in expecting something for tea when we go to my sil ?

[CaptainUnderpants]

Sil lives about 30 - 40 minutes drive . On birthdays etc we always get invited over ther for some 'cake ' always between 2 to 4pm . Never offered to give anything more than that i.e a few sandwiches etc etc.

It is a bit of a standing joke in the family that she is a bit tight with food. ( money not an issue ).

If I was to invite pople over for the afternoon for a birthday I would at least offer sandwiches etc espcially for the children .

So we always make a point of saying when we leave , must go now have to cook tea, as we never get it at her house !

Me and Dh have got so fed up with it over the years we never invite them over for tea anymore as it is never done at her house .

I am not expecting a full Sunday roast but surely a few nibbles and sandwiches to save us having to come home and do tea ourselves.

I am being unreasonable ?

who, me, captain?

i was agreeing with you, essentially.

I am not resentful , just pissed off like the rest of the family about her being so tight fisted .

ok, captain, there's clearly some history, here.

just thought it was a bit cynical to be suspicious of her inviting you between 2-4pm ( 'just so she doesnt have to do a spread'). i mean, why would she want to cook a meal at lunch time or supper time on her own birthday? surely most people have cake at that time on their birthday? i dont see why she had to have done this 'on purpose'.

agree that some sandwiches etc wouldve been nice, esp given your long journey.

captain you have some support on here and you don't seem to recognise it

The only history is that she is tight , all the family know that.

As said ealrier in postings , we were not expecting a full sunday roast but a few sandwices etc would have been nice espacilly for the children , we would have made do with something later at home , but the children wouldn't have lasted.

I do recognise the support , thank you

It was a waste of an afternoon when I could have cooked a lovely roast for tea

If you think that going and visiting her on her birthday is a waste of an afternoon then next time tell her you're busy and don't go. Seriously.

As I said ealrier - lighten up .

Having a moan not bitching.

Well we have decided that next time we get invited over there for who evers birthday - ( just so they make sure they get a present ) we are not goin to go . Dh has had enough of it too !

you are not going to a family occassion because of a lack of sandwiches??

yep thats sums it up we are not going to a family get togther because we never get fed , unlike when she comes to our house or any other family members when a spread is laid on .

Me and DH and the rest of the family are totally unresonable in expecting any thing like .

No my DH was in work today and came along straight from work , so no assumptions please

Well..that's okay then as long as you realise that

ok captain.

i eagerly await the 'my sil is angry with me because we never acknowledge her families birthdays ' thread

Yes i do, Mumsnet has brough me back down to earth and I am truely grateful for being made a cup of tea ( which my other SIL did ) and a slice of cake ( shop bought , not even homemade ! how dare she ! ) .

and the ' my mil has stopped speaking to me because she holds me responsible for the break up of the realtionship between dh and his sister'thread!

filch - you'll have a long wait !

It sounds like you are fed up of making an effort and see your SIL as not "pulling her weight" when it comes to events/meals. (Know how you feel BTW. My SIL never does meals for us but when they and the PILs visit us, I'm expected to provide a meal for them all. And the ILs and I hate each others guts!)

My Dh is quite capbale himslef of ruining the relationship bewteen him and his sister , she pisses him off enough .