AIBU to be annoyed?

[Trocadero]

Had conversation earlier with DH discussing what we were having for evening meal (I usually cook - as am a better cook than him & he tidies kitchen afterwards which I don't like doing!)

Then I asked him if he fancied cooking it. It was an easy enough meal and I offered to do the kitchen tidy up. He agreed, all good.

When he called me through to eat he'd done a different meal to what I'd planned!

I'm annoyed because he never said he was going to change it, otherwise I'd have cooked it so as to get what I wanted to eat.
I spend my life asking him what he wants to eat and pretty much cooking that meal, so feel a bit irritated that he thought it was ok to just change the bloody meal without mentioning it.

I think you are being entirely ridiculous, spoilt and ungrateful. He couldn’t win, could he? A very small thing to get upset about. Are you always such hard work? Its food. Be grateful you have some on your plate.

Do you really consult on every meal? That must make planning very difficult. Don’t you know his preferences by now? Or, is it just inane conversation about what he fancies for supper?

YABU unless it was something you can't eat the cook gets to decide and it's really not a big deal.

Did you not go into the kitchen at all whilst he was cooking it? Surprised it was a surprise.

presumably it'll be ok for me to just cook whatever I want without consulting him too in future?

Yes, why not? It's what most people do, I suspect. I certainly don't have a summit meeting with DH every week about my shopping list, and even what I have meal planned may well get changed at the last moment if I can't be bothered to cook it that day.

I must say, I struggle to understand what's so great about potatoes and veg that you're that disappointed about not getting them. It's easy enough to use them with another meal, after all.

I get it too.

You sound like a right pain in the arse!

I can see where you are coming from here.

A few things have happened recently and I have realised that whilst what ever I do for my dp be it cooking, sorting something out even making a coffee etc. I like to make sure it's done well, I put the effort in it's the coffee he likes, or a bacon sandwich with the bacon cooked as he prefers with a little bit of black pepper on the good bread, because I love him and want him to enjoy stuff.

Whereas if its him doing something for me then its done with the least amount of effort possible. I don't think there is anything sinister behind it it's just he cba.

I am starting to get a bit resentful so I've dialed it back now and am much more slap dash and less accommodating. Tbh he hasn't really noticed but i feel better for it.

Just look after yourself in future op and leave him to his oven chips

I think I get it too. It's not just the food that you were planning tonight, if he used the ingredients needed for different meals it would be pain to sort out. But it's also the fact that your effort in cooking for him all the time hasn't been reciprocated.

Good luck cooking what you actually want to eat! Sounds like a good plan.

I'm totally with you OP. I love my food and enjoy deciding with the other person what we're and look forward to that meal. Would be gutted to find we were having something else!!

I would have been annoyed too. But I admit to being an overly controlling person.

I would be especially annoyed if the ingredients that you had planned on using actually needed eating before they went off.

The OP does not have to be a grateful little woman because her husband made her dinner.

Its got nothing to do with being grateful, if she was expecting a roast and got a sandwich I could get her being pissed off, but all she got was a different version of the same meal

I can understand this. If I thought I was getting a pork chop and was presented with a tofu stir fry I’d be fucking angry. 😄

If you’re expecting veg and potatoes with your chicken but then get oven chips and beans you’ve every right to be pissed. It’s a different meal to what you’d looked forward to.

I completely get it. I look forward to your update on cooking what you want and giving no shits about his sulks op.