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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cope with DH loud eating

66 replies

SandraDea · 16/04/2019 20:17

Over the last few months I’ve become acutely aware of the noise DH makes when eating, I don’t know if he’s become louder or I’ve become more hearing sensitive.

We eat with the TV on thank goodness and I find myself turning the volume up and up to muffle to sounds of crunching, lip smacking and worst of all swallowing!

I’ve told him off for being so loud but of course I know he can’t help it.

I’m considering eating in a different room or at a different time but that may hurt his feelings.

I think IABU but I can’t keep hearing these noises each evening- it’s making me want to slap him really hard 😳

OP posts:
Original poster
SandraDea · 16/04/2019 20:18

Oh I meant to add
Does anyone else have this problem and if so how do you deal with it?

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 16/04/2019 20:18

Yanbu.

I cannot stand hearing people eating. It enrages me.

Livedandlearned · 16/04/2019 20:20

Have a look at Misophonia, it's a condition that you probably have.

I've always had it and could have happily throttled my dm for her eating habits.

TheHorseYouRodeInOn · 16/04/2019 20:20

DP is the same, I play loud classical music!

Whisky2014 · 16/04/2019 20:20

Misophonia. I have it and can't bear the noises either.

40andnotfabulous · 16/04/2019 20:21

It's a condition.... the not liking other people eating sounds.... off to google and will get back to you!

Mondayblues7 · 16/04/2019 20:21

There is someone in the office who eats so loud and talks with their mouth full to the brim.

Literally one of my pet hates. I tell my mum off for talking with her mouth full and she just glares at me. "you told me as a child it was rude, so you should lead by example"

A guy at work (another one) also swallows his tea so loud!

I think you need to let him know how irritating it is, maybe just suggest he slowed down with his eating and tried to eat with his mouth closed.

wineandroses1 · 16/04/2019 20:22

Maybe it is Misophonia or it could be that he just eats in a way that generates a disgusting noise. Has he tried to make less noise?

Easterbunnynearlyhere · 16/04/2019 20:23

You need to practice your death stare. Of course he can help it!!

troppibambini · 16/04/2019 20:23

Yep another misophonia sufferer here. It's awful I actually could fucking kill dh when he eats. Multiple noise sources get me too.

40andnotfabulous · 16/04/2019 20:24

Ah others have beat me too it. It's Misophonia.

I could literally slap my husband when he's eating a chocolate yoghurt as he kind of licks and slurps it really loudly. Drives me insane.

ShowOfHands · 16/04/2019 20:24

I get very angry and upset when people eat noisily. I don't like most repetitive noises but eating sounds are abhorrent.

Iggly · 16/04/2019 20:24

Yanbu

Mine is worse when I’m wound up or stressed!!

We play the radio or tv when eating

CripsSandwiches · 16/04/2019 20:25

Oh god I have terrible misophonia with eating sounds - especially DH.

Original poster
SandraDea · 16/04/2019 20:26

Oh that’s interesting I hadn’t heard of misophonia I’ll look into it thank you

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 16/04/2019 20:26

Genuine question - those who have misophonia... What does your own eating sound like?
Are you aware of it? Does it affect how you eat?

Livedandlearned · 16/04/2019 20:26

I always regret cooking stir fry for tea as soon as dh starts munching.

PersonaNonGarter · 16/04/2019 20:26

My DH has started this! It is driving me crazy (and also him as I complain).

I actually wondered if it has something to do with DH’s breathing and needing to draw breath when he is eating. I think he is breathing through his nose less. (DH had an operation on his sinuses when he was younger - maybe needs another, dunno).

Sympathies, OP

Bluntness100 · 16/04/2019 20:28

I'm really not sure if it's misophonia. That makes it the ops fault. Like she has some thing wrong with her, and she may not,. Some people are just loud eaters and it really pisses everyone else off. No one likes it, it's perceived in our culture as bad manners to be a noisy eater.

That doesn't mean everyone else has misophonia, it just means the noisy eater has bad table manners.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 16/04/2019 20:28

My DP has it too. Only today he was moaning at the loudness of DS' and my eating. One of the reasons he won't use public transport is due to the gum chewers.

Iggly · 16/04/2019 20:29

Genuine question - those who have misophonia... What does your own eating sound like?
Are you aware of it? Does it affect how you eat?

I used to think about this a lot. I can zone it out. Also I know what sounds are coming next.

With someone else eating, I don’t know and that’s part of the issue. I am unconsciously focussing on the unpredictability of someone else’s chewing.

But, to be honest, it’s just an extension of my anxiety.

Whisky2014 · 16/04/2019 20:30

BruceAndNosh I'm a quiet eater, don't lip smack and don't take massive bites. But that's not because I have misophonia I just have always eaten that way. Its the way everyone should eat!

JaneEyre07 · 16/04/2019 20:30

Oh god, I nearly killed DH yesterday when he was eating a bacon sandwich. We eat in the living room most of the time, with the TV on very loud which I hate but I can't bear to sit in the dining room as the sound is unbearable.

Livedandlearned · 16/04/2019 20:32

Bluntness that's true but if op feels strongly about it, it may well be misophonia. She can read the symptoms and see for herself.

Either way she has to find a coping mechanism.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 16/04/2019 20:32

I don't think I've ever seen someone smack their lips but it happens a lot on threads on this subject

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