A bit depressing - sorry.
Being brought up in the 70’s in a (very) poor single parent family in an area where this was unusual and all that that angst/social issues ensued.
Then feeling absolutely awful that history repeated itself when I had two under 4 in 2003, youngest being 4.5 months after a traumatic birth. He left me and moved on quickly to another woman who became his wife and they have a child that is only 1.5 years less than our youngest.
Yes I do realise / know it was an affair even though it was never admitted or acknowledged by him or her.
I have made a different future history for my two though despite lack of the other parent engagement over last 16/17 years . (No more than twice a year for years and less than once a year for last few years with very minimal or zero phone contact in between)
It won’t be as bleak as could have been as we have fared better than my Mum did in a similar situation 3 decades before as I was educated and pulled out all the stops to work fulltime, decided not rely on benefits and keep a roof over our heads despite all the ‘time sacrifices’ that has involved over their tiny years and beyond. Simply because I could earn a wage that was worth that sacrifice- my mum wasn’t able to do that. No childcare and it wasn't a viable option back in the 70,s/80’s.
2013- My Dad dying over the long bank holiday weekend on a busy ward with us behind shut blue curtains from Sat - Tues watching and waiting for him to die and hoping it wasn’t when other people had visitors there. Obs were withdrawn as they knew nothing else could be done, which we also accepted was pointless.
Questions about a room to die in dignity were fielded off and never answered during that awful long bank holiday. I was very distressed at the beginning and then rallied myself and supported my younger sisters as acceptance kicked in as to what we faced.
I would change that hospital scenari&o in a heartbeat- everything else was as should be, I suppose, no matter how difficult at the time to process.
I am 51 now. Some things still hurt.
Sorry if have derailed the thread.
I think somethings are important to be shared re experiences growing up and blue curtain experiences that in future people should fight against - too undignified a way to die.
I have a direct debit each month for my local adult hospice (over 2 years now) and signed up for the same for my local child hospice recently as I hadn’t known it existed until last week at a shopping centre SHOUT OUT. So I support both now.
Both are separate I have never used either of them them and hope I never have cause to, but it is where I wish my dear dad had had the dignity to go and children not able to make full life expectancy due to life limiting illnesses can also receive the proper care, especially end of life care.
Sorry for the emotive message.