To not cope with DH loud eating

[SandraDea]

Over the last few months I’ve become acutely aware of the noise DH makes when eating, I don’t know if he’s become louder or I’ve become more hearing sensitive.

We eat with the TV on thank goodness and I find myself turning the volume up and up to muffle to sounds of crunching, lip smacking and worst of all swallowing!

I’ve told him off for being so loud but of course I know he can’t help it.

I’m considering eating in a different room or at a different time but that may hurt his feelings.

I think IABU but I can’t keep hearing these noises each evening- it’s making me want to slap him really hard 😳

Breakfastatsquiffanys, when I say lip smacking it's probably more a wet cheek slappy sucky noise. Open your mouth slightly, suck your cheeks onto your molar teeth then quickly release them. That noise. The noisy-banana-eating noise.

Ewwww surely lip smacking, finger licking, slurping and eating open mouthed etc would turn anyone's stomach.
I cant believe everyone here has the same medical condition but I'd put money on plenty of the OH's/DC being lazy or inconsiderate eaters

@Doman, my husband does the slurpy chomp too. He eats with his mouth closed but I can hear it squelching when he chews which enrages me. He crunches a lot too.

Other noises set me off (I'm very intolerant), such as colleagues thumping their keyboards at work. My dad used to constantly pick the dry skin on his finger which wound up me and my Brother when we were younger.

Could he just eat like a pig OP? Do other people bother you with their eating?

My DH has progessed slowly to eating like an angry badger to the point it's now almost divorce material... He's started
slumping over the table too and it makes me feel physically sick.

Squelching. That's it. Squelching. Ugh.

I'm exactly the same, started last year and it drives me up the wall. I can tolerate my children eating, but not my DH. It's so bad that I can't be near him when he eats certain foods like crisps or apples. It doesn't help that he over chews everything. I've counted and each mouthful of food, he will on average chew 30-40 times before swallowing
It's an actual miracle that I haven't yet throttled him.

I have no solution (other than wireless earphones so I don't look odd )

The noise that literally gives me the rage with DH and I’m not talking mild annoyance, I literally could happily punch the wall it makes me so angry, is when he sneezes, they are violent, loud and a full on bloody performance, I’m surprised his brains have not exploded through his nose, I have this performance most evenings, says he can’t help it this has only been happening for the past few years so yes he can help it, it’s a habit he’s developed he was never like this years ago.

OP - are you going through menopause? I have always hated noisy eating but it's worse now. Along with noisy typing and sloshing water (fountains and water in the iron!) and clapping - not the noisy clapping but the type you get from the crowd when golf is on the tv. Noise sensitivity is one of what seems like a million symptoms of meno.

Oooh, yes! I want to thump DH when he eats. Bananas are the worst - full on washing machine noises. Also the vegan at work, who starts snacking on carrots, nuts and seeds from around 10:30am and keeps going until mid afternoon

He’s not white British so the way he was brought up to eat was very different to the kind of usual table manners you see

What a crass, uninformed statement to make🙄

bbang I eat quietly enough and Im not white or British. I dont always use a knife & fork either. It is nothing to do with culture or colour or cutlery.

The table manners requirement is not uniquely British, if I sat troughing and slurping at the table Id get short shrift. Nobody eats like that in here.

Noisy eaters put too much food on their fork so are forced to chew with mouths open - followed by having to swallow down a big load of food so of course, the swallowing is noisy too.

Slobs come from any and every culture. You are a slobbish eater,
or you are not. I see tourists back home with enough food on their plate to feed a small army. Noisy gluttons spitting out food as they talk. Loads of alchol too. That doesnt mean tourists on the next table are the same does it?

Generally whilst I think Misophonia is a thing, I don't think I have it. I just dont want to see food in an open mouth nor hear gurgling as if fighting with food - its not exactly a pleasant appealing sound is it and really, who likes to hear unpleasant sounds?

I bet people who eat like that can and do contain it at say a works meal with colleagues or any meal for an important occasion. They just cant be bothered to eat decently at home. I suppose. theyre more remaxed in home environment. so for tgem jt doesnt matter

OP maybe you will have to wear discreet earplugs.

Yanbu.

I have two family members whose eating noises put me off my meals.

Slosh, crunch, gnash, gnash, gnash, gnash, gnash, gnash, gulp, repeat.
(And silent scream).

Sympathy OP. I have a noisy eater for a husband and it enrages me. My children do not eat this way and so they do not annoy me. Misophonia is a 'thing' but so are noisy eaters.

My husband puts far too much in his mouth at one time, for example taking huge bites out of a sandwich. He therefore has to open his mouth in order to move the food around, hence the ghastly lip smacking and chomping.

I've noticed that if we are out for a meal somewhere, say with his parents or work colleagues, he's perfectly capable of eating smaller mouthfuls politely rather than shovelling. He just eats like a lion ripping a gazelle's throat out when he's at home.

I've had more success asking him to keep his mouth closed when he eats than with asking him to put less in his mouth. I think this is because everyone knows it's rude to chew with your mouth open whereas the 'right' amount to put in your mouth is open to bitter argument debate.

Genuine question - those who have misophonia... What does your own eating sound like?
Are you aware of it? Does it affect how you eat?

Yes, mine affects how I eat. I actually think that I don't enjoy food as much as I could do, because I'd be so horrified if I made any noise at all. I am a totally silent eater - I have to be. Eating with (some) other people is absolute torture. Sometimes I just get up and leave the room, because I can't bear it.

YANBU.

I hate the way dh eats sometimes, but he doesn't seem to notice it with anyone. But even worse is when he drinks, at the beginning of a cup of coffee he always slurps for the first few sips, whether the coffee is too hot or not. Makes me murderous. He also has a habit of taking massive gulps when coffee has gone cold or he's having a cold drink. He then holds it in his cheeks for a few seconds then swallows it as if it is a golf ball, making a really loud gulpy/swallowy sound at the same time. I am shuddering just thinking about it. And don't get me started on his giant burps and ludicrous sneezes.

But there are differences in how/what he hears compared with how/what I hear. If there is something making a noise I can normally tell if it is the fridge, freezer, Xbox, PlayStation etc. but he can't necessarily hear them, never mind work out which is making the noise.

We had a new combi boiler installed last year, nice and quiet compared with the old one. When I am in the lounge I can often hear it on in the kitchen over the sound of the television. Or in the mornings it can wake me from sleeping upstairs when it comes on, even before the slightly noisier sounds come when the water starts moving in the heating pipes.

I can often hear the electricity buzz when a socket is switched on, or the faint sound the tv makes when Sky is off but the tv is still on.

I can also tell which of the 4 boys are coughing or sneezing upstairs, he often doesn't even hear them at all. It used to be me who always heard them crying overnight as babies, but don't worry, if he wasn't needing sleep for work I'd soon wake him for a turn at changing a nappy.

But he can identify music better than me, I am practically tone deaf when it comes to that.

We can rest assured that if someone tries to break into our house during the night I will hear them before they are even in the garden, I can hear everything out there. But I can also hear next doors kettle when they come in from a shift at work at 2.30am, wake me banging their front door closed and make a drink. It was lovely when next door was empty for a few months while it was up for sale.

So, if I need to work out what music is being played, dh can help. If we want to keep our home safe during the night that is where I am useful.

What does your own eating sound like?

Very, very quiet.

My 17 year old daughter, who also has high functioning autism, was officially diagnosed with misophonia, by the audiology department at the hospital! It is indeed a proper 'thing'.
Her hearing sensitivity is off the scale, but is limited to 'human' noises, mainly eating, breathing and snoring. If we sit near someone eating popcorn at the cinema, we can pretty much write the whole trip off Much as I adore the girl, living with her ain't no picnic
She finds earphones with music really helpful, or earplugs. Or nagging at her sisters and I to breathe more quietly! To be fair to her, she actually manages the whole thing really well, and it can't be easy for her either.