Being prayed for

[BuckingFrolics]

I'm an atheist and my DM knows this - indeed she and my DF raised me as one. She "found god" when my DF left in my early teens

She says she prays for me.

AIBU to tell her to stop, as I find it offensive?

“But why would an atheist use the bible to support their argument, surely even someone as contrary as you can see the inconsistency of that @Bertram?”
Not inconsistent at all. If Christians say things that are contradicted by the Bible then it seems fair to point out the appropriate reference.

“aka read this stuff, it doesn't make sense, how can sane people conclude there is any truth in it?“

Lots of it makes lots of sense.

When someone tells you they are praying for you they are being passive aggressive. Its all part of the Christian privilege that has to be challenged.

This actually makes me feel terribly sad that someone thinks this way. Praying for good for someone is now seen as a passively aggressive act. I pray out of love. I speak to He who loves me. Sometimes God says 'Yes', 'No' or 'Wait'. He can see the truth of my heart in my prayers so there would be no point in trying to score points.

How do you know I (along with many other Christians) don't pray for someone and are also active by taking concrete action to help that person? Why are you stereotyping all Christians to fit in your narrative? Have you asked every Christian what they mean when they pray for someone?

So you are saying your MIL worries you are incapable of being responsible for your own happiness and she needs to intervene to sort it out for you? Typical MIL, needs challenging

Wow. You certainly have an "interesting" perspective on things.

“Praying for good for someone is now seen as a passively aggressive act” No it isn’t. Telling someone you know to be an atheist is. A very different matter.

But - to my point - a friend who is religious prayed for my son - as I said before that was her way of thinking of him in the most meaningful way she thought possible. He is an atheist - but she did it quietly & he appreciated her thoughts.

It is possible to take other people's feelings and beliefs into account - both ways round.

Where I do agree with posters is that understanding others' beliefs , even if you do not hold them yourself is a good thing. And learning about religions is a good thing. DS ( atheist) did Theology & Philosophy at A Level ( different boards will call it different things - but basically RE in old money . ) I think it is hugely good to learn about the bible and other religions. ( Even if you do not agree with it - but fantastically helpful in getting cultural , literary references ) Motherhood and apple pie anyone

I think if you are praying in good faith and the reason for telling them is to show that you care (alongside actively doing good things for them), it is not being passively aggressive and majority of the replies definenlty don't seem to see it as such. In a healthy relationship, it is an additonal sign of love.

Emotionally manipulating someone to go to church or forcing them to pray with you etc. is definitely a crossed line. Telling someone that they are, for example, 'praying the gay away' to a same-sex couple is obviously a very rude thing to say.

I think it comes down to a bit of common sense and an understanding of your relationship with that person.

What I am arguing against is the stereotypes that a previous poster has put up.

additonal sign of love.
Meant to say - additional communication of love to that person.

“I think it comes down to a bit of common sense and an understanding of your relationship with that person.“
And that includes not praying for someone who doesn’t want to be prayed for!

I don't think prayer is necessarily passive aggressive.

I think that to pray for someone who has asked you not to is disrespectful at best, and depending on the person praying, it can be a passive aggressive act.

Some atheists are happy to be prayed for. Some are not.

To any anyone that would, if someone asks you not to pray for them, then why would you ignore their wishes? I don't get it. It looks like you actually don't care for their feelings at all, and think that your feelings trumps theirs.

And that includes not praying for someone who doesn’t want to be prayed for!

Now you are talking about putting limits on what I pray about ( and not the previous debate about talking about prayers).

Simply put, who and what I pray for is entirely my decision. That isn't a decision to be made by anyone but myself.

You see - if some one asked not to be prayed for - don't do it . If someone prays for you & you take it as a sign of them caring ( rubbish word , not sure how to express it better ) in their own way - then I think it is OK.

Simply put, who and what I pray for is entirely my decision. That isn't a decision to be made by anyone but myself

So it's a selfish decision. That makes sense, in the light of not taking someone else's feelings into account.

Or if it's not selfish, it's certainly arrogant.

I think it rather more selfish to feel entitled to dictate what a person of faith talks about in private to their God. God already knows what is in my heart and mind anyway. I'm sure He would know if I was praying in an attempt to 'get one up' on that atheist next door.

I agree that to tell a known militant atheist that you are praying for them would be inflammatory and rude.

Simply put, who and what I pray for is entirely my decision. That isn't a decision to be made by anyone but myself

I can see that - just keep it to yourself - it is your thing - not the other person's. But if someone has actually asked you not to do it - would you not think about that. It is your choice - but I would keep very quiet. No-one can tell you who you can pray for. But silence is oft golden ( in the words of the Tremeloes - how old am I ? )

@BasiliskStare

See message above.

“I agree that to tell a known militant atheist that you are praying for them would be inflammatory and rude.“

What about just an ordinary everyday atheist who has politely asked you not to?

What about just an ordinary everyday atheist who has politely asked you not to?

I still don't get why it bothers you so much.

There's a difference in talking about someone and praying for them.

Praying for them indicates a sense that you think your interference may somehow positively affect their life - when they have asked you not to.

If someone asked you not to talk about them with an individual that they felt didn't do anything to positively impact their life, would you disrespect that request too?

I still don't get why it bothers you so much

Does it matter why someone doesn't want you to do something? Surely if someone asks you not to do something for them, that should be enough?

I’m an atheist but I wouldn’t tell someone not to pray for me, if that’s what they wish to do. They wouldn’t tell me not to believe in God would they? If praying gives someone comfort then who are we to tell them otherwise.

Sorry - ‘to believe in god’

I think it rather more selfish to feel entitled to dictate what a person of faith talks about in private to their God

I don't think anyone is saying that they should be able to tell you what to talk about with your god. Only that you don't pray on their behalf, should they ask you not to. Everything else, go right ahead.

They wouldn’t tell me not to believe in God would they

They wouldn't have to. You are an atheist. Am I missing something?