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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel overwhelmed?

69 replies

mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:04

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I feel so emotional and teary that I just burst out crying Confused

DP's brother has turned up at our house again, he's here all the time, expects to be fed at lunch and teatime and then dropped off by me late at night. I already don't have much petrol or money until next week to fill up the car which was fine as I wasn't planning to go anywhere anyway as I'm feeling so shit and tired. DP's brother lives about a 15 minute drive away and to be honest I can't be arsed dropping him off.

Boyfriends mum is also coming tomorrow in the afternoon and often stays well into the night. Usually I get on with her but she talks a hell of a lot, helps herself to endless amounts of coffee and uses a ton of milk and then leaves.

I'm just not in the mood for visitors or socialising - haven't even seen my own family for a few days.

I feel like I'm being stupid and pathetic but I just needed to let it off my chest Sad

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:06

You’re not stupid or pathetic. You’re growing a human fucking being and that takes a huge toll on your body.

You should be resting not playing host to all and bloody sundry.

CakeFlowers

HollowTalk · 19/04/2019 14:06

Tell your boyfriend's mum that you've run out of milk and can she bring a bottle.

Tell your boyfriend's brother that he'll have to find his own way home because you've got no petrol and no money. Tell him he'll have to get a takeaway as you don't have money for his food as well as your own.

And tell your partner to grow a pair and deal with his family!

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:07

@Sexnotgender thank you Thanks

I want to tell DP how I feel but I don't want to sound like a bitch.. I think I also feel emotional because it's the last week before my induction. Ugh so many feelings Sad

OP posts:
AnnieMay100 · 19/04/2019 14:08

I don’t blame you I think they’re being very cheeky. Can’t your dp speak to them and stop this? He should be sticking up for you and saying enough is enough. Stop letting them in/dropping them home and say you’re preparing for the baby and want to be left alone now, you’ll be in touch when baby arrives. If you let it carry on they will still turn up when baby is here so make your feelings known now it’s your house so your rules.

IvanaPee · 19/04/2019 14:08

Don’t drive them home? If he has to walk he’ll come less.

My neighbour’s sister is in her house Every. Single. Day.

That would drive me potty and I love my sisters! If it was DH’s family, I’d move out.

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:08

@HollowTalk Seriously considering telling DP that I won't be dropping him off tonight and not to assume that I'll be giving him a lift. I just don't agree with it at all and think he should ask me first.

DP is generous and think it's fine when his DB comes and eats like a fucking vulture Angry

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:09

I have an 11 week old baby lying on me right now. I remember the exhaustion all too well! I went to 42 weeks thoughConfused

Rest, put your feet up. If you’re being induced next week then take this week easy and get as much relaxation as you can.

IvanaPee · 19/04/2019 14:10

Yeah but why isn’t he the one driving him home?

If I were you I’d say I felt sick and tired 👀👀 and you’re going to bed. At like 5/6pm.

Feign sleep if they come looking!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:10

I honestly thought I was being U but reading these replies I know I'm not.

My DM also said it will get worse once baby arrives. My family have respect and ask me how I'm feeling first before bloody showing up expecting to be fed and dropped back off at home

OP posts:
Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:10

Forgot to mention DP doesn't drive so he can't take him home

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:11

You’re not being even slightly unreasonable!

Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:12

You’re DP doesn’t even drive! How nice that he’s so generous with your time Angry

GooodMythicalMorning · 19/04/2019 14:13

You are so not U. I'd say that you're unwell and need to take it easy so won't be giving lifts and that you can't afford takeaways etc with the baby coming so soon. If they dont understand that then they can't come.

IvanaPee · 19/04/2019 14:13

Well then it’s very easy for him to be generous with your time, your car, and your petrol.

Honestly - don’t do the lift today. Seriously don’t. You’ll feel awkward and uncomfortable but hide upstairs being “sick” or asleep if you can’t face telling him to fuck off.

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:13

Honestly feel like a twat for sitting here crying over this! Sad

OP posts:
checkingforballoons · 19/04/2019 14:14

Definitely NBU! Can your DP not give them both a ring and explain that you’re wiped and need a couple of days to yourself to rest?

VladmirsPoutine · 19/04/2019 14:15

You need to establish boundaries. You also need to tell your DP to deal with his family. It really doesn't bode well for your relationship given the impending baby if your DP can't tell his brother to piss off r.e. driving his brother home.
Horse=bolted.

Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:15

That’ll be the hormones and the tiredness and the realisation that his family don’t really give a shit about you.

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:15

I've text DP from upstairs telling him I've no petrol and I'm not well so I won't be taking his brother home. It's tough shit.

Said brother also wanted to book some days off next week so that he could spend time at our house seeing DS after he's arrived.

OP posts:
BricksInTheWall · 19/04/2019 14:16

"I'm 37 weeks pregnant, I get induced to give birth next week, I will not be spending this week running around after grown adults"

OP I know it's hard but you have to be firm here. Is he going to be expecting this when you've been up all night with a week old baby? Would your DP honestly expect this of you? Put yourself first, no one else seems to be. Full meltdown if it's needed.

Sexnotgender · 19/04/2019 14:16

Will his brother be useful or will he expect feeding and lifts?

Bambamber · 19/04/2019 14:16

Stop feeding him and stop dropping him off.

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:17

@BricksInTheWall I honestly don't know, if he does expect it then I'll lose my rag and tell him to fuck off. His family are so overbearing it's unbelievable.

OP posts:
Foxmuffin · 19/04/2019 14:17

When you’re pregnant nobody is going to argue if you say you’re going up to bed as you’re tired. Don’t be polite, do it!

Original poster
mcjx · 19/04/2019 14:18

@Sexnotgender Will expect feeding and lifts like usual when he's here. We live a good 15-20 minute drive away from him

OP posts:
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