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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 16/04/2019 17:49

'Despicable' seems a bit harsh. 'Oblivious' and inconsiderate' are more proportionate. At least it appears that it's slowly dawning on the OP, as she posed the question here.

And she's certainly had the answer Grin.

Purpleartichoke · 16/04/2019 17:50

You should never impinge on your neighbors space. They have a driveway, they should never need to park on the street. That means you should leave it free 24/7.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/04/2019 17:50

Surely OP you must realise that people (most of them) do no enjoy confrontation? They don't want to talk to you - least of all reprimand you - about your selfish utilising of the shared access and preventing theirs?

People fume quietly - and then they have enough. That's what's happened, they've had enough.

You and your husband are self-absorbed and it hasn't occurred to you that you are being selfish. You are and you need to stop it.

Keep that driveway access clear, you're not allowed to block it - ever. Your husband can work on the roadway if his vehicle is MOT'd, he doesn't need to work on the shared access.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/04/2019 17:50

*do not enjoy confrontation

Cantthinkofanythingrightnow · 16/04/2019 17:51

You are repeatedly blocking your neighbours drive and wondering why they are upset? You are an entitled, unreasonable, CF.

IsThatYou · 16/04/2019 17:52

Yabu. Two options here. Move to a place where you have a private space for your DH to faff. Or don't block a shared driveway. Appreciate the precious garage door will be closer to your car.

Cf because they have told you a number of times and you STILL block their driveway

outpinked · 16/04/2019 17:52

YABU. You’re using her bit of the driveway and complaining that she’s annoyed about that...

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 16/04/2019 17:52

Let’s hope Op is off making a handmade I’m so sorry card and buying some procecco.

Honeyroar · 16/04/2019 17:53

Of course you're being unreasonable. You need to organise your garage (put tools elsewhere) so you can get a car in it, or get a smaller car that fits on your driveway.

CurbsideProphet · 16/04/2019 17:54

I'm always confused when people like you (and my neighbours) buy a house with limited parking, despite having cars and a van. Your poor neighbours must be so fed up.

Straightomyhead · 16/04/2019 17:54

I can't believe you think this is ok. I would be annoyed to, if every time I wanted to get in or out, I had to wait for someone to move.

ALannisterInDebt · 16/04/2019 17:54

You are at fault here, just keep your vehicles on your own drive and off your neighbours drive - no matter what time if the day it is.

BlessedFox · 16/04/2019 17:55

Hahaha

EVERYTHING about this is unreasonable OP.

Even your half attempt at a diagram is unreasonable!

NuclearReactor · 16/04/2019 17:56

So if it's a shared driveway shouldn't it be shared equally?? Or can't you park
Round the side of your house? Seems like an odd set up but YABU and they have every right to be annoyed if their drive is getting blocked.

Peachbubble · 16/04/2019 17:57

Sorry OP, but this would really annoy me if I lived in House 2 or 3. I'd want to be able to come and go from my house whenever I wanted, and not have to park somewhere else or ask you to move your car.

screamifyouwant · 16/04/2019 17:57

Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??
This made me laugh , why doesn't your dh park at the top of the drive and then move it back in your drive later on ? He's the one inconvenience your neighbours .

BluntAndToThePoint · 16/04/2019 17:57

God, you sound like a nightmare! This is why anyone with at least half a brain in their head does not buy a house with shared access - they end up with neighbours like you. If your Land Rover doesn't fit on your drive then buy a smaller car. You can't just park where you want and ignore the laws/rules that everyone else has to follow.

EggysMom · 16/04/2019 17:58

Just once, I'd love for an OP to come back and eat humble pie.

Original poster
TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 17:59

I am still reading. It’s DH that blocks the shared bit, not me. I park on the street as there isn’t room for two cars on our driveway. Can’t knock the garage down as it’s part of the house and can’t do anything with the driveway. I actually agree with you all to be fair, I basically posted DHs opinion on it but I kind of thought he was being a twat. A while back NDN slammed into a concrete plant pot that DH has at the end of our drive. It scratched her car (I found this out through house 1) and her DH moved it back further into our driveway. DH moves it back again straight away saying it’s actually still on our driveway and not the shared bit. It is, but I still think as it’s obviously causing a problem he should move it as it doesn’t NEED to be there?! But DH says it marks out our driveway boundary so it stays put! I don’t know, I’m sick of the whole thing in all honesty

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/04/2019 17:59

Op, your and your husband's sense entitlement here is not ok. I'm staggered you had to even ask.

Stop blocking your neighbours. Pull your car in as close to your garage as you can. Find someplace else for your husband to work, and stop putting everyone else out for your lifestyle choices.

sockatoe · 16/04/2019 17:59

I'd be cross if I had to regularly ask a neighbour permission to access my own property. Perhaps you could park your car up the road instead of her having to? Get rid of some lawn? Rent a garage? Ask permission beforehand? Sounds like house 3 works more regular hours than house 1, so perhaps an apology to house 1 and polite request to 3?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/04/2019 18:00

Why should she eat 'humble pie' EggysMom? She asked a question about a scenario she thought she and her husband were being reasonable about - and has been roundly told that she isn't being.

Do you always 'crow' over people?

Grumpasaurous · 16/04/2019 18:00

I know OP

Why don’t you offer to swap houses with the guys in house number three. Cos I’m sure they’d go for that.

Problem solved.

BlessedFox · 16/04/2019 18:01

Your DH sounds like a total arse.

MustStopSnacking28 · 16/04/2019 18:02

I think you need to tell your husband he is being vvv unreasonable and causing unnecessary aggravation with your neighbours. That would really piss me off if my car hit a plant pot and then it was moved back again to a stupid place! Think the neighbours have done well to keep quiet for so long!