To smoke in my own garden

[LittleBear4]

I am a smoker. I smoke 10 fags a day and I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day!).

In smoke in my garden, I've got two neighbours either side and one every time I'm smoking will come out and say 'it stinks out here' and will start to cough loudly.

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

Maybe they should do tit for tat and discover a love of loud music at night outdoors.

Perhaps she won't mind. Some are not bothered by loud music. My neighbour practises guitar and has friends in and they all play. It's not my kids' preferred style of music but they don't mind, they're actually pretty good. I was once out, singing a bit and drinking alcohol and they asked me in to sing with them. Place reeked of skunk weed but well, it was a good night.

And not trance music at 4am, uggh!

Or that damn motorbike everyone around here is on, revving away.

Silly me...how could I have forgotten those important rules.

Mumsnet revised list of garden rules:

No trampolines
No children/teens who make noise
No music
No climbing frames higher than 2 feet tall
No feeding foxes
No barking dogs
Control your cats toilet habits
No smoking
No hot tubs
Get neighbours approval before carrying out any activities such as gardening, BBQs or DIY
Wear appropriate clothing

As so many have said, YANBU to smoke in your garden, but YABVU to expect your neighbours to be ok with your smoke drifting in to theirs and they are NBU to comment on unpleasant smells in their garden.

There are so many other things you could do to take your mind of things, if it has to involve nicotine then vape.

I just went outside for a cig and my neighbour was outside and started coughing, not in a PA way, he's a lovely man.
I couldn't see him but moved round the side of the house away from him.
I do think if people do have somewhere else to smoke they should.
I didn't know he was out tbh, I'd have gone down wind had I known.

Their comments are intruding and annoying.

So is your smoke.

You are even Stevens.

I smoke outside in the garden and don't really care what the neighbours say. I don't think having a ciggie ouside would really impact badly into someone’s house.

Yep, that’s why there are regularly posts on MN from people whose neighbour’s smoke is going into their homes. Because it isn’t an issue.

Glad I don’t live next door to you.

Their comments are intruding and annoying.

So is your smoke.

You are even Stevens.

I didn’t know annoying comments stank to high heaven, caused lung disease and cancer and polluted the atmosphere...

Smoke where you want but people are free to comment if they want. I'm completely in agreement with your neighbour. It stinks.

I know this wasn’t your question, and you’ve addressed the ‘why you don’t want to quit yet’ issue. However, as a MN friend, I am going to beg you to try to quit. I’ve just passed my one year clear of cancer. I spent 6 months in chemo and it is NOT pretty. Yes, it is sometimes curable, but I have sat through chemo being pumped into my veins for 48 hours every two weeks. I’ve listened to other people screaming in pain, because it hurts them so much to even be touched (luckily, not in my case). Chemo makes you feel horrible, ordinary smells can make you sick to your stomache, almost every flavour is altered, not only tasting disgusting, but feeling like you’ve got sand in your mouth. Nausea for months on end, exhaustion like I’ve never felt before. Sores in my mouth - so painful I could hardly swallow because if my tooth touched the side of my tongue, it hurt so much it brought tears to my eyes. Please, please, please, to anyone who smokes, please do everything in your power to quit. Although I had a good prognosis, and so far, I’m clear, you can’t imagine how scary it is to first hear you have cancer.

I won't go into detail but I've been through trauma that I had no control over and has affected me. I started smoking after that, stupidly I know but it made me think about something else rather than consume my thoughts with what I went through. I hope one day I'll be strong enough to give it up, I'm just not ready to face it yet.

None of this makes any difference. The fact is that your smoking is antisocial and unpleasant and it's spoiling someone else's enjoyment of their own home. Your smoke is continually invading their private space and it's irritating as fuck. Do whatever you need to do, but do it in a place where you don't bother anyone else. Walk up and down the street.

My NDNs smoke weed. They should count themselves lucky

Oh ffs have a fag in your garden, the smell lasts minutes then is gone!! Them complaining in their “own garden” isn’t the same. They are purposefully making snide comments to piss OP off. OP is not intentionally pissing anyone off- not comparable.

Snarky comments last an even shorter time. Them complaining is absolutely comparable. Intentionally or not, the stink of cigarettes pisses people off.

Ellen I was answering a posters question not contributing to the thread.

I had a neighbour like this. Bastard. If you houses are close together and your gardens are small you eother contain your smoke inside where it won’t end up making someone else garden and/house stink or you move somewhere you can smoke without ruining someone else’s enjoyment of their property. You are being extremely selfish.

I have a neighbour in the ground floor flat directly below me who sits outside in the communal garden area right below my window and her smoke drifts straight up and into my living room. As soon as I smell it I jump at and slam the window shut and she always looks up.

I know she knows why I'm doing it, but does she walk around a bit to stop it happening? Does she fuck. She sits there on her little table and chair outside her own flat, with the attitude that its her flat so she's entitled to do as she likes, knowing damn well that her smoke is going directly into my open window above, and she doesn't give a shit.

It's just fucking rude.

Couldn’t you get a little hut OP?

My neighbours boyfriend smokes in the garden when he’s there. He’s a nice guy and I don’t begrudge him the odd cigarette to unwind if that’s what he likes but it does frustrate me when the baby is napping in the pushchair or we’re playing outside. We have the back door open a lot in warmer weather and the smell creeps in too! Like I say, it’s his choice and I’d never be rude to him about it but I don’t love it. Then again they put up with DS crying in the garden (he usually naps in the pushchair and sometimes has a bit of a fuss as he goes down or when he wakes up) and our chickens making a racket so it’s give and take.

To be fair, the health risks from secondhand smoke in a garden must be tiny.

It still stinks though.

If I were your ndn I literally couldn't care a less why you were smoking, your excuses are your issue. I would, however, hate living next to you. You can clearly see from the percentage of responses that YABU but if course it won't change a thing. Because you think your more important than those around you.
Also FYI you're still damaging your kids health by smoking regardless of whether you do it in the garden or not. Stop being selfish.

Your garden is your castle. Do as you wish.

It stinks and you're impacting on others wanting to enjoy their outside space. Why exactly is it you want to smoke??

My neighbour smokes in their garden and my garden then stinks. The smoke also drifts into my kitchen if the wondow is open. It's vile. I know she can do what she wants in her own garden but why does her nicotine addiction have to impact on my life?

So, with a majority YABU, what are you going to do?

You are entitled to smoke in your garden but I can understand it's unpleasant for your neighbours.

Why go outside to smoke? Presumably because you don’t want the smoke affecting your inside space or other people who live with you. Which means you go outside for selfish reasons; don’t want your own environment to be contaminated, but it’s okay to contaminate other people’s environment.