Regarding wanting family members car?

[nighttimebrowser]

My grandmother recently gave up driving due to an eye condition and she has a lovely, new-ish small car that runs well.

My mum mentioned it to be and I casually said 'oh so what's she doing with the car?' and was told that it's being given to my cousin as he's having a baby in the October w/ his GF.

Bit of background, all us grandchildren (3- me, my sister & my cousin) are of driving age, my cousin & I are in our 20's.

I got my driving license recently and have been looking around for a car that's a good price, and is in good condition & I was 100% planning on paying for the car if it was available.

It's worth around £1500 & been given completely free to my cousin, who doesn't have a license and has failed the test a fair few times & doesn't have a job. (Apparently my aunt is going to be paying for it for him).

AIBU to be a bit upset? Here I am with a job, actual driving license the money to buy the car & pay for petrol, insurance regularly & everyone knows I've been looking for an affordable car.

My cousin has had everything given to him, they haven't bought anything for the baby themselves, GF doesn't have a job & hasn't for the entire 2 years I've known her & my cousin doesn't have one either (though has been struggling to find one). They are both going to be living w/ GF's family when baby arrives.

I know that having a car can be helpful when you have a baby but it's definitely not a necessity, especially when neither can afford to pay for it let alone provide for their own child. When I say everything has been brought for them, I mean everything! All brand new too courtesy of GF's family.

I see why you're miffed but what's done is done, you're going to have to buy a car unfortunately. In her eyes I suppose she's trying to help the person she sees needs it most.
I think your issue is more with your cousin and GF, it's not really to do with the car.

@Beargrin I know what you mean, I really don't hate them or anything but it kind of annoys me that neither have a job or have made much of an effort to get one & are still being given everything they want/need.

A lot of the baby things they have are unnecessary & she's always on FB posting pics of new things, top brands too.

I just feel it's a little unfair as I got no help from family when I moved out & paid for all my furniture, driving lessons, tests myself.

@Beargrin and I would have brought that car by the way, at the price decided, I wouldn't have expected it for free!

I completely empathise I also have a cousin who is a complete knob has been given everything while the rest of us struggle. Feel free to have a moan!
I think them being jobless somehow inspires people to feel bad for them and they keep the cycle going because they don't need a job so why would they get one!

@Beargrin it sounds awful but that's exactly how I feel! If you're too immature to not get a job how can you provide for your baby?🤦🏻‍♀️

It's a joke really that my family are just buying everything for them, I'm younger than them fgs. If I got pregnant I wouldn't expect anyone to pay a pound towards the child.

I understand your frustration, but I'm the long run you can be proud that you're working to provide for yourself, and you don't need to rely on family to do it for you.

If you were going to buy that car, what's stopping you from buying a different one for yourself? Just because it belonged to your relative doesn't mean it was any better maintained than something you'd buy from a dealer.

Same thing happened to me- Grandma gave the car to my younger cousin who was still learning to drive when I was looking to buy a new one. Absolutely no hard feelings on my part, I could afford to buy a car and he would never have managed it on his own. He was a student though, not an adult having a baby with his girlfriend when neither of them have jobs... I think this is more about that than it is about the car.

If you can afford that car then you can afford another too. Im not aware of any car shortages

You just have to hold on to the fact that you have have your head screwed on and they are a pair of twats. Good things will come to you OP.

Take pride in that you have got as far as you have on your own two feet. Galling as it is, at least you have the satisfaction that you are an independent adult

I had an acquaintance like this, never worked, constantly poor mouthed, and she got EVERYTHING handed to her. But people see through it eventually, OP and it's no way to support a family. I get why you are miffed but it will do them no good in the long run.

@longearedbat I've been looking at dealers around here and haven't found anything that new/nice for my budget (around £1000-15000). The car was brought last year and extremely new, low miles etc.

Also checked Facebook/dealership sites online and there's either something wrong with them that would need to be fixed or they're just not that nice.

@fruitbrewhaha thank you!

@Foslady so true. Can't believe they can just go about life at 24&25 years old with literally nothing to their name, neither finished education & barely worked. I sound like a huge bitch but it's helping getting this off my chest!

@krustykittens so true, they also admitted when they announced the pregnancy (we were all there as our family is super close) that they'd been 'trying for a while' 😂😂 my aunts face was an absolute picture, colour drained completely.

Can you not just ask your Grandma outright if you could buy it off her? Explain you have the licence and the cash and you could take it asap to save her any hassle?

Offer to buy car from cousin?

@Helplessfeeling I don't feel comfortable doing that as it's already spoken for. Also don't want loads of drama with my cousin if I end up actually taking it off him.

@RandomMess I'm not paying him £1500 for a car he didn't earn or buy himself.

It's worth around £1500

The car was brought last year and extremely new, low miles etc.

How's it only worth £1500 then?

But you want a decent reliable car, you know the background and you haven't been able to find one locally...

Not "fair" but a solution.

@Eliza9919 That's what my grandmother was apparently pricing it as before my cousin was given it.

I think it was potentially a second hand car maybe? It looks new though & came from a garage with no issues.

I might have it wrong that it was brand new actually as a PP said it would surely be worth more?

@RandomMess True, I just don't want the conflict for a start though, I can imagine I'd become hated in the family if I basically took it off them!

Also like I said, I don't feel comfortable handing over that kind of money to him when he doesn't deserve it, it's fine to my grandmother who actually brought it in the first place but not someone who literally just 'got it' for free.