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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not lend my friend money

74 replies

smurfgirl · 14/07/2007 23:19

Mate just rang me and asked me to come and meet her at the cash machine to lend her money for her night out because it just swallowed her card.

And I said no.

Its late and I am in my pajamas, she can get home from where she is.

I don't have loads of money in my bank account and I don't want to give her £30 and then have to wait for a week or so until she can get me more.

I would maybe lend her some so she can get to work, but not for a night out at this time. Am I being horrid?

OP posts:
PinkPotterWeasleys · 14/07/2007 23:20

My Gran always said neither a borrower nor a lender be. But aside from that no YANBU or horrid.

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 14/07/2007 23:20

No, you're not.

I wouldn't go in my pyjamas for anyone, least of all to lend them money!

If she had no money why did she plan a night out? I hate people who do things like that!

blondehelen · 14/07/2007 23:21

YANBU. Bit cheeky of your mate IMO

hotcrumpets · 14/07/2007 23:21

um it's twenty past eleven and she wants you to come bring her money

YANBU

suezee · 14/07/2007 23:21

nope its not horrd........money and friends dont go well together......if it was for essentials then maybe but i think ur right

mummytosteven · 14/07/2007 23:22

YANBU.

Original poster
smurfgirl · 14/07/2007 23:22

The cash machine swallowed her card unexpectedly. I do feel bad for her but I don't really think I should have to fund her nights out you know?

Bt she doesn't come out for my birthday on Thursday now. Ho hum.

OP posts:
HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 14/07/2007 23:22

In the words of my mother

"Why is she going out when most normal folk are going to bed?"

MotherFunk · 14/07/2007 23:39

Message withdrawn

LordPan · 14/07/2007 23:50

MF..I'm with you to a large extent....it's a friend..this is what friends do sometimes.

mytwopenceworth · 14/07/2007 23:53

I would not get dressed and go out at 1130 at night to go find a friend and give her money so she can contnue with a night out!

I would get dressed and go out at 1130 at night to go and rescue a friend who had her card swallowed and thus had no way home.

Friends help friends in need, but come give me some more beer money is taking the piss.

fakeblonde · 14/07/2007 23:54

Unreasonable yes.
My friends would never ring me at that time of night for such a thing unless it was something urgent.
It just wouldn`t happen.

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 14/07/2007 23:58

My BIL has called me at 2am to pick him up from the pub after he has missed the last bus.. or after he thought he would grab a taxi but couldn't. This doesn't bother me.

If she needed a lift home I would have been right there! But just for more cash to continue drinking, no I wouldn't get out of bed & get dressed for that.

MotherFunk · 15/07/2007 00:02

Message withdrawn

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 15/07/2007 00:09

To me? Yes

I am a lazy arse & once I am in my PJ's then tough shit

mytwopenceworth · 15/07/2007 00:13

well by that token, your night in is apparently less important to her than her night out, so I think you cancel each other out!

MotherFunk · 15/07/2007 00:15

Message withdrawn

Boredveryverybored · 15/07/2007 00:17

I'd be upset too. I would ask my friend this if I was in her position, and I'd do it for a friend no problem.

mytwopenceworth · 15/07/2007 00:22

Motherfunk, can't agree with you there mate - her pal rang at after 11pm. That's not reasonable. If it was 7 or 8pm, then maybe thats different, but nearly midnight? come on. And who sets off to go out at 11pm anyway? More likely she's already out, ran out of cash. So she has to come home early. I wouldn't go out at after 11pm unless it was to rescue a stranded friend. Certainly not to provide a mate on the lash with the means to carry on for an extra few hours!!!

MotherFunk · 15/07/2007 00:25

Message withdrawn

woopsadaisy · 15/07/2007 00:31

well, i have just finished my night out and i think that if she was in desperate need for the money i.e couldn't get home i would give it to her but if its just to spend on alcohol etc then i wouldn't

LordPan · 15/07/2007 00:31

Again ,agree with MF. Depends on friendship, history, all sorts. I love my friends, and touche, so one does this sort of thing. Get grumpy yes. But do it.

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 15/07/2007 00:31

Would you also waken your sleeping child & take it with you?

I wouldn't.

I totally understand loyalty to friends, but this was 11pm!! No proper friend would expect me to get my kids out & up at 11pm on a Saturday night.

Anyway, what if smurfgirl had been having a drink herself? Would her friend still have expected her to find a way into town to lend her cash?

LordPan · 15/07/2007 00:33

Helen - no children were mentioned??

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 15/07/2007 00:34

That's right.

I just realised that! It's just I have kids & would have to wake them & take them with me

apologies

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