To be pissed off with the school and wonder where I go from here.

[SoConfused2019]

Back in Feb there was an incident on school grounds that I was caught up in. I'd witnessed 2 women ganging up on another mum, screaming and swearing in her face as they had her backed up against the wall, all I saw at the time was her daughter in between the 2 of them looking petrified clinging to her mum, so with my own son I walked over and shouted for them to calm down, your on a playground, she's got her child right there - this was witnessed by a number of parents.

The 2 women then decided to turn on me for trying to get involved. I had a finger pointed in my face repeatedly which I removed and told her to never touch me again, at this point the 2 of them slapped me on either side of my head, with 1 grabbing hold of my head, pulling me downwards and forcibly shaking me around. I was screaming for the police to be called at this point and kept shouting to her that my child was standing here watching it. This was eventually broken up by a teacher.
The other girl had also become in a fight with someone else who had pulled her off me. The 2 women then carried on fighting even running at someone else who tried to get involved - they both came into the school with children in prams and witnesses have told me the prams were pushed away and tipped over by there own mothers to start this fight.

Right after it ended again I asked for the police to be called, eventually they came and I asked to make a statement that I was assaulted. they ignored this request because a teacher had said she was assaulted so that took higher priority apparently. I left the school after being told I was being banned from the premises indefinitely, and told I was facing a charge of affray, and in a state of shock I just went home and cried and looked at the bald patches where she'd pulled my hair out.

The next day I went to the station and tried again to make a statement, I was told to wait and someone would be in touch. fast forward 6 weeks, and since then i've been taking my son through the Schoo office, i've not been allowed to any special assemblies - he did a full sign language assembly which I wasn't allowed to, along with various charity days. so all in all I feel my Childs missed out. The others were also banned, so it wasn't just me but the way the school have handled this I find it appalling. Ive been ignored by teachers who would usually be chatty, I wasn't allowed to parents evening, I eventually did give a statement to the policeman when they finally got in touch 5 weeks after it all happened. even he mentioned that he was appalled I was being treated the same as them, and he could see I was the victim, he also said I had nothing to worry about. He also said I could have made an assault charge at any time so I dont know why I was brushed off 3 times with a teacher taking priority - in the end this teacher hasn't even made any charges.

Im disgusted with the way the School have handled this. I collect my child and leave - the other 2 are well known for fighting and arguing with anyone who looks at them the wrong way, I wont get the past 6 weeks back, the shame of going to that school to collect him now is horrendous, but thankfully people have been lovely to me, so many have come up to see how I was, I just find the teachers attitudes to it all disgusting and im left wondering where do I go from here. I ended up loosing my sunglasses as they smashed them to bits, I had whiplash which Im now in physiology for - the police are doing anything and now the school have said the same, we have a meeting this week but I truly feel like taking my child out of the place. guess this is more a wwyd because I already know im not being UR to be pissed off.

As a chair of Governors for a primary school, I've had to review a similar situation. First of all the school aren't interested in what's fair. Its easiest for them to ban a bunch of parents as then they have ticked all their safeguarding boxes. I wouldn't go to a meeting to listen to "what the school have to say", they will say that they are right and the head has the authority to ban parents, so your complaint is about the decision taken by him or her, and for that reason alone your complaint can go direct to the Chair of Governors. You can do that tomorrow.

If a teacher was hurt or wasn't that's not connected to your situation. But this and the police involvement will be used to muddy the waters - the school will keep saying it was because of the police investigation, which of course has been dropped and nothing resolved.

The police have a policy now of not taking forward any assaults etc where its one person's word against another, its too time consuming, and that policy has been applied to you. You need to decide whether or not to pursue that separately.

The situation might seem complicated or difficult, and that "benefits" the people who have made it difficult for you OP but you have to strip it right down so that you can literally see the wood for the trees, then make your complaint. The Head made a decision, you think that was wrong, therefore you complain about that decision direct to the Chair of Governors as a Head teacher cannot review a complaint about themselves (so the first stages of any complaints procedure do not apply). It sounds like your "ban" was issued by the Head teacher rather than the Local Authority but you can still copy the LA in on any correspondence:

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/banning-parents-from-school-premises/

If you breach the ban you can be prosecuted, so its not something to be taken lightly and you have been dealt with appallingly.

I’d be happy to go to the school office and be seen as an interfering busybody, given those choices.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/banning-parents-from-school-premises/

That guidance:
Isn't up to date
Isn't LA/MAT specific.

dishingout

How do you square being a chair of governors with the disdain you obviously feel for teachers and schools? Does it not interfere with your ability to do your job?

OP don't see it as teaching your DS to run away but that toxic volatile people are best avoided and it's ok to leave somewhere that isn't safe. This doesn't sound like a safe environment

It doesn't surprise me that this is an Academy. For them the school is a business and they have little interest in parents - I suspect that all they wanted to do was to sweep this under the carpet as quickly as possible by blaming everyone involved, and you have become a nuisance by failing to go along with their narrative.

You should be able to find the school's complaints policy on their website. I would suggest that you take someone with you to the meeting and that they take detailed notes. It may also be worth recording the meeting: you are perfectly entitled to do so for your own personal use, and you don't have to tell them you are doing so or ask their permission. It would also make sense to draw up your own agenda for the meeting and send it to them in advance.

So far as the ban is concerned, the school is required to follow government guidance - dera.ioe.ac.uk/17644/1/school%20security%20advice%20181212.pdf.

As you will note, there is a procedure under which schools should write to parents giving them a chance to express their views before confirming any ban. Also any ban should be subject to review within a reasonable time scale. If the school did not comply with these requirements it is already on dodgy ground and, as indicated in the guidance, the courts have made it clear that this is not optional. You could make representations based on the fact that the original ban was never justified as demonstrated in their own staff's witness statements and now needs to be removed with a full apology.

If they won't do that I guess you would have to take the issue to the Department for Education as the school is funded by them. Alternatively you may be able to take judicial review proceedings but that should always be a last resort, and would potentially be expensive unless you qualify for legal aid.

Most of the police are total arseholes and will do anything to avoid helping a member of the public

Ridiculous generalisation

In case the issue of whether the school is bound by the DfE guidance arises, the norm is for academy funding agreements to include provisions requiring them to comply with this type of guidance. If the school tries to suggest that it is not bound to follow what is, after all, simply good and fair practice, I would suggest you ask them to produce chapter and verse demonstrating that.

I'd have used this incident to apply and appeal for another school tbh. It sounds hideous. If you can, do that ASAP.

If you want to go anywhere with this with the school, then you need to make a formal complaint to the Chair of Governors that the correct process was not followed after the incident by the head teacher. I presume that you got an official letter from the school banning you from the site which pre-dates any conversation you had with the school, which confirms that the correct process was not followed.
However I do wonder whether it is worth the hassle it will cause. Hopefully your ban will be rescinded, especially as the process also involves the ban being for the minimum period thought to be appropriate and at that point you make a decision whether the trust in the school has broken down irrevocably or not and a move to another school is necessary.

OP did nothing wrong, a child was scared and a woman was being threatened, op didn't have time to go get a teacher she reacted sensibly of course she has a right to complain. The school have made no attempt to investigate what happened but have banned all involved from the site. This is clearly hugely unfair and having a huge negative impact on op and her child I would also move my child's school this place sounds horrendous.

OP did nothing wrong

Were you there?

At least DC has now learnt something important.

It is better than being brought up with expectations that better fit 20/30 years ago, and completely unprepared when the authorities behave like this, predatory or punitive towards victims and conciliatory/indifferent towards offenders.

Tanpestry No, of course she wasn’t there, but nor was anyone else on here apart from the OP. That’s the same on any AIBU thread, that’s never stopped anyone from making a judgement as if they had been there.

On the basis of what the OP has said, she doesn’t appear to have done anything wrong. There was a frightened child whose mum was being attacked, she acted instinctively.

Of course I wasn't there but I've read OP'S description and responded to the information given. Obviously op could have invented the entire incident and not even have a child for all we know but that's the case on every thread. You respond under the assumption op isn't making it all up.

What the hell kind of school are you at..I would not of sent my child back there...if the school can’t be fair and sort out assaults on their premises WITH parents watching
What the hell happens when they are not watching
Over my dead body would my child be going back after Easter

Look up your school's complaints procedure and follow it to the letter. It should be on their website. If not, get it from the office tomorrow.

You need to go through their steps and continue to escalate before anyone outside will step in.

Also, what is happening with the police? Have you followed up with them?

To clarify. When I said this was at the discretion of the Head what I meant was - as in all things - the Head has discretion whether they decide to apply policy and guidance. Headteachers are very aware of when and how they can ban someone from school premises.
They should always review the decision as bannings are seldom permanent, and this usually happens with input from the chair of governors.
Anyone not happy with the way a school conducts themselves can download the relevant complaints procedure from the school website and follow it. The exact details will vary, but whether it's a maintained school, MAT etc etc the procedures will follow very similar processes. Then at the end they tell the complainant what to do if the procedure is followed and they are still unhappy with the outcome.

I don't understand why you're giving the police a free pass for failing to keep law and order, but think the school should be doing more. Which of the school staff are you expecting to deal with violent parents, while shrugging that the trained police officers aren't protecting you?

Your anger seems so misdirected it's almost laughable.

I would be looking for a specialist solicitor and take if from there. No way would I take this lying down. You were the Good Samaritan here and deserve better treatment.

So often the complaint is that bystanders just watched and did nothing during such an altercation. Well, here we see why people are reluctant to get involved; they end up being tarred with the same brush as aggressors.

Honestly op I’d be applying for another school. It seems like trust has irrevocably broken down, and it’s now negatively impacting your dc.

I've had first hand experience of assault on school grounds. My ds has a knife pulled on him.
Our police commissioner emailed me himself to say that they give schools powers to deal with things on school grounds. And because they didn't press charges - as you say - it didn't happen. Also an academy and they used this to then say my son had made it up

I would
A) email school admin office and ask them to send you a copy of their complaints procedure. Simple and effective as they will know you intend to take this further.
B) email your LADO at LA. Tell them you intervened in a fight because a child and adult were at risk and got seriously assaulted yourself. But the school have punished you and your son affected both your well-being and that you have serious concerns about their ability to safeguard pupils because their actions show they cannot effectively deal with situations incoming serious assault.

At the meeting state you don't want to discuss the matter as it's going to investigated by proper channels but that if it happened again you wouldn't intervene and would simply dial 999 or report to office to call them.
Do not argue as it gives them ammunition. However if they ban you from premises for a further period state clearly you will be taking it even further than.

Record the meeting. It is legal to do this for your own record of what was discussed.

So often the complaint is that bystanders just watched and did nothing during such an altercation. Well, here we see why people are reluctant to get involved; they end up being tarred with the same brush as aggressors.

You’re assuming the only sensible course of action was what the OP says she did - approached the fighting parents, shouted at them to calm down and then ended up in a fight herself.

She could have altered the school staff, even with the “five-minute walk” to the school office that that would have entailed.

email school admin office and ask them to send you a copy of their complaints procedure. Simple and effective as they will know you intend to take this further.

Or they may just wonder why the OP hasn’t looked at the policy on the school website.

email your LADO at LA.

The LADO deals with allegations of wrongdoing by staff against pupils. They won’t get involved with a school banning a parent from the school grounds for fighting.