To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

They ‘delay gratification’, are self disciplined and can forgo pleasures for other benefits. They are able to make themselves do things they do not want to do like study or work hard, save money or go without treats. They choose their goals and go for them relentlessly.

This describes DH & me to a tee but we are not ruthless as that sounds.
I love refined sugar, carbs & wine but once I made the mental decision to quit & eat more healthily it was really easy - my mind is on the end game.

Working class fatty here.
Apart from the obvious: cheap food is fattening. Poverty is stressful;
My observation is that middle class women just care more about this. Or at least they continue caring about it further into middle age.
I think their sense of social status must be tied up with it in some way.
Possibly to do with the fact that being thin can be a class marker and therefore staying thin becomes a way to keep up appearances.
Possibly to do with the expectations of higher earning men.

@noworklifebalance the women I know who are very very slim live in a very shallow world of botox and competition, it’s not an enviable life really

“Wow, very different from the slim men & women I know!”

Same. I’m considered very slim but have never used Botox or any other cosmetic treatment and am only in competition with myself to improve as a person in general.

Bitchy, spiteful comments like these are all just part of the blame misplacement. It IS envy in its most unpleasant form. It’s easier for some people to believe slim people are that way because they’re rich, upper class, vain, competitive, a pincushion etc than turn their attention to themselves and their own choices. I’ve dealt with nasty comments my whole life from people who would rather believe I’m bulimic than accept perhaps I’m slimmer than they are because I take responsibility for myself and make better food and exercise choices.

@unlimiteddilutingjuice Your comment just supports my point. You won’t be winning any feminism awards any time soon. Amazingly offensive assumptions to make. Again, the blame is on the “other”.

Possibly to do with the fact that being thin can be a class marker and therefore staying thin becomes a way to keep up appearances
How patronising! Staying slim for me has absolutely nothing to do with appearances. I don't judge people on their appearance and don't care for those who do.

The only reason why I want to be slim is for two people, myself and my oh. My OH because he finds slim women more attractive, although he loves firceho I am and wouldn't leave me if I put on weight.

Most importantly for because I find myself more attractive, physically but also mentally when I am slim. Its a lot easier to love and appreciate others when you can love and appreciate yourself for a start. Self esteem is important anf I lose mine a bit when I put on weight so I am prepared to make sacrifices to stay slim.

doksant and nolife
This was not a bitchy comment!
The women I know who are slim, are married to high earners and they are valued for their looks.
I was responding to another poster who has developed an eating disorder, and actually my post was trying to be supportive towards her.
Just because the women you know are not in this world, it doesn’t mean they and the world they live in doesn’t exist.

Someone once said to me "Even cows get fat, and they eat grass all day".

I agree that genetics definitely play a big part - hence the family with two children who eat the same foods, but one is bigger than the other - but also boredom does. My inlaws are from rural Turkey - mum has never worked outside the home and just to banish all those preconceptions, dad does pretty much all the housework - but she sits around eating all day, so dad is tall and slim and mum is short and probably would be termed morbidly obese here. Yes, everything is cooked from scratch, but nibbling on fruit and nuts all day while doing minimal exercise is also a problem.

Not sure if it's a class thing, but I have to admit having money would probably help~ I'm poor and would only eat what I could afford, if I had lots of money and wanted to lose weight I'd buy expensive pre made salads, but more importantly if I could afford a nanny (fat chance!) to help doe a few hours a day, this would have given me enough time to rest so that I could have got my shit together to be motivated enough to do exercise and eat properly rather than just getting through the day and feeling so exhausted that it was easier and nicer to eat the naughty foods.
So yes, I do think having more money can help you stay slim.

"I’m all for science. But you’ll find studies that support either side of any argument. "

Doskant - in that one study you linked to, it showed that income was the problem rather than class. It still partly backs up OP's point.
Also, one study doesn't disprove all the others.
We know that in the UK (your study was in Ireland) it's a class issue.

I wonder how many slim mums actually have full time nannies whilst not working. I bet less than 10%!

"It’s far cheaper to cook from scratch than to eat takeaways and ready meals."

It depends. mugshot for 50p, ready meals for £1. For a single person it's often cheaper to buy ready-made things than buy loads of veg, which then has to be thrown out unless you've batch cooked following a strict meal plan.
I've posted above about recipes like Jack Monore's. They're only cheaper if you eat the same things all the time to use up all the jars.
Then try eating out, pub food is much more calorific than fine dining.

You can be slim and healthy!! I don't understand these arguments implying the only way to be thin is starving yourself!

My mum is in phenomenal shape, she does a lot of yoga but eats whatever she fancies... just in moderation. -she is the fittest person I know. But has always prioritised health over size. I was brought up to eat a cream cake if I fancy it... order whatever I want when we go out ... but taught that this isn't something you do every day. If you've had an indulgent day, make an extra effort to be healthy the next day.

It's a lifestyle and a mindset. My 85 yr old grandma still walks miles, has never set foot in a gym in her life. She eats butter, has a biscuit with her cup of tea etc - but she also just eats very pure food, squeezes a small orange juice each morning - whatever she fancies but just small portions. The volume of food most of us eat is way way too much now.

I'm just trying to say, the only way to be slim isn't to starve yourself, live on a rice cake and be a slave to the gym.

doskant, absolutely agree.

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.’ She was criticised universally for being so honest as it made all the less disciplined people feel bad. "

I disagree. She was criticised mainly for the use of the word 'skinny, which most people don't see as positive. If she had said 'slim' I think most people would have approved.
I want to be slim, but no way do I want to be skinny.

You can be slim and healthy!! I don't understand these arguments implying the only way to be thin is starving yourself!

The strange thing is about this thread that there is an implication that being slim is unusual. It is fairly common amongst the people that I know (as is being overweight) but it's about 50:50 I would say at least in the area that I live in. I realise that it varies throughout the UK though (although I am nowhere near London fwiw).

"My in-laws fall into this category- fresh, home-cooked food, everything from scratch, loads and loads of vegetables (pulses, lentils, the lot). Generally non-drinkers.
Every single one of the adults - that's about 40 of them - is obese."

Years ago, I remember a 'Supersize vs Superskinny" episode that stuck in my mind. The bigger woman, who was in fact morbidly obese, was middle-class and sneery (to the point of rudeness) about the far-too-thin working-class girl's food. The MC woman was a great cook, a self-admitted "foodie" and would only eat the freshest, organic ingredients. It wasn't helping her weight though, as she still ate far too much.

"Jamie Oliver was derided for suggesting that a cheap quick and easy pasta meal could be made with pasta, some tomatoes and a tin of anchovies, it was seen as unrealisticly aspirational for many low income people in the UK. That seems to be the problem and one that I really don't understand why it is 'different' here."

Anchovies is just a bit of a strange ingredient for me. Is that why?
I look at the recipes in the Guardian sometimes and I don't even know what half the ingredients are, let alone where I could get them.
I do think there's a lack of really easy cooking tips out there.
Even Tom Kerridge's programme, which is supposed to be teaching basic cooking, uses exotic ingredients imo.

Kate Moss is also rarely seen without a fag in her gob and was heavily into the cocaine diet at one point. Inspirational

If you have a bowl of all bran (cheap) with slim milk in the morning, a mug shot and apple at lunch and a £1 ready meal and a yogurt for dinner, you are unlikely to get fat. Yet cheap.

If you eat crunchy nuts cereals with full fat milk, a mug shot with a bag of crisps, two glasses of sprite, ane or two chocolate bars at 4pm, 8 cups of tea/coffee with plenty of milk and a ready meal in the evening, a bag of chocolate and two glasses of wine, then you'll probably be fat very quickly.

Most slim people are a lot fatter than kate moss and posh spice though, I think that is maybe what this thread is confusing - superskinny with healthy strong slim

which then has to be thrown out unless you've batch cooked following a strict meal plan.

Batch cooking doesn't have to be that strict. You just put as many vegetables, say in a bolognese sauce, as you can to bulk it out to 6 or 8 portions and freeze the extra day's meals. You just do this with everything you cook. You can use the freezer stock up pretty much whenever you want. All you need is freezer space.

Even Tom Kerridge's programme, which is supposed to be teaching basic cooking, uses exotic ingredients imo.

We've got a tom kerridge recipe book, and even as someone who enjoys cooking i am put off overwhelmed when the ingredient list doesnt fit on a single page! 😳

"The MC woman was a great cook, a self-admitted "foodie" and would only eat the freshest, organic ingredients. It wasn't helping her weight though, as she still ate far too much."

You've reminded me of the upper class 'two fat ladies'. Home cooking didn't help them! (I know that one of them had also been an alcoholic)

"Batch cooking doesn't have to be that strict. You just put as many vegetables, say in a bolognese sauce, as you can to bulk it out to 6 or 8 portions and freeze the extra day's meals. You just do this with everything you cook. You can use the freezer stock up pretty much whenever you want. All you need is freezer space."

I know Bird. I just hate cooking and I'm lazy. I live alone so don't want to have to plan ahead like I'd have to if I had a family.
Things I can prepare on the hop would be better for me.

I don't understand why cooking isn't taught at school, family meals under a fiver.. making a basic stir fry, pasta dish, basic curry --- easy, cheap meals.

When I went to uni I was shocked how many people my age couldn't cook at all and just lived on chicken and chips.

All I learnt in school was how to make flapjack and fairy cakes 🙄