Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if your mixed sex children have a good relationship?

88 replies

RoseGoldEagle · 20/04/2019 16:40

I have a 2 year old DD and have just given birth to a baby boy. I am really close to my sisters, and they both have only girls, and for some reason I assumed this baby would be a girl (which I know is completely irrational!), and to be honest my initial feeling (which I now feel horribly guilty about) was a tiny bit of disappointment that he was a boy and that DD won’t have that sister relationship. I know that’s awful and I hate that I felt that initially, am obviously so grateful to have two healthy children. Does anyone have a DD and DS with a couple of years gap and what kind of relationship do they have? I realise there’s no guarantees two girls would have got on and everyone is different but would just really appreciate anyone’s experiences. Please go easy on me, I already feel so awful about that initial feeling ☹️

OP posts:
edwinbear · 20/04/2019 18:47

Older DS, younger DD, 2 yr age gap. I also had a sister and craved that sister relationship for my DC. We didn’t have boys in the family at all so it was all very new and I’m happy to admit I also didn’t consider I might have a boy. They fight ALOT but absolutely adore each other. He is protective of her, she idolises him, it’s really quite beautiful.

ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 20/04/2019 18:52

I agree that it’s personality, not sex that matters.

Maybe age difference matters when they are younger? But it ultimately comes down to personalities.

MeganChips · 20/04/2019 18:52

I have a DD of 15 and a DS of 12. They get on really well, they obviously have their squabbles but they genuinely like each other.

I have 2 brothers both younger than me. Oldest DB and I fought like cat and dog growing up but are much closer now and get on really well. He’s my partner in crime at family gatherings! My other brother I don’t have as much to do with but that’s mainly personality. We dont dislike each other, just have very little in common.

Congratulations!

Groovee · 20/04/2019 18:54

My 2 are 2 years 9 months apart and now late teens. They are quite close and often FaceTime when Dd is at uni. You can often find them chatting away to each other at nights.

They have had their spats but do get on well.

BackforGood · 20/04/2019 18:54

I have 1 ds and 2 dds.
As adults they all get on really well.
As children they bickered and fought each other - though would protect one another from anyone outside the family if ever needed to, and look out for one another when it mattered.
No difference between the 2 dds and the relationship between ds and either of his dsis's.

Neolara · 20/04/2019 18:57

I have girl, boy, girl. They all get on fantastically well. The eldest two I think enjoy each others company more than anyone else's and always have done. They are teens and tweens.

pinkhousesarebest · 20/04/2019 18:59

One we're close as young children but inexplicably barely talk to each other now as teens, which upsets me greatly. There is 11 years between my little fb and I and I am closer to him than to any family member.

Canshopwillshop · 20/04/2019 19:01

I’ve got the same as you OP - older DD with a 25 month age gap between her and DS. They were the best of friends when they were little and such good company for each other. They are still close at 14 and 12 but DD finds him a bit annoying to her and her friends at times. When their friends are not around they still get on really well and DD is fiercely protective of her brother.

Andonandonan · 20/04/2019 19:30

Oh yes - my dd is 6 & ds 5 and they are absolutely each other’s best friends and keenest supporters.

My own DB & I have a similar relationship - we were really close growing up, had shared friends etc and are still very close as adults.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 20/04/2019 19:44

18 months between dd 11 and ds 9. They're very close. Spend a lot of time together and do same hobbies and clubs. They both play instruments and I love hearing them jam together ❤️
They bicker sometimes but nothing major. I hope they are always close.

AnyFarrahFowler · 20/04/2019 19:45

Congratulations OP.
I’m 18 months older than my brother and we’re really close. We bickered as children but became really good mates when we were late teens and have been ever since. He’s genuinely the funniest person I know.

My children are the other way round, so DS came first, then DD, but they’re very sweet together. If anyone gives DS something - a biscuit or whatever - he always asks if his sister can have one too. And DD looks at her brother with so much love in her eyes, and just wants to do whatever he’s doing.
I was overjoyed when I found out I was having DD - not because I’d have “one of each” but because I knew how lovely a brother/sister relationship could be.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 20/04/2019 19:50

Nope, mine fought like cat and dog when younger, only now at 25 and 22 are they tolerant and will actually contact each other about things.

We always holiday together once a year and they start with good intentions but ending up winding each other up by the end.

I agree with the personality bit but no perfect parenting in the world would have made mine best friends. Believe me I have tried for years.

archivearmadillo · 20/04/2019 20:12

MaybeitsMaybelline you definitely can't make siblings best friends through perfect parenting, I didn't mean that! I meant that parents can definitely make sibling relationships worse by expecting one (usually the older, but it can also be a boy girl thing) to be endlessly kind and forgiving and give up all privacy to keep the other (usually younger) happy and essentially to make life easier for the parents. Obviously this goes for other kinds of favouritism too.

Nobody's perfect but there are a few things some parents do which really make sibling relationships worse.

Personality is the main determinant though!

Aria2015 · 20/04/2019 20:17

There's two years between me and my brother and he's one of my most favourite people in the whole world. Like most siblings, we played and fought in equal measure growing up, but as adults we’re super close.

pastaparadise · 20/04/2019 20:28

congratulations! Flowers

I have a brother 2 years older than me and we were always close, still are as adults although we live hours apart. I always liked having a brother, felt it helped me feel more natural and confidant around males. I think we are quite alike in personality. It made me want boy then girl

I have two sons. Still young but chalk and cheese personality wise, and don't get on very well so far. I think same sex and close in age maybe have more to compete about (who's stronger, faster, better looking etc) so I worry whether they'll get on.

Original poster
RoseGoldEagle · 20/04/2019 22:09

Thank you for all the lovely responses! I love reading these, I just seem to know so few brother/sister relationships in real life that it just seems an unknown to me, so really lovely to read these! Some made me cry, in a good way (DS is only 10 days old so blaming the hormones there!), thank you!!

OP posts:
Constance1234 · 20/04/2019 22:09

I'm 19 months older than my brother, and we've always been close. He is one of my favourite people in the world, and a wonderful uncle to my DC :)

Isadora2007 · 20/04/2019 22:13

I have boy girl and then girl boy both have three years between them. The elder two got on fab and always have done- they shared a room through choice for years for example...and as pretty much adults now they still get on well.
The younger two also get along well- less so now at 9 and 6 than as little ones. But they are still close.

HairyToity · 20/04/2019 22:19

I have a younger brother who I adore and am very close to. I have a daughter and son, and they play brilliantly with each other, and love each other.

HairyToity · 20/04/2019 22:20

I don't have a sister, so what you don't have you don't miss.

Ihatehashtags · 21/04/2019 08:06

Three years apart. 7 DD and 4DS, they adore each other and always have. Barely any fighting and are always so lovely to each other. Way better behaved and closer than my brothers and I.

Phineyj · 21/04/2019 08:23

I agree with posters who've said personality is more relevant than gender. I also think parents can do a lot to help the sibling relationship along. My DP had no idea what they were doing in that regard. There are lots of good books like Siblings without Rivalry. Don't underestimate your role!

Pk37 · 21/04/2019 08:36

My ds is 18 and my dd is 8 and they get on really well .
He does like to wind her up though and she likes to hassle him to play Roblox when he’s home from uni

MaMaMaMySharona · 21/04/2019 08:49

It’s not so much dependent on their gender, but more their personalities. I got on so well with my brother growing up, we worked together for a bit and had so much fun together.

Now we’re older (32 and nearly 35), we barely speak to each other...

Fivefootoffun · 25/04/2019 22:46

Thanks for the post OP. I’m due DC2 in August and it’s a boy - we already have a girl (25 months). I really thought it was another girl and would have loved her to have a sister. I have only one brother myself and we’ve never been close nor played together well so all these posts on positive stories have given me hope.

Best of luck with your new arrival!

Swipe left for the next trending thread