Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BIL fucked the garden up

69 replies

incogneto · 22/04/2019 16:56

I'm seething. Have done a couple threads under my previous user name about how pissed off I was that DPs family keep visiting every other day. I'm heavily pregnant and not in the mood for visitors 24/7, especially ones that stay all bloody day and night.

Anyway, BIL has been at ours Friday & Saturday this weekend. Stayed from lunch time until 12 at night each time.

Rang DH today and said he was coming up to do our front garden before baby arrives. He's a landscaper and said he was bringing tools from work before he returns tomorrow.

Fair enough.

However all he's done is sprayed a bit of weed killer, used a spade and dumped all the weeds and shit all over the front garden and has left it.

AIBU to think he used doing the garden as an excuse just to come and visit us again? It's like he wants to be here constantly.

Has even asked DP if he's on early shifts this week so he can come up every night after work. Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
incogneto · 22/04/2019 16:57

Only just realised that was a long post but I needed to rant

OP posts:
RSAcre · 22/04/2019 16:59

Has even asked DP if he's on early shifts this week so he can come up every night after work.

WHAT?
How is it that YOU are getting no say in what cheeky fucker gets to squat in your house? Have you discussed this with DP? Can you not simply state that you need some time to yourself, in your house, without having other people around all the time?

Original poster
incogneto · 22/04/2019 17:02

@RSAcre I'm pissed off. No way is he coming round every night after DP finishes work. This is our last week together before I'm induced this weekend.

I wanted to lie down on the other sofa before he arrived, I've now had to come upstairs and lie on the bed because he's here now and has fucked the garden off so dossing in the living room.

I just don't understand it!

OP posts:
chuttypicks · 22/04/2019 17:07

Tell him you've had enough of him for today and you want some peace and quiet in your home without him there. Stand up for yourself as it seems that your partner isn't going to do it.

Sexnotgender · 22/04/2019 17:09

Hope you’re not still being required to drive him home at midnight?

Original poster
incogneto · 22/04/2019 17:10

@chuttypicks He can think twice if he thinks I'm giving him a lift home as well

OP posts:
Original poster
incogneto · 22/04/2019 17:11

@Sexnotgender He used to before I told DP it's absolutely not happening. I'm knackered as it is!

He was dating a girl that worked locally and she would pick him up after her late shifts. Now they aren't a thing anymore so I have no idea how he's expecting to get home tonight.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 22/04/2019 17:18

You have a DP issue here - its your house and his family are not respecting your boundaries

BananaFace5 · 22/04/2019 17:24

Tell dh pregnancy is making you so hot that youre going to spend the week walking round naked whether bil is there or nit, so he'd better not be

Boysey45 · 22/04/2019 17:24

You need to talk to your partner and get him to tell his family to back right off and give you both some space. just allocate 2 hours per week for visitors say and they cant be seen outside those times.
No way would I put up with that brother,has he been made homeless or something? My friend had this with her uncle years ago.

lordofthefries · 22/04/2019 17:28

Your need to talk to your partner, he needs to tell his brother to give you two some space!

GreenTulips · 22/04/2019 17:30

I’d lie on the couch and flick on a right girly film and then request food and drink every 20 mins or so ..... he’ll soon go

wineandroses1 · 22/04/2019 17:42

Why don’t you simply tell him yourself that he can’t come around so often? Obviously your partner should have already told him, but clearly he hasn’t, so why don’t you?

LaurieFairyCake · 22/04/2019 17:43

Actually the lift thing could work to your advantage

"I'm off to bed at 7 so if you need a lift nows the time"

Aquamarine1029 · 22/04/2019 17:47

You have a HUGE partner problem. Why isn't he looking after your best interests or is he really that useless?

desparate4sleep · 22/04/2019 17:53

have you told your DP how you feel?

regmover · 22/04/2019 18:01

If he's dossing on the sofa just say "Could you move please? I want to rest on there." and the job's done. Re the garden - he's there - just ask him when he's going to clear the rubbish out of the front garden. Rest...

MaudAndOtherPoems · 22/04/2019 18:04

So he's not using your garden to practise his entry for the Chelsea Flower Show then?

SlappingJoffrey · 22/04/2019 18:07

Why does he want to spend so much time at your house?

OddCat · 22/04/2019 18:09

I'm going to start MN assertiveness classes! Just tell him he's outstaying his welcome and he can clear the mess he's left on his way out !

cranstonmanor · 22/04/2019 18:18

"Would you like a cup of coffee before you go?" "No? Ok, shall I get your coat or didn't you bring anything? I'll walk you to the door now then"

FriarTuck · 22/04/2019 18:22

'Off the sofa, I need it. And it's about time you went home. Oh and we're having a quiet week to ourselves this week before the baby comes so don't come round because we won't be letting you in. Bye'
Sorted.

Tistheseason17 · 22/04/2019 18:23

What is your DP actually saying???

CoffeeConnoisseur · 22/04/2019 18:25

You keep posting the same old same old and nothing changes.

The problem here is entirely that you’re having a baby with a spineless gobshite who allows his brother to walk all over you.

Jux · 22/04/2019 18:26

NO! No coffee offers!

Just go down, say "BIL, I need time alone now, when will you be finishng the garden? I'll see you then. Goodbye"

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread