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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think comfort nursing isn't weird, even when you have no milk?

90 replies

BatmansBoxers · 22/04/2019 07:52

I've posted about my daughter before, she's been very ill and currently receives most of her food through an NG tube due to having severe bronchiolitis. I did breastfeed initially but didn't make much milk and so stopped at 10 weeks.

Since having her NG, she wants to nurse. She can take some orally and I don't make lots of milk any more, so I let her comfort nurse. She won't take a dummy and it soothes her.

I mentioned this casually (because i was taking her off to bf) that I've restarted breastfeeding mainly for comfort and a relative commented that it's weird that I let her do this when she's only getting minimal milk. It actually really upset me, because she's been through a lot and if this is something I can do to comfort her then I am happy to do it. I wish I'd just said I was changing her happy or something now.

AIBU to think this is fine or is it in fact, weird? My entire family bottle fed.

OP posts:
UserName31456789 · 22/04/2019 07:54

I don't think it's weird. I know with both of mine a lot of the time they were just comfort nursing and that was fine with me. I don't regret that bonding time at all.

ethelfleda · 22/04/2019 07:54

Of course it’s not weird if it is what she needs! How old is she out of curiosity?

So sick of reading about people’s relatives trying to undermine breastfeeding women with their insane comments.

SushiGo · 22/04/2019 07:55

I'm guessing she's still quite a young baby to have had bronchiolitis badly?

No I don't think it's weird, I hope she recovers well soon.

ethelfleda · 22/04/2019 07:55

DS is 18months and still feeds a lot. I know he doesn’t need it for food or nutrition and I have absolutely no idea how much milk he actually gets. But he needs the comfort as a toddler going through and experiencing emotions

BertieBotts · 22/04/2019 07:56

People do think it's weird, but of course it's not. It's an instinctive mothering behaviour. Ignore them.

Original poster
BatmansBoxers · 22/04/2019 07:57

She's nearly 6 months but was a bit early and had a nasty birth. She has been in hospital for a month with bronchiolitis and pneumonia, I hated it and now she's home I think if she wants to nurse then it's such a small thing but will bring her comfort then I am happy to do it. But I now feel a bit judged.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/04/2019 07:58

If she’s 4 months that’s fine, if she’s 4 years that’s a bit weird. Mine only ever really nursed for comfort, I mix fed as I never produced much milk. Dummies are just substitute nipples. Nothing wrong with you offering a real one. If you and baby are happy then all is well.

Bringbackbertha · 22/04/2019 08:01

Reminds me of a scene on Tarzan (the new movie) Tarzan as a young boy... imagine about 5 by the size of him, was chased and beaten by the alpha Male gorilla, the mother gorilla who looked after him picked him up and started nursing him.

If you believe in that type of evolution then we are very similar to apes, so I think this is natural, it provides comfort to child when they need it.

Why do people think women develop boobs... for adult pleasure only?

Cornettoninja · 22/04/2019 08:03

Yanbu. Honestly six months seems to be the cut off for bf being socially acceptable ime. I found that was the point people started raising an eyebrow sadly.

Carry on doing what you need to and try not let others opinions play on your mind.

Silvercatowner · 22/04/2019 08:03

It's lovely, OP - well done.

BeanBag7 · 22/04/2019 08:04

My DD is 2 and often wants to nurse if she falls over or hurts herself or is scared. I dont think falling over makes her suddenly hungry! Nursing for comfort is totally normal, especially for such a young baby, so if its something you want to do then you should.

Nameusernameuser · 22/04/2019 08:07

She's still tiny I think it's absolutely fine. Your milk might come back in though.
My son is 18 months, haven't breastfed his for 9 or 10 months. In bed a few weeks ago he tried to bloody feed so they definitely try for comfort too.

Madmarchpear · 22/04/2019 08:10

My dd is still going at nearly 4. Our bond is so linked to the act so refusing her before she's ready seems cruel.

Waitingforinspo · 22/04/2019 08:11

Definitely not weird.

danahnahnahnah · 22/04/2019 08:11

Breastfeeding has so many purposes besides basic nutrition. I think it's great you can offer her this. She is likely to stimulate you to produce more milk too which is also a good thing.

Ignore anyone else's opinion on parenting in general! Someone will always disagree. You're doing the best thing by your daughter.

Queenfreak · 22/04/2019 08:12

My 2 year old had a tummy bug this past week and was latched on for an entire day. Judging by her nappies she didn't take much milk at all.
Boob is her comfort and happy place. Many think 2 is unacceptable, but 6 months is still so tiny. Keep doing what you are doing- and I suspect shes actually built your supply up quite a bit if shes been feeding for a month.

Rach000 · 22/04/2019 08:13

You are doing the right thing. If it helps comfort her then that's great and if she only gets a little milk that also a bonus. I would ignore the relative.

Hiphopopotamous · 22/04/2019 08:15

The rest of my family and DHs were all bottle feeders, I just don't think people get it - but why would they, they've never needed to know, they can't put an empty bottle in a babies mouth 🤷🏻‍♀️

Teacakeandalatte · 22/04/2019 08:17

Sounds like you have a little milk? And by Bfing you will increase your supply. Even if its only a small amount it can still have health benefits.

CloserIAm2Fine · 22/04/2019 08:19

YANBU, she’s so tiny and has been through so much, any comfort that you can give us good!

mammmamia · 22/04/2019 08:20

Gosh it’s fine don’t worry. I have twins and always used to stick one of them on at about 9 months while bouncing the other in a bouncy chair in order to get them to nap at the same time. No idea why this routine but seemed to work for them at that stage and you do what you have to do and what feels right!

Original poster
BatmansBoxers · 22/04/2019 08:21

Yes I have very small amounts of milk. I tend to let her feed when she is tired or upset and it settles her and she seems happy when doing it. Thank you everyone, her being ill knocked my confidence in general

OP posts:
Doobydoodah · 22/04/2019 08:26

Definitely keep doing it if you're both happy. 6 months is nothing. For a baby who has breastfed, the boob is the ultimate comfort.

If you have any milk at all, nursing will likely increase your supply.

We are so screwed up when it comes to breastfeeding. Nature provides the ultimate in nursing comfort and it is deemed 'weird'. Put a manufactured teat of plastic and rubber, that is specifically designed to mimic a nipple, into a baby's mouth and that's fine. Lovely. But we mustn't use the original, nature made, available at all times version Hmm grrr!

MrsMozartMkII · 22/04/2019 08:27

You're doing a grand job lass, giving your daughter the comfort she needs. You don't need some bonkers relative's approval.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 22/04/2019 08:29

It's a lovely thing you're doing. It's a very natural way for her to get comfort, and also medically a good idea as even with just a little milk she'll be taking in some of your antibodies which might protect her against getting future colds.

I come from a bottle feeding family and do understand the feeling of judgement - I ended up feed 3 of my 4 past a year, and people still make jokes about it Hmm But they were happy and so was I, just like you and your dd. Hope she feels better soon!