BIL fucked the garden up

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I'm seething. Have done a couple threads under my previous user name about how pissed off I was that DPs family keep visiting every other day. I'm heavily pregnant and not in the mood for visitors 24/7, especially ones that stay all bloody day and night.

Anyway, BIL has been at ours Friday & Saturday this weekend. Stayed from lunch time until 12 at night each time.

Rang DH today and said he was coming up to do our front garden before baby arrives. He's a landscaper and said he was bringing tools from work before he returns tomorrow.

Fair enough.

However all he's done is sprayed a bit of weed killer, used a spade and dumped all the weeds and shit all over the front garden and has left it.

AIBU to think he used doing the garden as an excuse just to come and visit us again? It's like he wants to be here constantly.

Has even asked DP if he's on early shifts this week so he can come up every night after work.

noone comes round my house without an invite yes it might be controlling but i couldnt cope with people coming round and dossing like its a hotel

tell dp to tell him to get gone

Does your DP want his brother there? It's his house too remember although I can see that every evening is a bit much.

dossing in the living room
So go and tell him to fuck off to his own home!
What's the point in you whingeing here if you're too much of a flippin doormat to do anything about it?

You NEED to kick off big style with these piss takers - and that includes that wet arse of a 'd'p you insist on staying with!

If you don't put your foot down now then you've no chance when the baby is here and you have zero energy left to even think straight let alone insist on basic privacy in your own home.

DP got rid of this brother and it's only 7pm. Progress!

I think he wants to spend so much time here as he has to share a bedroom with his 16 year old brother. BIL is almost 25 btw.

It's not our problem though that he has no space at home. He just doesn't want to move out because his mum wipes his arse for him and he's got a gambling problem so he has no money to move out

Yay!! Nice bit of peace and quiet for you then op!

@BananaFace5

He needs to find a flat or a house share. What does your DH say ?

You need to set the ground rules now for post birth or he is really going to piss you off!

And hopefully your dh has told him to fucking well stay away the rest of this week.

DP didn't seem to have a problem with him coming round but I think today I could sense he was also pissed off as BIL rang out the blue and said he was coming up doing the garden (which he didn't). He was already on the way before either of us could say no which I think is so rude.

I really think BIL is going through something at the moment. I think he's still upset over the woman he was seeing for a while before things went tits up so he doesn't want to be alone. I understand that but he needs to find other ways of occupying his time instead of coming here every day or two.

Time to assert yourself!

Get your DP to text him and say
we’re having time alone this week before the baby comes, then when we do have the baby we’ll want some time with the baby so I’ll let you know when’s convenient for you to come round.

I would imagine the BIL means he'll be over during the evenings this week to finish the garden, his gift to you before the baby's born.

@SaltSpoon I highly doubt that will be the case! He's to return the gardening equipment to his work tomorrow so he won't have it for the rest of the week

BIL just messaged me on Facebook saying how difficult it is to walk all the way home in this weather. He said he was meant to send it to DP but I don't believe him. Think he's being arsey cos I didn't offer him a lift!!

Tell the CF F off and enjoy his walk home and if I where you I would be telling your DP to let his brother know that he needs to stay away from your home he is massively taking the piss.

You could always tell him that the fresh air will do him some good?

@Yousicktwistedfruit i think he definitely sent that message to me on purpose! Not that I care. It's nice weather for a walk anyway and my car doesn't run on fresh air

Just tell him you agree totally and he shouldn't make the trip over for another few weeks.

I would reply “lovely day for a walk” with a smile emoticon

@MadeForThis @AuditAngel brilliant

If anyone sprayed my garden with weed killer, I’d be furious!

I'd just be blunt and tell him no he can't come round every night as you need the rest.
"Isn't it time you were going home then? Oh and I want that garden sorted out by the time I come home with the baby and no you're not doing it this week either!"
If you're DP won't tell him to sling his hook you're going to have to!

"Yeah it's a bit rubbish - we'll need the house to ourselves for the next 6 months with the baby coming anyway, so you won't have to make the walk again for ages at least!"