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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wash everyday?

558 replies

Brodiebirdy · 16/04/2019 13:17

I currently wash my hair every other day and on the days in between I just have a quick wash in the shower (I’m only in there for about 2 mins). I’m staying with my sister for the week and she says it’s a lot of water to use and that you don’t really need to wash every day- she says that every other day is fine. I just wondered if other people thought that washing everyday is too much? Thanks

OP posts:
Grammar · 18/04/2019 17:15

Mum of Tinies.
I really hope you don't get old, can't shower every day and have your family and extended family be disgusted by you, even when you wash.

How dare someone wash themselves in your bathroom.

I'm quite utterly disgusted with an approach such as this.

Thank goodness you CAN shower. Some in this world can't. But still need to exist and maintain their worth day to day. They are loved anyway.

hopefulhalf · 18/04/2019 17:17

Or the case of dn yesterday pink glitter

DeadWife · 18/04/2019 17:25

*As for my profession I require full face of make up and I must be clean
*
Would that be the oldest profession you're referring to? Tbf they did have a good douche in't olden days after work, just wondering where the full makeup comes into it.

Trying to think what profession requires makeup, and I'm guessing that's just the women you're referring to. Unless it's theatre work ?? Or TV?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/04/2019 17:26

I take my make up off with a wash cloth/flannel. I have a lovely basket with about 20 all neatly folded and they go in the wash after every use. For some reason it gives me great joy to see all my lovely folded flannels 😊

Grammar · 18/04/2019 17:29

Oh, i cant stop now.

Mum of Tinies
I'm sure you could'nt bring yourself to give a person a bed bath or wipe their bottom, when they've already had to relinquish all privacy and dignity as they've had to open their bowels on a commode, with just a curtain between they and others.
Life, death and everything in between IS minging.
But for the grace of God...
Please love your family whatever. Life can be a bugger and suddenly your nemesis may be upon you.

MumofTinies · 18/04/2019 17:35

Grammar my mother in law isn't a frail old woman, she is young mid 60s and very much has the option to use the shower or at least clean up after herself. I myself had a bedbath when I was hospitalised, it was probably the best wash I had ever had to be honest.
As I said in my first post I'm not going to tell her how to wash and I even provide the flannels for her. Tell me this, would you be happy to come into the bathroom to find the fannel your guest has used to wash their pits and bits with left in the sink when there is a washing basket in the same room and dirty water over the floor?

MumofTinies · 18/04/2019 17:38

Grammar

Oh dear, I have given a friend a bed bath in hospital and helped change her pads when the nurses were stupidly busy. Just day to day I would prefer a clean bathroom, don't read things into my post that aren't there.

Grammar · 18/04/2019 17:38

BTW I meant to add, that wasn' smug . Some people are carers, others aren't.
I know that and do not want to seem smug.

It's simply the profession I chose.

But nowadays, many of us have to inherit a carers role. Sad, but true. Not so 40 years ago, when we died before indignity set in.

MumofTinies · 18/04/2019 17:40

I would give MIL a bed bath if she needed one! What's wrong with privately prefering she would use the shower?

Grammar · 18/04/2019 17:51

Mum of Tinies
" don't read into things that aren't there " but they are aren't they? Your disgust is palpable.
Just remember, you will get old ( all things being equal).
And you yourself may be the person who is disgusted by you.
Tolerance, kindness and yes, I would not be have an't truck with picking up a used flannel, known to have been used by someone I loved, or other, and put it in the washing machine.
I wonder if you have yet to learn tolerance.
Everyone to their own, people were frugal in the old days, they had to be.
Be kind, always.

MumofTinies · 18/04/2019 17:59

Why shouldn't a grown woman who still goes to the gym, looks after her other grandkids a few days a week and has a part time job pick up her own damn flannel and clean up after herself? Bully for you that you can matyr yourself.

It's laughable that from my post you have decided that I'm an ageist monster who hates thier family, bloody joke.

Limensoda · 18/04/2019 18:14

I think people are far too sensitive to 'smells' now. Years ago people didn't use loads of perfume, air fresheners and fabric softeners. We were used to people smelling like people.
Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high...we choose people who smell of perfumes we like rather than relying on the scents that determined attraction to those suited to us Grin

Grammar · 18/04/2019 18:23

Mum of Tinies
" An ageist monster".
Only you have said that....

YesQueen · 18/04/2019 18:28

@Grammar so true. I have dealt with all that and more as a carer. Doesn't bother me, I will just get you clean and with dignity

YesQueen · 18/04/2019 18:34

Some people are scared of using the shower because they're worried about balance or slipping or getting cold or not being able to use the controls or 1000 other reasons. One of my clients hadn't showered for a decade because she had carers all that time and was terrified of being vulnerable/naked in front of them
With some persuasion, a lot of towels and me saying "I can't see anything, so no I can't hand you a flannel, you made me shut my eyes!" she had one and was very happy
But she never NEEDED one because she was thoroughly strip washed

There's a difference between waving a damp flannel with a hint of soap about and using very hot water with a lot of soap and some effort! I've had to do it after surgery and it was absolutely fine

MumofTinies · 18/04/2019 18:35

You have inferred it from your posts, for some reason you have fixated on age even though I have informed you my Mum in law is young for her age and is perfectly fit and healthy. My kids are little so they of course they need help with thier toileting and washing needs, but as teens if they left a fannel in the sink that they had used to wash thier bits and pits then I would be disgusted and make them clean it up. Nothing to do with MIL's age.

I get that as a carer you have a tough job to do, but I'm really confused as to why you are taking your frustration out on me.

Grammar · 18/04/2019 18:49

I think we can all learn from this thread.
There is so much wretchedness in life.

We need to appreciate the easy and good things, when we're young.. and embrace the different/ not so good things as we age and learn.

Cleanliness for me is a daily must, but for so many of our loved ones, it is a luxury, just like in the old days.

I appreciate my ability to keep myself clean, to be able to wash my clothes and the clothes of my family, but I know a time will come,when I will have to relinquish all of that, and accept that I cannot care for myself.
Mum of Tinies
NEVER, EVER, judge your in laws, they lived in and were brought up in a time different to yours.. probably instilled by their parents who I would imagine, were post war..
Kindness and tolerance, always, it makes life better!

Thissideof40 · 18/04/2019 19:17

I shower every day. I feel disgusting if I don’t.

Barbie222 · 18/04/2019 19:33

I think we've wandered off the point by highlighting the small minority of people who for whatever reason can't choose how they wash. The question was about healthy adults who make the choice not to. There are a lot of people who could wash but aren't in the habit or don't see why they should. If I was in the position where I was leaving flannels and a dirty sink in someone else's house through choice, I'd expect to hear about it, just as I would if I was rude in other ways.

YemenRoadYemen · 18/04/2019 20:24

I am constantly astonished at the amount of people on here who don't know how soap works.

It's not the soap that makes a shower preferable (note: referring to able-bodied people here) - it's the warm, running water, obviously.

If strip washes, with their flannels and soap, are so great/effective - why bother with showers, that involve running water sluicing the sweat/daily grime that you're trying to remove, right down the drain?

Kindness and tolerance

There you go, MumofTinies - you've been told! You must be much more tolerant and understanding of your poor, wretched MIL leaving her flannel in the sink of water, and drops all over the floor for you to deal with!

YemenRoadYemen · 18/04/2019 20:25

It's not just the soap that makes a shower preferable.

LuvSmallDogs · 18/04/2019 20:30

I have a strip wash every other day. When I’ve been running late I’ve even used baby wipes on the vitals! ‘Twas how I was brought up in Ye Olde 90s - wet wipes and all!

LaurieMarlow · 18/04/2019 20:35

It's not just the soap that makes a shower preferable.

The point is that a strip wash (done properly) is perfectly hygienic.

I’d agree that a shower or bath is a pleasanter experience, but others may not, who knows? I also don’t think too many people are strip washing all the time (if perfectly able bodied) it’s more an occasional thing.

A strip wash is much more water efficient, which is important to some.

YemenRoadYemen · 18/04/2019 21:01

It's nice to think that people are having strip washes because they're concerned about saving water.

They're simply not as effective as a hot (warm) shower.

LaurieMarlow · 18/04/2019 21:05

They're simply not as effective as a hot (warm) shower.

I expect they are if done thoroughly, the old school way.

Though I also expect most people nowadays don’t do them like that and don’t need them to be that effective.

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