Being prayed for

[BuckingFrolics]

I'm an atheist and my DM knows this - indeed she and my DF raised me as one. She "found god" when my DF left in my early teens

She says she prays for me.

AIBU to tell her to stop, as I find it offensive?

“I still don't get why it bothers you so much.”

It doesn’t bother me “so much”. I’d just prefer if it didn’t happen. Nothing I say would make you understand why. So I think you just have to accept and not do it if someone asks you not to.

I am not religious however I don’t mind/care if my mum prays for me. I suppose it’s a comfort like many other aspects of religion.

I have however requested that she stop asking the rest of the congregation to pray for me too. I’m a very private person and was horrified people I don’t know and have never met knew about my personal issues.

Does it matter why someone doesn't want you to do something?

It doesn't matter, no. I'm just curious. This is a discussion forum. Nothing anyone asks another person really matters!

It doesn’t bother me “so much”. I’d just prefer if it didn’t happen. Nothing I say would make you understand why. So I think you just have to accept and not do it if someone asks you not to

I'm an atheist so it's not something I'll ever have to worry about. I was just curious because it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

I don’t think anyone is saying that they should be able to tell you what to talk about with your god. Only that you don’t pray on their behalf.

Those two sentences seem quite contradictory to me. Like much else easily offended atheists have posted on this thread.

But most often these days it means, "I can't actually be arsed/don't want to do anything that will actually make a difference, so this is a great way to do bugger all and still attempt to look good"

DM used to refer to it as being too heavenly minded to be any earthly good Lot of it about IME.

I should be able to ask you not to talk about me to anyone. That includes God.

It's interesting that therapies, such as reiki, that are regarded at best as harmless by Christians, and at worst as something akin to the anti-christ have a strong ethos that you never send someone healing without express permission.

In Christianity though, anything goes it seems.

Nothing contradictory. Asking you not to do something is very different to telling you what to do. Test that with children.

'don't draw on the walls' isn't the same as 'draw on the door' ;)

But he doesn’t exist, does he?

No, he does not exist. But I am too polite to say to someone that I don’t want to be drawn into their fantasies, so I will just ask them not to pray for me.

Ah you see , I think if someone believes in God I think they should be allowed to pray / speak. Because if he does not exist it doesn't matter does it. Not out loud with the whole church , but in private. To me it is just a way of someone who does find it important thinking in the most significant way they can can. And that is their way of saying the best they can. For which I would be grateful

I think it rather more selfish to feel entitled to dictate what a person of faith talks about in private to their God

More selfish and entitled than being the one to open up the subject in the first place?

This has made me smile. Let me get this right - We should not pray (in private and not mentioning to anyone else) to will the good for you (in kindness and love) to God (who you don't believe exists) because it offends you. Should I not think certain thoughts as well? For an atheist who doesn't believe in God, surely I'm just talking to myself.

Seriously though, my prayers to God are private and I will pray for whatever or whoever, my heart desires to (and as previously mentioned many times, I would only mention it to someone who I know would take it as a comfort and a communication of love). By telling me that I can't pray to God about something is putting conditions on the praticise of my faith in private.

It's just not going to happen. It is redundant putting limitations on my private prayers anyway - He would know my hearts desire even if I have been censored by the Thought Police .

For me, praying for me would be like making a donation to UKIP in my name. Just such anathema to my own beliefs it would be deeply disrespectful.

“ would only mention it to someone who I know would take it as a comfort and a communication of love”

So only somebody you know really well, then?

@VoteJabot, so respect is a one way street?

Where did I say that?

I would only mention it to someone who I know would take it as a comfort and a communication of love

I don't think you can know that. Not for sure. People telling me they'd pray for me had me cringing inside. Not that it happened often TBF. I never gave them the fodder.

I like to think that I do know my close loved ones enough to understand their stance on religion and praying. They also know me enough to understand that it would be coming from a good place.

However, that wasn't the main point of my post or the latest discussion.

Actually @Jabot, you did. Unless you think telling someone what they can and can't say in their prayers is respectful. I don't.

This thread has clearly demonstrated that telling someone they are 'praying' for you against their will is an entirely selfish act.

The excuse that its ok because its only praying for love and goodness is childish. What a parent does out of love can very easily be harmful to the recipient. And what one person calls good another person finds bad. Do we really need to mention the acts religions have called good but everyone else considers abhorrent?

If you think a person needs love then why not love them, so as an adult they have the choice to accept or reject your 'love'. Why gossip about them behind their back?

Why not act and try to do good rather than doing nothing and saying you will talk about it with god?

“Unless you think telling someone what they can and can't say in their prayers is respectful. I don't.”

I can only assume you are deliberately misunderstanding. How is it remotely respectful to continue to pray for someone when you have been specifically asked not to?

To all those who want to pray but fear “offending” people, don’t stop, just pray privately, like I do. No need for them to know. But tbh, if someone specifically asks you not to, why bother. Save your prayers for someone who appreciates it.

But honestly, I’ve heard it all now. To be bothered by someone praying for you.

@Walkingdeadfangirl
The discussion around whether to tell someone that you are praying for them has already been discussed and I have reposed to most of your comment in my post after your stereotyped-filled rant a few pages back. Also, talking to God about a loved one is hardly similar to gossiping to your neighbour Sue who lives a few doors down.

@BertrandRussell

I can only assume that you are deliberately being obtuse. My private prayers are exactly that - private. I open my heart to God during these times and won't hide anything (my desires, my sorrows, my gratitude etc. are all expressed to Him). It would be pointless anyway. In the most charitable way, being open with God in my private prayers is much more important to me than someone's offense (at something they won't even know about or believe in).

To an athethist, I'm simply talking to myself. Therefore, are you arguing that my own private thoughts be censored in case they offend someone?

I’m not censoring your thoughts. I am saying that I would rather not be prayed for. I can’t stop you, of course. But I don’t understand why you think it’s OK to override my wishes. God is as real as another person to you-would you tell another person about me without permission?

I'm an atheist, my sister is not. She regularly tells me she's praying for me. I take it in the spirit it's intended, and think of it as the equivalent of someone saying ’ill be thinking of you’ or ’i’ll be wishing you luck’. Essentially is just means she's thinking of me and wishing me the best - but she's doing it through prayer. I may not be religious but I'll take any positive thoughts or love from those around me. They can't hurt after all!