To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Weight is definitely linked to economic status now! (Whole other debate whether that's the same thing as class!)

Families with higher income can afford to snack on berries/avocados/nuts, buy organic food and good quality ingredients, go to fitness class/yoga/Pilates etc. I grew up in a poor area and it was normal to eat Greggs a lot, eat multiple bags of crisps- families spent a lot on TVs and it wasn't common for mums to exercise. (My experience only, before I get shot down!) I now live in an affluent area and the women live in luxury sportswear... our planet organic has queues out the door for smoothies and juices, you would never ever see a mum here eating a bag of monster munch.

If you are financially stable you can afford to eat well, go to exercise classes... it's a lifestyle where I live... at the weekends families go for cycles and exercise, the kids are eating chickpea crisps or other weird health snacks.

It absolutely isn't. People can lose weight with diet OR exercise, and diet is the most practical way for most people. You don't have to do both and there's some evidence to suggest that dieting is better for losing weight and exercising for maintaining your weight.

It absolutely is,, and my personal experience is supported by studies.

You may be able to lose weight with one or the other, but I find a combination of the two works best, no question.

I’ve been slim all my life, and I maintain that by exercising. If I put on a few pounds - I cut my food back and increase exercise and it goes fairly quickly. One or other on its on is not as effective.

There are quite a number of overweight people who are exercise phobic (not suggesting you’re one of them) whose views seem to be based on justification of not exercising.

So surely the fact we are told three meals a day, a third carbs on our plate is not correct? I would be huge if I followed those guidelines at my age. That might not be the case for others though.

@Humpy84 - I didn't see your later message. I know where I live there are activity/exercise classes you can do with kids. Is this a possibility? Or take the pram to the park at a quiet time and do your own workout involving your kids?

Or say to your DH that he needs to skip a couple of his nightly gym sessions so you can go to a Pilates class or something. It's not fair he can go whenever he wants!

but humans have a natural tendency to like sugary and fatty foods and it's difficult to fight against that

Not humans in general - some people. Some people don’t like either.

If you believe something’s a ‘natural tendency’ rather than personal taste, it’s easier to believe it’s something you ‘can’t fight’. I think encourages passivity.

If you believe something’s a ‘natural tendency’ rather than personal taste, it’s easier to believe it’s something you ‘can’t fight’. I think encourages passivity.

Agree TatianaLarina, to me it's just yet another excuse to avoid personal responsibility and lay the blame elsewhere.

Much like all this snacking, no you do not need a snack. I find it incredible that even so-called diet and healthy eating threads have snacks as an essential part of the diet.

redbed, I do understand where you are coming from and obviously you have a point. However, healthy foods are only slightly more expensive than cheap foods (raspberries and high quality meat excepted!). I really think its really more of a cultural thing: lack of time, knowledge, not being so bothered by being plump (!), my earlier reference to Orwell "fancying something tasty" when life's hard etc.

and let us not forget the relentless selling of cheap shite dressed up as food. I even remember this from my childhood "Frosties, they're ggrrrreatttt". I can't even buy a pencil in W H Smith without someone pushing a massive bar of cheap shite Cadburys chocolate bar on me.

I've not read the thread, because it's 22 pages, but in answer to your question OP:

1. Pressure from expensive fashion and lifestyle magazines as motivation
2. Personal trainers and gym membership
3. Able to afford posh healthy foods. It's easier to stick to eating more fruit and veg if you can afford fancy and flavourful varieties and you don't have to stick to apples!
4. Liposuction and other cosmetic surgery
5. Able to afford help with childcare and housekeeping, therefore not permanently exhausted and stressed so eating habit not so dependent on emotions
6. Active hobbies unaffordable to many - horseriding, skiing, swimming in your own pool, tennis on your own court etc
7. Expensive shapewear under their clothes!
8. Not needing to rely on sugar filled convenience foods, which trigger a spiral of addiction

^ yep.

I have been thinking this recently too. My dc are at private school and there are NO fat or even vaguely wobbly mums. Everyone dropping off in workout gear looking yoga honed or just looking naturally skinny like their weight hasn’t changed in 20 years.

So surely the fact we are told three meals a day, a third carbs on our plate is not correct?

Surely that depends on the size of your plate? Ethically, I come from a background of (currently) low obesity rates - around 5% of the population. I grew up eating the traditional diet of lots of rice and veg and little meat. No giant plates, but a smallish rice bowl and shared plates of barchan (veg sides including various kimchee) and usually a grilled fish, and usually a small bowl of soup. Puddings did not traditionally exist except for (disgusting) sweet bean paste filled rice balls. If not rice, it would be noodles. Breakfast is traditionally rice and soup.

Interestingly, internally a BMI of over 25 is considered obese and the country has a different problem of 20% of young women classified as underweight.

Not humans in general - some people. Some people don’t like either.
I agree, or some people don't like foods that are considered sweet by today's standards. Greek yogurt with a drizzle of honey is sweet, fruit is sweet, peas, corn, carrots and sweet potatoes are sweet. Cadbury chocolate (for example) is sickening in my opinion.

All the apparently bafflingly slim people just didn't eat as much as anyone thought, just the same as how all the overweight secret eaters ate a lot more than they admitted to, usually forgotten snacking, large portions and lots of calories in drinks.

I didn't see the TV programme but yes, that's nearly always it in my experience.

As I said earlier, the one thing in common most people have on the "How to you stay slim" threads, is they nearly always eat less than overweight people.

Which is why it's not always about carbs or poverty, but portion size and snacking.

With my mum and her friends, they can afford to work part time and have gym memberships, and can afford to put the kids in the gym creche or in childcare so they can exercise.
Of course this isn't exclusive to the middle class (as my mother is) but it is easier when you've got a bit more time and disposable income!

I come from a WC background and both my parents are slim. They always cycled to work and grew lots of their own veg. Their main hobbies were making things and gardening. I have a professional job, so I end up working longer hours and am fatter than them as a result of eating convenience foods and less time to have active hobbies.

I Haven't read the whole thread, and I'm sure there's nothing startlingly original about my view.

However, I think it is because:

1. We cook from scratch most of the time
2. We can afford better quality food
3. We understand better about making healthy & nutritious choices/better educated
4. More likely to take exercise regularly e.g. playing tennis, walking, hiking and pass that on to our children.

I’ve put weight on because my husband had cancer and needed to build himself up. He didn’t want to eat so I ate to encourage him. Plus with all the time spent in hospital I didn’t have the chance to run as much as I usually do. Now I’m ready to drop the kgs. I’ll do more running, cut out chocolate and eat lots of salads and fish. I expect by about June I’ll have cracked it. But the main thing is my husband has had several all clears - not the big five year one yet but we live in hope - and we’re enjoying life again.
My point is this. There are more important things than weight. Try to sort out your other problems and get your head in a good place. Then you’ll feel better about yourself and in a frame of mind where you can tackle diet and exercise without feeling overwhelmed. We all know what to do to lose weight. The issue isn’t knowledge, it’s motivation and that’s hard to find if you are miserable and feeling swamped.

There do seem to be a lot of people (in life generally) who think that fat = working class or even underclass. If you take your DCs to white middle class activities (as in ones where all the women are white and would consider themselves middle class) it is unusual round here at least to see somebody who is not thin.

As I said earlier, the one thing in common most people have on the "How to you stay slim" threads, is they nearly always eat less than overweight people.

I find it incredible that people find this a shock, do they really believe that slim/thin people eat the same quantity of food as overweight people and there is some kind of magic formula that only slim people know about which prevents them from gaining weight?

OP:
I consider myself to be upper middle class, university lecturer on 40k income.
I DO think this is a class issue: it’s clear that income affects how we eat and live in general.
More affluent people have the income to spend more money in quality food like fish and meat and veggies. Ever since I started following a Keto diet I now spend a LOT more in weekly shopping.

Which brings me to another issue: I’ve decided to start on a Keto diet because I suffer from pretty bad bouts of depression (2 suicide attempts under my belt, the last when my DC was going through colic phase) and I can’t tell you how much it’s changed my life for the better.
It’s hard to make the change at first, but, boy, am I happy ive done it...
You can kill two birds with one stone here: try the diet, read about it - it’s made a huge difference to my mental health and overall energy levels.
This does not preclude you taking time to address the issues with your partner. Parenting is a two person affair in your case. Hold your own. My DH and I have each two early evenings/nights during the week to do whatever we want: it can either be going to the gym on our own, or going to cinema with friends or gardening or... cuddles with our DC, or studying for PG diploma. I advise you to do the same. Just because you are a SAHM at the moment, you’re not a single parent....!
Be strong! If you wanna chat, send me a private message! :)

"but humans have a natural tendency to like sugary and fatty foods and it's difficult to fight against that

Not humans in general - some people. Some people don’t like either."

Habit, habit, habit. You can change it in less than 30 days. I cannot really tolerate chocolate or sugary things now. But it took a while of consciously not eating them.

And I had a double chocolate magnum a day in the third trimester

More likely to take exercise regularly e.g. playing tennis, walking, hiking and pass that on to our children.

^ This. If you are less well off then IME you tend to provide for your children to do sports and be active and not do any yourself whereas if you have more money you can do it together instead of sitting watching them.

What Fazakerley said

Three hours skating or whatever is a lot of exercise