Regarding wanting family members car?

[nighttimebrowser]

My grandmother recently gave up driving due to an eye condition and she has a lovely, new-ish small car that runs well.

My mum mentioned it to be and I casually said 'oh so what's she doing with the car?' and was told that it's being given to my cousin as he's having a baby in the October w/ his GF.

Bit of background, all us grandchildren (3- me, my sister & my cousin) are of driving age, my cousin & I are in our 20's.

I got my driving license recently and have been looking around for a car that's a good price, and is in good condition & I was 100% planning on paying for the car if it was available.

It's worth around £1500 & been given completely free to my cousin, who doesn't have a license and has failed the test a fair few times & doesn't have a job. (Apparently my aunt is going to be paying for it for him).

AIBU to be a bit upset? Here I am with a job, actual driving license the money to buy the car & pay for petrol, insurance regularly & everyone knows I've been looking for an affordable car.

My cousin has had everything given to him, they haven't bought anything for the baby themselves, GF doesn't have a job & hasn't for the entire 2 years I've known her & my cousin doesn't have one either (though has been struggling to find one). They are both going to be living w/ GF's family when baby arrives.

I know that having a car can be helpful when you have a baby but it's definitely not a necessity, especially when neither can afford to pay for it let alone provide for their own child. When I say everything has been brought for them, I mean everything! All brand new too courtesy of GF's family.

@PurpleCrazyHorse Thank you, that's so helpful and informative.

I don't NEED a car (I don't think many people do!) but it would help with regards to getting to work easier, doing shopping etc & not having to rely on (unreliable!) public transport.

I will definitely hold off on getting finance then as my DP has finance and like you said that could impact the mortgage application. We haven't spoken to an advisor yet as we're still saving for the deposit, early days.

@LuckyLou7 I wanted a FREEBIE?! Did you not read my OP? I'm in the market for a car and would have paid my grandmother for it thanks very much.

@TheABC You're right, thank you!
I couldn't deal with a baby right now regardless of financial ability as I'm definitely not emotionally ready.

Good luck to them, it seems like it's all going to come crashing down eventually!

@downcasteyes You're so right.

nighttime - It can feel a bit like you're trying to rationalise, or taking a "consolation prize" at first. BUT IT ISN'T!

My sibling was very much the favourite and has been given literally tens of thousands of pounds of financial support, as well as monopolising the emotional and practical support of our parents for 20 years. I'm now watching her as she struggles to live on her own at the age of 38 - she's all over the place and has no idea how to behave as an adult or how to be independent. It has not done her any favours.

If her family are so rich, I'm surprised they aren't buying a brand new car for them.

You're better off buying your own car OP.

Thank you for posting with such honesty op about your feelings regarding this situation.

I've a similar one except that its a whole house being given for free to my sibling.

I know part of the problem is that I wish there was a bit of me that could be a CF too and just say 'oh thanks for that' and then just sit about waiting for the next handout. I'm not even all that sure there was a thank you involved.

It's bloody hard when you think hard work will be the route to get you to where you want to be and then someone gets it handed on a plate by doing nothing.

I don't want a world like that at all!

@downcasteyes I agree, learning about money is so important, I remember going off to uni at 18 with no clue how to budget/even cook meals etc so it's great to learn and become independent.

That's so sad for her though at 38 years old.

@Innernutshell That's okay! Honestly I was scared I'd get called jealous and a bitch on here! I'm so glad there are many more reasonable adults who agree with me and have also helped me see that I am actually in a very fortunate position!

That's crazy, I'm so sorry that happened for you, it must be awful, I'd feel so pushed aside if my parents did something like that.

none of the rest of my family (sister & parents) could see my side

Maybe they're just too enmeshed into the narrative they're being fed; it's not always easy to accept that "helping someone" is actually doing anything but

If it makes you feel any better, my friend's family have just sold a whole house to one of their members who's just starting out - decent job, saving sensibly, the lot. Except that the buyer's cousin expected it for free. I can't describe her circumstances as we're not supposed to draw attention to such things on MN, but let's just say she expects everyone, and I mean everyone else to pay for her choices

@SandyY2K They aren't rich at all. Her older sister also lives at home with a baby. I think they must either have savings or use a lot of credit cards as it's only the dad that works.

I completely feel for you! I have a cousin like this. Can fall in shit and come out smelling of roses! Try not to let it get to you. You must remember you can say " I did this all by my self!" He won't be able to say that!

OP, we have been tentatively looking for a cheap run around and I was pleasantly surprised at the cost some of the main dealers charge for ex demonstrators. Make you self a nice cuppa and have a browse.

As PPs hav said, don’t feel too bad.

It sounds like you haven’t done much shopping around for cars yet, and don’t know much abou the options available. That car may not be sich a good deal after all.

Check with a financial adviser, but a nice little runaround with a warranty a low cost finance might be a better idea for you. Finance doesn’t mean a flashy motor you can’t afford. It can be a great option if you do the maths.

@longearedbat ooh sounds good! Thank you x

They are happy with family handouts. Take heart with the fact you've stood on own two feet.

I'd also offer money for car......

Yanbu op! Sleep well in the knowledge that you can legally drive a car when ever you want, your cousin will have a car sat waiting to be used for the odd driving lesson

Also atleast you can say you have got everything yourself , earned it unlike the spoiled cousin be proud

Brought =/= bought.

#missespointofthread

@Raspberrytruffle

Just keep reminding yourself:

Who's life would you rather live? Theirs or yours?

Easy question to answer, isn't it!