Being prayed for

[BuckingFrolics]

I'm an atheist and my DM knows this - indeed she and my DF raised me as one. She "found god" when my DF left in my early teens

She says she prays for me.

AIBU to tell her to stop, as I find it offensive?

Not a belief. An instinct. Which is what you claim can be 'surprisingly correct'.

How do you, personally, judge the difference, Hush?

Sensing danger is a primal brain response to subconsciously noted cues

Yes, but does not involve evaluating objective evidence. Which do you think is most valid?

Haven't RTFT. I agree with others who have said let her get on with the praying but if it annoys you, ask her to stop talking about it.

"if something good happens for me, it's not because of my hard work, or luck, but down to her prayers. So it kind of discredits reality." If she tells you that the good things which happened to you are the result of of her prayers, you could reply that you've heard that God helps those who help themselves. She may not agree (it isn't a quote from the Bible and some Christians don't hold with it) - but it might help her to see that you deserve some credit for your successes even if she thinks God may have been involved also.

Wouldn't you go for the person who had already proven a whole host of other stuff in the world, than one that hadn't?

That would definitely be a valid choice.

I still don't get the choosing beliefs things. You either belief or you don't, surely, it's a faith thing, not a choice. I've always thought of belief as more of a feeling, and you can't choose your feelings.

So people that are christians and then become muslims or athiests or agnostics or jewish - that's not by choice? What force is it that makes them change?

so people that are christians and then become muslims or athiests or agnostics or jewish - that's not by choice? What force is it that makes them change?

Possibly, as they looked more into those religions, they connected with them, so their beliefs changed naturally as opposed to forcing them to change (choosing them). Once your beliefs regarding Christianity are up in the air, and you feel closer to Islamic beliefs, then you can make the choice to officially change religion and become accepted into your new one. But the change in beliefs is a gradual process as you think about possibilities, not a choice.

So if I read the Bible and it "spoke" to me on some spiritual level, to the point where believing in a God felt right and thinking he didn't exist felt wrong, then that's not a choice of belief. It was a choice to read the Bible, of would be a choice for me to be baptized and join the church, but the fundamental belief itself was not chosen. It naturally occured.

OK, I'll tell my former employer that she didn't choose to convert to Judaism in order to marry her husband. It's good though that you acknowledge that there is an element of choice, at least.

I don't think I can choose to believe in God, but it could happen naturally if I "connect" somehow, you would have to make the choice to open up to God/Judaism, but the belief forms naturally. So I would say your friend chose to open herself to Judaism, but the belief that formed during the process and exploration wasn't a choice.

If you had grown up as a christian, don't you think you would have chosen to leave that behind?

In my experience, some people choose to stay within the christian church due to the sense of community and belonging and not knowing how life is without that.

I definitely think they are choosing Christianity.

choose to stay within the christian church due to the sense of community and belonging and not knowing how life is without that. So that's a choice to belong to the church and the community, is it a choice of belief? Couldn't you lose your belief in the Christian God , yet choose to stay within the Church for community?

For example, I could convert to a different religion to say marry someone as in your example, but would that equate to me personally believing in that religion/that God? Maybe I would choose to convert for the marriage, which would open me up to exploring that religion, but whether I feel a personal connection spiritually with their God and therefore genuinely believe... how can you choose that?

I think you can choose that.

In the same way that, for example, arranged marriages can work because they both choose to make it work, and the love comes later.

Choosing it, and working at it makes it so.

I can see where you're coming from. My take on the arranged marriage example would be they chose to try and make it work, they chose to stay etc, but they didn't choose to love them, that naturally developed out of their previous choices.

Because equally, they could have made the choice to stay and try and make it work out, but the love might have never developed. That's why I think you can't choose to love either.

How do you, personally, judge the difference, Hush?

Instinct is innate but intuition is probably closer to the mark in the context we're discussing. Belief is a reaction to learned material.

Yes, but does not involve evaluating objective evidence. Which do you think is most valid?

Not sure what you're getting at here. The objective evidence is evaluated and processed subconsciously.

I can totally agree with that Bastien. I also think that there may well be people that chose to stay and convince themselves of their (belief /love) because its the easier /better option for them at that time, but they may not be being true to themselves.

birdflyinghigh
So it would seem I am right, you were indoctrinated into a religious faith from birth and as an adult surround yourself with like minded people who will reinforce your confirmation bias. Which means your religious views are purely a function of where (& when) you were born and therefore no choice, in this matter, was ever exercised by yourself.

As a consequence you have to take the stance on here that their is no such thing as facts to avoid the cognitive dissonance that the actual evaluation of evidenced facts leading to knowledge would cause.

Which explains why you think its ok for people to be prayed for without their permission.

So it would seem I am right, you were indoctrinated into a religious faith from birth and as an adult surround yourself with like minded people who will reinforce your confirmation bias.

Wrong. My mother was a lapsed Catholic who turned to witchcraft later in life. My father an atheist for a time although he says he is Christian now. They only took me to church services for Christenings, funerals and weddings.

Although my mother did take Communion at a Catholic funeral after she had started practicing witchcraft.

So my parents didn't really indoctrinate me or surround me with very strictly religious people.

avoid the cognitive dissonance

I don't avoid cognitive dissonance. Rather, I see it as a necessary state to exist in whilst the further understanding is sought which reconciles how apparently contradictory concepts can fit into the bigger picture of how the world around us operates.

Instinct is innate but intuition is probably closer to the mark in the context we're discussing. Belief is a reaction to learned material.

How do you, personally, discern which is which in yourself and others Hush?

The objective evidence is evaluated and processed subconsciously.

How do you know? With the process being subconscious. What is thought to be an instinctive choice could be the result of subconscious bias.