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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a welcome package for neighbour moving in tomorrow?

331 replies

Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 17:32

We have a new neighbour moving in tomorrow, I’ve never met them but I used to live in the house until it was sold about 8 months ago.

I moved next door as it came up for rent when our landlord gave us notice.

I have a small hamper basket and was going to write the bin collection times, useful info like posties name, some tea, coffee, biscuits etc. Just some bits for moving in day.

Is there anything else that would be good? Or helpful?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/04/2019 19:54

I think it's a bit much op. It shows you've thought about it and went to a lot of effort, and I think a lot of people would be concerned as to why, that you were over invested.

The bin time table and a bottle of wine the day after is fine. And yes drop and go.

OneDayillSleep · 17/04/2019 20:00

I think it's a nice idea, although I'd probably be worried about you being a bit of an over bearing nosey neighbour to be honest. Our neighbour's got us a bottle of wine and a card when we moved in, it was nice but my god is the woman nosey!!! She loves knowing everyone's business in the street! I'm as vague as possible when I talk to her.

Oh and I don't think I've ever known my postman's name, he's "the postman".

Claw01 · 17/04/2019 20:03

Op as seen from this thread, some would love it, others would hate it!

Personally I think it’s kind and thoughtful. It’s your call, what’s the worst than happen?!

HBStowe · 17/04/2019 20:05

That sounds absolutely lovely OP

FraggleRocking · 17/04/2019 20:06

An introduction, some info (bins) and a token gift of maybe biscuits seems ok. A whole hamper is a bit overbearing in my opinion.

LumpyPillow · 17/04/2019 20:08

OneDay... Haha I did wonder about the need/usefulness to know the postmans name too, I think my post lady is lovely and we chat, but knowing her name is pointless to me. It made me imagine that when a new face they've never seen before says 'thanks for my parcel, Thomas....' it sends a chill down their spine 😂

Whatsforu · 17/04/2019 20:09

You sound very kind. All we got when we moved in was dirty looks!!! Hmm

CripsSandwiches · 17/04/2019 20:10

I think you'd have to be a real cynical old grinch to find this anything other than kind and neighbourly.

Parttimewasteoftime · 17/04/2019 20:13

My neighbours are lovely had chocolates as we moved with a one year old. They very helpful re bin day etc as seller left no info and a full shed. I wouldn't want to live next to me and my very noisy DS'S so am grateful to have them.

therearenogoodusernamesleft · 17/04/2019 20:15

I'd worry you'd be trying to be my new best friend and would be anxious about bumping into you. I'd also feel slightly annoyed you'd think I wasn't organised to pack my essentials in properly! I think a friendly hello when you naturally cross paths is much more authentic. DISCLAIMER: I live in London so being antisocial and distant is the default Grin

CherryPlum · 17/04/2019 20:17

Ah I'd be annoyed about the 'Flash Wipes' as they're really not environmentally friendly. But hey ho it sounds like you're going ahead with a 'welcome hamper' anyway, let's hope your neighbour doesn't feel too overwhelmed by the efforts you've gone to (which is what I would be).

BlackPrism · 17/04/2019 20:17

I think it's nice, so long as you're not going to be that person who thinks they own the house they used to live in and are trying to make some kind of subconscious domination play...

'Oh here's the bins schedule, and watch out for the dodgy pipe in my... oops your... bedroom'

TulipFever · 17/04/2019 20:20

I think that the people who don’t understand other people’s reservations about this gesture probably haven’t suffered from overbearing, over involved neighbours. In the past I wouldn’t have either, but now I would see it as a possible forewarning of someone who wanted way more from a neighbourly relationship than I did, or was going to be a tiresome busybody.

BlackPrism · 17/04/2019 20:20

Also I'd think Tetley Tea was an outright insult... Yorkshire tea or GET OFF MY LAWN

therearenogoodusernamesleft · 17/04/2019 20:21

Would also be insulted by the Tetley Tea Grin. What coffee is it? Wink

CherryPlum · 17/04/2019 20:25

What if the new neighbour is a tee-total, caffeine-free vegan?

sonjadog · 17/04/2019 20:25

I wouldn't like it much myself tbh. I would be worried you were going to be the over involved neighbour. I think some local information and a some wine/champagne is plenty, and I would probably wait until they had been there a couple of days.

RollaCola84 · 17/04/2019 20:25

Personally. I'd hate it and would spend the next six months trying to avoid you assuming you'd be trying to arrange coffee mornings, dinner parties, wife swapping or some other hideous social interaction I'd really rather avoid. I say this as someone who moved house in January and has so far exchanged "hi" with one neighbour twice and the other neighbour once.

Push a card through if you must but not the rest. All estate agents / conveyancers / movers etc give people lists for a first day box including tea bags, loo roll etc. so I'd have viewed it as just another box getting in the way. And it takes 30 seconds on the council website to find out bin day.

Sorry, maybe I'm a curmudgeon.

LindsayDentonsWineBottle · 17/04/2019 20:27

Yeah, I’d probably just pop over with a bottle of non alcoholic wine (might be a safer bet than alcohol as it’s not for everyone for various reasons) or some posh sparkly soft drink and just an introduction the day or two after.

RollaCola84 · 17/04/2019 20:27

CripsSandwiches well I'd find it creepy and overbearing but I don't get "neighbourly", I have friends, I have family, I can find information out myself, I can make my own arrangements for things. I have no desire to be friends simply because of proximity.

CripsSandwiches · 17/04/2019 20:30

@RollaCola84

Then by my standards you're a miserable grouch. Surely you can see a nice gesture for a nice gesture. If you don't want the basket you can smile politely and never speak to your neighbours again. You don't have to be best friends with your neighbours but you are bound to come into contact with them and it will behove you to be on good terms.

RollaCola84 · 17/04/2019 20:33

CripsSandwiches and by my standards I would find anyone who did that creepy. I would not see it as a nice gesture but one that was going to come loaded with expectations.

Can't people have different views ??

Waytooearly · 17/04/2019 20:36

What a bunch of grumps on here! Grin

Of course give them the hamper. Just make excuses not to hang about, say you're heading out or something. So they don't feel obligated to host you.

God I do this all the time! New neighbours get a hot crumble or pie. I just knock on the door, say 'Hi welcome, I'm Way at number 16. I know you're busy but here's a crumble.' No one's been traumatised.

Original poster
Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 20:36

Ok I’ve taken out the flash wipes lmao

I’m definitely doing a welcome hamper. I want to be friendly.

I was happy to move out the house, it needed a lot of work doing and my new house is much more to my liking.

I currently know my next door neighbours on the other side, we say hello, we chat occasionally if we cross paths but they also got us a card and welcome package!

It’s just the done thing in these parts.

If they think I’m a dick, then that’s fine. I don’t plan on being their best mate just want to be nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imfinallyhappy1 · 17/04/2019 20:39

waytooearly I really do have to drop and run, we have Easter holidays here and I’m meeting friends. So even if they wanted I’d definitely have to run :)

Thank you everyone though for their views. I’m glad I toned the hamper down and I’ll try and not be over bearing etc.

OP posts: