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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 16/04/2019 18:02

We used to live in the exact same set up, except we were house 3, in prime position to be blocked in by neighbours 1(barely space for 2 cars) and 2 (space for 3)
But we are lucky, as neighbours 1 and 2 aren't wankers.
Neighbour 1 used to occasionally park 3rd car behind his 2 spaces, half on his drive, half on the shared access, but then sacrificed a bit of his front garden to make his driveway wider to so it takes 3 cars
Could you do that?

rosesandcashmere · 16/04/2019 18:03

If they own their driveway and your husband is blocking access constantly by monopolising the shared area I would be annoyed. They own the space. Perhaps he could ask first, courtesy before goes a long way. I've asked builders to get out of my private space in our car park before as the woman opposite kept blocking my space. Parking is emotional!

Margot33 · 16/04/2019 18:03

It's your fault. You are blocking them from using their drive. He ought to always park close to his garage door, I do this to avoid hanging over the pavement.

ElizabethMountbatten · 16/04/2019 18:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 16/04/2019 18:05

But DH says it marks out our driveway boundary so it stays put!

Your update is even worse.

DH isn’t just CF he is a total twat. No wonder the neighbours have had enough. It must be a nightmare living next door to such inconsiderate people.

gamerwidow · 16/04/2019 18:05

OP, you aren’t a CF you are despicable. Your selfish attitude is truly vile
To be fair the OP has mistook a shared access for a shared drive and been a bit inconsiderate rather than shat on the bonnet of her neighbours car so that’s a bit much. She’s asked the question at least and I’m fairly sure her and her husband will park better in future. I know it’s a big ask for AIBU but a bit of perspective might not go amiss.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 16/04/2019 18:06

Why can't you do anything with the driveway?
You must have some front garden

Reastie · 16/04/2019 18:06

Sorry op but agree with the consensus. If you live somewhere with a very small parking space and choose to have a massive car you’re going to have to park it very tightly against the garage for access. As a rule of thumb mentally I always think leave enough space for an ambulance to get through in an emergency.

I think it’s unreasonable that the neighbour in the big house should have to park her car away from her drive and walk to her home because you are blocking the drive and they have been reasonable biting their tongue thus far. It’s probably been really annoying for them and they’ve had enough.

Fwiw if you’re having builders I think you will either have to park your car elsewhere to let them have the car space, ask builders to park elsewhere and walk to the house or very politely ask neighbours if you could use one of their spaces (you said big house has enough for three cars) whilst the work is going on so that access can be retained but not expect them to agree (eg if they have friends over this may make things difficult for them). Also for good neighbour relations I would always let said neighbour know when you’re having work done that requires a person in a van so they are expecting potential issues with getting in and out.

If necessary sort out your garage to put the car in there or else park it in the road where neighbour has had to and walk to your home, but it’s unreasonable not to give access to neighbours’ drive.

sauvignonblancplz · 16/04/2019 18:06

We use to have neighbours like you. Much like your poor neighbours we said very little until it became unbearable!!
This petty bullshit is so upsetting to people who hate confrontation and just want to come home and relax.
You do realise that you and your husbands pettiness could actually be causing the couple quite a lot of upset. It’s low level constant disruption to their daily life.
Why? Why? Why?
Karma is coming Shock

Durgasarrow · 16/04/2019 18:06

Yes, I would be very annoyed to think I could not use my own driveway if I came home unexpectedly with armloads of bags, as the nurse did.

viques · 16/04/2019 18:06

So not only do you have a land rover and a work van that don't fit on your drive it appears you now have a third car as well! And a too small garage for any of them .

And stop blaming it all on your oh just because you have had seven pages of people telling you you are unreasonable , the pair of you sound very well suited, selfish and inconsiderate. I would be telling you to put that concrete flower pot where the sun don't shine.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 18:06

You have a land rover.

A works van (which is big).

AND another car (yours).

And you only have a driveway for one car.

Wise up and don’t block the access. It’s not a shared driveway.

Rainbunny · 16/04/2019 18:06

OP - YABU, even more so if you consider that you wrote the original post from your own perspective and it still came across clearly as you being in the wrong! Can you not see it?

Given that your DH has been taking advantage of your neighbour's goodwill for ages by taking up the shared driveway area, I'm not surprised she's had enough. Your actions have cost you any neighbourly goodwill I'm afraid.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 18:07

Spots with viques

stucknoue · 16/04/2019 18:07

I would be annoyed at you too. We've had the shared drive thing in the past and I was fed up with knocking on doors and getting people to move too

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 18:08

*x post

0nTheEdge · 16/04/2019 18:08

Sorry, you guys are totally in the wrong. Can you not put yourself in their position? You say your car is there when they're not using it, but you don't know when they'll be back. Why should they have to knock on or park down the road? That's two other houses not being able to use their drives at a time because of you guys. And of course you should park as close to your garage as possible, especially as you know how much of a squeeze it is to get round. You both have big cars so you both need to be considerate of each other if you don't want scratches.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 18:08

And the whole of the plant pot, including the entirety of the lip of the pot, needs to be on your driveway.

How long have you been doing this for?

MrMeSeeks · 16/04/2019 18:09

Your dh is being so unreasonable i can’t even see the line.
I would hate to live next to you im afraid

CustardOmlet · 16/04/2019 18:09

we live in a similar position to House 3, except there are 5 houses on our shared drive. Very occasionally someone is briefly parked, and I have to wait, but this is occasionally and I have better things to get angry about in life. I suspect your neighbors have had more experiences of being stuck than you know and they have reached the end of their tether. Have a word with your DH about being neighborly and considerate.

Furrydogmum · 16/04/2019 18:10

Get your garage door rebated so you have more space to pull your car in further..

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/04/2019 18:12

I agree with Rainbunny about the neighbourly goodwill too. You won't have that now, instead, you've actually increased sensitivity to the situation and the slightest transgression now will annoy your neighbours.

If it were me, I'd go with what Gamerwidow has posted about, apologise to your neighbours, say that you perceived a shared access as a shared driveway, mistakenly - and you'll take care now not to block it again at any time.

... and then walk the walk. That's what I'd do anyway.

lyralalala · 16/04/2019 18:12

So your DH repeatedly blocks the access to their home, but deliberately puts a plant pot on your drive at such an angle it makes their access difficult? And a plant pot on a drive that's already too small for your car? Does he have any redeeming features?

To put into context of good neighbours - the house at te end of out cul de sac have a car that's too long for their parking space and too big for their garage so they open the garage door and park half in-half out rather than hang into the road and block other people. Because they are decent neighbours.

0nTheEdge · 16/04/2019 18:12

Cross post. Your H sounds like an obnoxious twat. If he carries on like this you could end up with a horrible mess on your hands re relations with your neighbours. Stuff like this can really spiral!

bebeboeuf · 16/04/2019 18:12

My driveway is short.
A Range Rover wouldn’t fit on it.

Therefore I purchased a smaller car as I would block the road by hanging out otherwise

(Not to mention I can’t afford nor want a Range Rover)

OP = CF and the same sort of CF’s that piss me off daily around my way too