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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents get in an absolute stew about sex education?

57 replies

malificent7 · 17/04/2019 00:08

Take some parents i know who cried when their 8 year old learned the word penis. I mean its a perfectly jormal word albiet a bit private.
Also the campaigning against lgbt sex education...i mean, why not? I know many mn dont like the trans movement but there is no excuse for not teachingbkids about homosexuality.
I think many parents feel that if their children learn about sex then tjeir innocence is destroyed. No wonder so many Brits have issues about it. Age appropriate sex education is vital to protect children and to normalise the changes that occur during puberty.
Why do some parents find it so hard to explain where babies come from?

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 17/04/2019 00:12

It's bonkers. They foist their own hangups onto their children without any conscious thought. There are far more difficult things to explain to children. Brexit for example

brizzlemint · 17/04/2019 00:13

Some do but fuck 'em, it's a storm in a condom.

thinkfast · 17/04/2019 00:27

I don't find it hard to explain where babies come from - I answer questions age appropriately and honestly. I find it harder for someone else to explain to my children where babies come from..

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2019 00:30

It's awful OP. I taught DD about it all before school, now she's 8 and says she's never having a.baby because both the ways they get out are disgusting.

Never teach them if you want grandchildren Grin

Original poster
malificent7 · 17/04/2019 05:03

Awww...everyone finds it gross. I was mortified when i learned aboutb7 at 7. I caught my mum and dad at it...had no idea whay it was and mum gave me the Usborne facts of life the next day and left me too it!
Crap timing and no dialogue. Thanks mum! If sge had just had a few discussions it would have been less cringe.

OP posts:
amandacarnet · 17/04/2019 05:12

Some parents hate the idea that their kids are growing up. They want to keep the as close to very young children, for as long as possible. They see their kids knowing about sex as clear proof they are growing up.

TwoShades1 · 17/04/2019 06:40

Totally agree! Especially about things like different relationship types. Being homosexual is very different to being trams gender. And trying to lump them together is insulting to both homosexual people and trans gender people.

StealthPolarBear · 17/04/2019 06:43

As with most things education is key to good outcomes.

Ca55andraMortmain · 17/04/2019 06:56

It is ridiculous. I'm a teacher and have had parents complain about lots of different aspects of the sex ed curriculum. It baffles me that at age 10 any of it is news to them anyway. My DD is three and knows the words for her anatomy, how babies are born (have recently had dd2 and there were lots of questions!) and quite a bit about how they grow inside their mummy. She also (thanks to her refusal to ever give me any privacy in the bathroom) knows the basics about periods. I fully expect that by the time she does sex ed at school she will know all about how babies are made. As for LGBT, at our school all we teach them is that there are lots of different kinds of families, some people have a mum and a dad, some have 2 mums, 2 dads, step parents etc. Again, DD already knows that. Will never understand why it's such a big deal.

Interestingly, the most common complaint I've had about sex ed is us teaching them where and what a clitoris is - 'why do they need to know that?' the parents usually say. Blows my mind to be honest!

MsMarvellous · 17/04/2019 07:05

I don't understand it. But I have the same issue in that my DH is really uncomfortable discussing all things sex at home. As and when the kids have questions it's me who will answer them as I'll give a straight answer.

To me it's essential that schools are giving age appropriate education from reception upwards, and that includes education about homosexual relationships being normal.

Something needs to be done to tackle the mass of misinformation.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/04/2019 07:06

I had a school friend whose parents for whatever ever reason treated her like a much younger child. It's not a good idea, she had a really difficult time in early adulthood due to her immaturity.

Purplelion · 17/04/2019 07:10

Couldn’t agree more. I work in a secondary school and had to explain to a year 11 not once why women don’t have periods when they’re pregnant!
It’s shocking how many parents remove their children from the lessons as well. Fair enough if they want to discuss it at home but they are usually removed because they don’t want them learning about sex.

stucknoue · 17/04/2019 07:21

For most parents it's more about timing than them not knowing. I was fine with the biology bit in year 5 but contraception etc can wait until secondary school - they are still very much children at 10. They had lessons in year 8 that covered the more technical aspects of phse including std's etc. My kids always knew about same sex as my brother is gay.

brizzlemint · 17/04/2019 07:51

For most parents it's more about timing

Very apt! Grin

Ewitsahooman · 17/04/2019 07:52

contraception etc can wait until secondary school - they are still very much children at 10

DS is in year 5 and several of the children in his class are already dating. And I don't mean holding hands in the yard and telling people they have a girlfriend/boyfriend, they go on actual dates and consider it to be a relationship. I agree it's young but for some children secondary school is too late for the contraception talk.

CripsSandwiches · 17/04/2019 07:55

I would hope my DC have no need for contraception in primary school but have no problem with them learning about it. Much better to start those conversations too early than too late, they'll hear about it anyway so I'd rather they got the genuine information to put playground gossip in perspective.

DippyAvocado · 17/04/2019 07:57

I am a teacher and think it's a good thing we teach SRE in school. I have taught puberty to Year 5s several times and the amount of girls who know nothing about menstruation is worrying, especially as some of them will start their periods while at primary school. I understand that some parents want to talk to their children themselves, but there are a lot that don't!

I think a lot of the LGBTQ angst is people parroting a headline. Yes, SRE will be taught to 5 year olds. No, they will not be encouraged to change gender, they will be read stories about people who live in non-traditional families.

brizzlemint · 17/04/2019 08:02

TBH I'm happy with whatever sex education my DC's teachers offer them, I haven't seen the curriculum at their high school because I trust the head teacher/subject leaders to make an appropriate decision on my behalf. My DCs have all grown up knowing about same sex relationships and, more recently, about the transgender issues and mutual respect of difference.
I can't see the point in exclusion from sex education, I'd rather they know information appropriately delivered than nonsense in the playground.

Now, who knows how to stop teenagers using 'nonce' as an insult - it seems to be a word of choice with a lot of young people at the moment.

TheFastandCurious · 17/04/2019 08:03

I think my only concern as the new LGBT education from No Outsiders. I don’t know whether it just teaches that there are many different types of families and people or whether or not it teaches that some boys are really girls i.e transwomen are actual women. As long as they stick to facts I don’t see the problem. When it veers into ideology then I can see why parents will begin to remove their children.

endofthelinefinally · 17/04/2019 08:10

I have no issue with parents who want to know who is providing the education and what is being taught.
It needs to be age appropriate and factually correct.
Unfortunately that is not always the case currently. I don't blame parents worrying about primary school children being told that it is possible to change sex.

Lungelady · 17/04/2019 08:12

Yes we had parents who objected to the word clitoris being mentioned.
Bloody idiots

SimonJT · 17/04/2019 08:16

We were all excluded from anything sex ed based as kids, thanks nutty parents! As a teenager I used to join in on jokes about clap eye etc but unlike them I had no idea what it meant, I certainly as a 15 year old lad wasn’t going to ask them, back then smart phones were very new so very few teens had one. The fact that I didn’t end up absolutely riddled is a bloody miracle.

My son is three and he knows he has a penis rather than a winky, willy etc. He also knows that sometimes grownup kiss each other and hold hands it they love each other.

Yogagirl123 · 17/04/2019 08:16

Age appropriate is fine IMHO, kids don’t always absorb the information correctly I can remember a conversation with my child after Sex Ed telling me that girls have a china!

HeartvsHead · 17/04/2019 08:20

As a science teacher, some of the misconceptions students have are worrying. I've met teenage girls who generally believed different colours condoms had different effectiveness (stick with red they are 100%!) And still don't know the word for vagina.

It's not like we are giving them advice and tips on how to have sex just what it is and what happens as a result. In my experience intercourse always been taught very factually and the relationship side of things is always about exploring different viewpoints with no right/wrong involved.

Jeezoh · 17/04/2019 08:20

I don’t see the problem with talking about contraception in primary school. I doubt they’d make them practice putting a condom on a banana but what’s issue with explaining that there are ways to circumvent biology by using a protective layer or taking a specific tablet etc?