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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is a f*%+ing AH for calling me lazy early pregnancy for lying around on holiday?

58 replies

Mamabear12 · 15/04/2019 22:35

I am furious. Basically pregnant with 3rd dc. Very early stages (just got positive yesterday) and husband calls me lazy for taking a nap and lying in bed most of the afternoon? I woke 6:30am got kids ready for breakfast, took them to beach and pool. Had them all morning while he stayed in the room working. Then he took over. Took my son to golf and was Carless not watching him so ds got hit in the head with a golf ball. So I got mad at that. Ds has dilated pupils etc. I’ve called reception to send a doctor as his pupils are different size so I’m a little concerned. Other then that he is fine. So anyway, he keeps saying how lazy I am etc. I am furious. He hasn’t asked once how I feel since finding out. In my last pregnancies he treated me as normal. I wish he would at least be more caring or thoughtful when I’m pregnant! So now I’m sitting next to my sleeping son waiting for the doctor to come and I’m furious. Please, help calm me down. This anxiety over my son/ anger at my husband for calling me lazy and acting like I’m crazy for wanting the doctor to look at him.

OP posts:
Poppy43 · 15/04/2019 22:37

Yanbu, not at all.

Mommaof2x · 15/04/2019 22:38

I think you both sound stressed, tell him how much it’s annoyed you when you are both calm and when your son is ok, hope he is ok!

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 15/04/2019 22:39

Forgot to mention during second pregnancy I was extremely tired early on even before I got a positive. It has something to do with hormones I think. And also, as I’m not drinking my usual two cups of coffee a day now that also probably adds to it. And yet my dh has no consideration for me. Wish he would stop being such a dick.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamabear12 · 15/04/2019 22:43

And yes, I think we are both stressed so making it worse. Maybe more so me being stressed over my poor ds and being angry that dh was so careless. He should have had him close by and behind the person taking a swing. I’m just really upset now. With knots in my tummy. And I know it’s probably not good for pregnancy! I have both my dc sleeping next to me in bed. My dh in the other room saying we will never go on holiday again unless I cancel the doctor.

I might be over reacting wanting a doctor. It costs 170, which I’m happy to pay. My ds has been fine in every way except the big bump and bruise on his head and now one pupils bigger then the other which is the reason for me wanting the doctor to look at him.

OP posts:
SquishySquirmy · 15/04/2019 22:45

Yanbu.
I found early pregnancy the hardest - far more tiring than late pregnancy. But some people expect that because you look less pregnant, you should feel less pregnant. It doesn't work like that!

I hope your son is ok. Flowers

MoreHairyThanScary · 15/04/2019 22:49

I think the difference in pupil size is a significant issue and one you are not unreasonable to be worried about. Put your worries with sh to one side for the minute and focus on your ds. Hope the doctor arrives soon x

NewMinouMinou · 15/04/2019 22:52

How’s your son?

SquishySquirmy · 15/04/2019 22:52

And I think you are right to call a doctor - sure that your dad is fine, but it's always best to check with head injuries, if only for your peace of mind.

£170 is well worth it, as the alternative would be you worrying the rest of the night, and probably the next day too.

He sounds like more of an arse in your update too.
Leaving his pregnant wife in a bed with his 2 kids (1 injured) while he sulks in the other room? What a prince!

FannyFifer · 15/04/2019 22:52

Is son awake & responding?
If he has had a significant blow to the head which it sounds like he has, unequal pupils are something I would most definitely be going straight to hospital with.

SquishySquirmy · 15/04/2019 22:52

Ds not dad, stupid autocorrect!

Greeborising · 15/04/2019 22:54

Where are you on holiday?
Has the doctor come yet?
Sorry to sound alarmist but I think your son being seen is your priority right now.
Unequal pupils following a head injury should not be taken lightly.
Please do not listen to your husband about not needing a doctor x

CommunistLegoBloc · 15/04/2019 22:55

Unequal pupils is a sign of brain trauma. If you’ve assessed DS correctly then I don’t know why you’re posting about being cross with your husband - you should be on the way to hospital.

RomanyQueen1 · 15/04/2019 22:57

Hope your ds is ok, he needs medical attention.
tell your dh to fuck right off. Who wants to be with a man who takes work on holiday and treats his family like shit.
What a twat, you all deserve better.

Weathermonger · 15/04/2019 23:07

First, I hope your son is ok. Second, In my first pregnancy I mentioned to my doctor about how tired I was all the time. She explained that the energy a mother expends to grow the fetus was on par with a person climbing Mount Everest. You have every reason to rest and definitely not be considered lazy.

longtimelurkerhelen · 15/04/2019 23:12

You need to wake your son up and keep him awake until the doctor gets there or you take him to hospital. It sounds like concussion.

Hope he is okay.

justilou1 · 15/04/2019 23:20

Your son’s symptoms are not insignificant. You are right to get a doctor. I am studying nursing. I would consider taking him to A&E as I suspect he has a head injury. Your husband is being a jerk.

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 15/04/2019 23:21

Hi everyone. The doctor has just seen him and thinks he is fine, but said to keep monitoring, as head injuries could have delayed problems. He said the most crucial time is right after and as time goes on less likely. So first few hours (which have passed already). But need to monitor closely for the next 3 days. He said when shining the light on his eyes they had proper reaction so should be fine. I’m sleeping in bed w my dc and set the alarm to wake in a couple hours to check my ds again. Doctor said to open eyes and look at pupils for reaction when light shines on them. I’m feeling a little better. But will probably be anxious for the next 3 days. And husband is still being a jerk in the next room. Furious at him. I shouted at him and my poor kids had to witness is fighting as hotel room doesn’t allow for us to move away.

OP posts:
QOD · 15/04/2019 23:22

If you prod him does he stir?

Greeborising · 15/04/2019 23:27

Thanks for update op.
Waking in a couple of hours is sensible, don’t leave him to sleep all night without checking.
Your husband has behaved appallingly.
I wouldn’t give him any of my time and energy at the moment.
You have more important things to be concerned with

timeisnotaline · 15/04/2019 23:32

You were spot on for getting a doctor. To try and be as generous as possible, could he be angry as a defensive mechanism because he feels guilty ds got hurt and doesn’t want to acknowledge it?

justilou1 · 16/04/2019 03:21

Doesn’t mean he is not an AH.

Blondebakingmumma · 16/04/2019 03:31

I can’t believe how selfish your ‘d’h is being! Sick kids trumps anything else

Ihatehashtags · 16/04/2019 04:22

Did your OH want a third baby?

Divgirl2 · 16/04/2019 04:28

I'm confused - are they his children? You keep saying "my ds".

I'm going to be blunt - it doesn't sound like he's entirely happy with the idea of baby number 3. Were you trying or was it a surprise?

bubbleobill · 16/04/2019 05:15

Why are with someone who treats you like this? I don't get it.

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