21:51

No, I am far from a conspiracy theorist...

It just reminded me that the world isn’t a bed of roses, bad things happen, and not everyone in the world has honest or good intentions.

The involvement of a young girl triggered my unease about our encounter on the beach. It’s a gut unease. I’ve probably described the situation badly, and it was years ago, clearly I should have either acted at the time or forgotten it.

I posted because I wanted to chew it over with others who may have a more objective or informed view than I do.

Oh well.

OP posts:
ShesABelter · 22/04/2019 21:51

I'm a bit baffled by this. Nothing happened to you. He didn't even email surely if he wanted more info on you or your daughter because he was unsavoury he would of made contact.

You said your little girl is pretty maybe the girl was looking at her just because she found her pretty not in a creepy way.

With all due respect it sounds like you are reaching with this. There's nothing the police could do now.

TheBigFatMermaid · 22/04/2019 21:51

Just be glad you were not neglectful parents who left their DC to go a tapas bar with friends or you may have been as 'unlucky' as the McCanns!

Redglitter · 22/04/2019 21:51

I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to inform the local police on 101

Oh seriously??? Dont be ridiculous. This total non event occurred several years ago. Dont waste your time, or theirs

Phoning 101 might be the MN solution to pretty much everything but it's really not

Redglitter · 22/04/2019 21:51

I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to inform the local police on 101

Oh seriously??? Dont be ridiculous. This total non event occurred several years ago. Dont waste your time, or theirs

Phoning 101 might be the MN solution to pretty much everything but it's really not

ShitAtScarbble · 22/04/2019 21:53

Agree with Redglitter - both times Grin

What on earth do you think the police on any local service are going to say or do about this? Insanity.

Put it to bed OP. There really is no other option

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