Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
slashlover · 16/04/2019 18:12

But DH says it marks out our driveway boundary so it stays put!

That would be the boundary he overhangs and ignores when he wants to park on the shared access?

Macaroonmayhem · 16/04/2019 18:14

Your fault. We have lots of set-ups like this where we live and would never buy a house on a shared drive due to folk like your husband. Poor woman, wondering if she’s going to be able to get her car up to her house each day.

You need to give up part of your garden to make a larger car area for your DH so he can do all his tinkering without causing continued upset.

MrMeSeeks · 16/04/2019 18:15

I would do what people suggest, see if you can extend your driveway or park on the street( that includes workmen).
Unfortunately it sounds like you may have lost any neighbourly goodwill now.

Cornishclio · 16/04/2019 18:16

YABU. Your husband should not be blocking the shared driveway by parking any van on it or tinkering with it or partially blocking it by parking a large car so it partially obstructs the shared driveway. You either should use the garage (put the tools in a shed) or have bought a smaller car if it won't go on the driveway or park it on the road. Alternatively buy a house with a longer driveway. People who block shared driveways infuriate me.

IvanaPee · 16/04/2019 18:16

God he’s a prick. I’d definitely key your cars.

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 18:17

There is nothing we can do about the driveway. We don’t have s front garden, it literally is just a small space big enough for a car and that’s it. There is no way to extend it as neighbours houses boundaries on both sides.

Anyway I get the point, it’s us that’s the CFs

OP posts:
ItsAGo · 16/04/2019 18:17

You/your DH is in the wrong. If I was house 3 I would repeatedly drive in and out every 15mins all day if you kept blocking me in/didn’t ask first if I needed to go out and could your builders park there!

OKBobble · 16/04/2019 18:17

The shared partvis for access only and should be left clear. You are the CFers.

Ikeameatballs · 16/04/2019 18:17

And this is why DP refused to buy a house with a shared drive! You are the CFs!

BloodyWorried · 16/04/2019 18:17

@TigersRoll Where are you parking and what parts are access / parts are private driveway? Are number 3 crossing your driveway and using that as access so they can park two cars and take either of those cars out without needing to rejig, or are you blocking their access? You need to look over the deeds carefully perhaps.

Honeyroar · 16/04/2019 18:17

Your husband sounds very selfish. He's lucky they haven't billed him for the scratched car. They will next time.

EggysMom · 16/04/2019 18:18

OP posts "AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault?? Everybody answers Yes*. And yet when I comment that - after a long absence from the OP - that it would be nice for any OP to come back and admit they are wrong when there is such a weight of opinion against them, I get attacked for doing so?

No wonder people refer to Mumsnet as a nest of vipers.

goodwinter · 16/04/2019 18:18

One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused

Love this part in particular. Why is 11am such an outrageous time for her to come home and what on earth did your DH have to be confused about? It's quite clear!

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 18:19

The mumsnetter who drew the better diagram was spot on. (Although I do realise she was taking the piss!) her diagram has it spot on. The car blocking access is where she put it on her diagram. House one have no problem, they can still get in and out of theirs.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 16/04/2019 18:20

Oh, OP, your DH is one of them. The Work Van and Extra-large Car Wanker. Sympathies.

Look, if your driveway is "tiny" then don't have a bloody concrete plant pot on it. Why is he desperate to mark the boundary anyway? - no one is going to encroach on your parking!

Your DH will never admit he is wrong, and you will have unhappy neighbourly relationships for as long as you live there.

He'll never listen to reason - he's a bloke, and this is Mumsnet's opinion, and that's all just women.

Like I said, sympathies. But he's being a proper cock.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 18:20

How long have you been doing this for?

origamiunicorn · 16/04/2019 18:20

Also this poor woman is coming home from a shift as a nurse, tired off her arse, and having to deal with this shit.

Yep. OP YABVVVU and massively CF-ish.

I live the "this worked well for ages" too 😆 Yes, worked well for you!! Your poor neighbours!

viques · 16/04/2019 18:21

it is a small space big enough for a car and that is it

So you use it to park your landrover, your other car and your work van. And for tinkering.

RIiiight.

woodhill · 16/04/2019 18:21

Sounds like new builds with inadequate parking. Ridiculous you can't get your car in the drive,

OOH I would be fed up if I couldn't get on my own drive with heavy bags

HamCheeseHamnCheese · 16/04/2019 18:22

YABU, they’re fed up, and understandably so. I do think they should have just politely broached the subject with you, instead of all the passive aggressive digs, but surely you can see that it would be totally frustrating to have to squeeze around your neighbours car to access your own drive?

greathat · 16/04/2019 18:22

Yabu I'm on the end of a shared drive and it's a fucking pain in the arse not being able to park on the drive I paid for, or having to spend my time getting people to move

IvanaPee · 16/04/2019 18:23

Show your entitled wanker of a husband the thread.

goodwinter · 16/04/2019 18:25

I actually agree with you all to be fair, I basically posted DHs opinion on it but I kind of thought he was being a twat.

Ah, the almost-but-not-quite-reverse. Genius.

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 18:25

I never said we keep 3 cars on the driveway, that would be impossible. I said the land rover is on the driveway and mine is on the street down the bottom of shares access. If he brings his work can home, he OCCASIONALLY parks it on the shared access bit

OP posts:
lisasimpsonssaxophone · 16/04/2019 18:25

It’s all very well saying that they can just ask you to move, but would you want to have to knock on your neighbour’s door every time you go out? And then again if you forget something and need to pop back? Or need to inform your neighbours if you’re taking a half day to take sure you’ll be able to park on your property when you get home at lunchtime?

Once in a while is fine if you check with your neighbour first, but I’d be going mad if I were your neighbour I’m afraid.