To feel overwhelmed?

[mcjx]

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I feel so emotional and teary that I just burst out crying

DP's brother has turned up at our house again, he's here all the time, expects to be fed at lunch and teatime and then dropped off by me late at night. I already don't have much petrol or money until next week to fill up the car which was fine as I wasn't planning to go anywhere anyway as I'm feeling so shit and tired. DP's brother lives about a 15 minute drive away and to be honest I can't be arsed dropping him off.

Boyfriends mum is also coming tomorrow in the afternoon and often stays well into the night. Usually I get on with her but she talks a hell of a lot, helps herself to endless amounts of coffee and uses a ton of milk and then leaves.

I'm just not in the mood for visitors or socialising - haven't even seen my own family for a few days.

I feel like I'm being stupid and pathetic but I just needed to let it off my chest

Your DP needs to sort himself out and have your back.

You may need him to be your voice during labour too, so if he can't manage family he will not be able to advocate for you in hospital either.

Do you have a family member or friend who can be a stand in birth partner?

I really don't know how you put up with the brother there all the time quite frankly. Doesn't seem like you and Dp get much privacy. Are you cooking for them both? They do know you're not their second mum don't they? How old are you all, it seem weird behaviour from grown adults.

@Holidayshopping I know! DPs mum will lend her mums car to come up here. Thank god she doesn't expect me to pick her up and take her home.

But to be honest I'm thinking of messaging saying I don't feel up to having a visitor tomorrow. Perhaps DP could go down to her house instead if she picks him up.

@TheGodmother I'm not scared of him no. We are just opposites and he doesn't see things the way I do unless I explode at him every now and again (which I have done today). We are usually quite a laidback and relaxed couple.

My mum is really poorly at the moment with a cold so I'm staying away until she's better. She only lives 10 minutes away, so a lot closer than DPs family. I'd love to go and stay at her house for the weekend but I know DP would just accuse me of running away when it got tough.

@RChick my mum is my second birthing partner

But to be honest I'm thinking of messaging saying I don't feel up to having a visitor tomorrow. Perhaps DP could go down to her house instead if she picks him up.

Good idea-suggest it now. Does your DP work? How does he get around?

@LordNibbler we are in our 20s and nope I don't cook for them! That would really take the piss if that's what they expected. I make my own food and they make whatever they want to eat.

DPs brother eats like a small horse so will usually eat a large portion of something out of the freezer which is also annoying. Fancied chips with my tea the other night and low and behold they had used a full bag between the pair of them

but I know DP would just accuse me of running away when it got tough

Running away when it go tonight-wtf?! He doesn’t actually sound like he’s very nice to you!

@Holidayshopping Yep DP works but his work place is only a few streets away on the local business park! Which I'm glad for because I wouldn't have the energy to take him to and fro if it was a commute.

A while back he was thinking of changing jobs which is a few miles away. His mum suggested I take him and pick him up everyday with a bloody baby in tow! No chance.

@Holidayshopping I don't know if he's resentful that I have a good relationship with my mum and have somewhere to go if I need space. She's always there for me if I need her. I am very close to both my parents.

Same can't be said about his own mum, he doesn't really speak to her all that much or confide in her.

Perhaps your DP ought to be paying a bit more into the bills seeing as you seem to be catering for his brother most of the week.
And once you've had your baby you won't want the house full of visitors all the time. It's tiring and emotional and I hope for your sake your DP will be a little more supportive of you than he is atm.

@LordNibbler I have told him firmly today this will not be happening when DS arrives. I just want time alone with him and our newborn! And I don't think I'm being U for wanting that

Also want to say thank you all for being so lovely and understanding and making me realise that I wasn't being unreasonable.

It's nice to speak to people who understand ❤️

Said brother also wanted to book some days off next week so that he could spend time at our house seeing DS after he's arrived.

I hope you’ve said no to that too!

I think they made some sort of agreement between themselves that she would bring him and I would take him home!

I hope you don't mind me pointing this out, but it they make that agreement and you dont don along with it, they would try something else, wouldn't they? Instead, it sounds as if you did go along with it at first and so they looked pretty clever, didn't they

In future, just don't engage and look a bit surprised when they ask when you are taking him home.

You have s baby coming, who needs to be your priority, starting now while you are still growing it. All the best

ps you may also need to be more specific in future. Things have not to change here will only happen if you follow it up with specifics. I'm sorry, I just won't be able to drive your brother hone when the baby comes and I am too tired to do so now.

Were you worried about your DP's reaction in truth? He's not coming across great to put it mildly.

Could you talk to your DP again and set some ground rules for when the baby is here?

Ignore me, I'm a prat. I thought I'd loaded the newest messages!

Well the brother is a twat. Stop enabling it.
Can’t see the problem with his mum though. If you’re at your mums a lot and his doesn’r come often but you hate it because she stays a while and helps herself to coffee and milk?? Ffs. That’s fine. It’s his mum!
37 weeks is hell though, can understand the worry, general annoyance etc. Tell DP that you will not be feeding or driving the brother!!

There are these things called buses and taxis that his brother needs to become acquainted with.