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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving a child to drink

118 replies

GrandTheftWalrus · 15/04/2019 00:02

One of my friends just admitted she leaves her 1 year old sleeping to go to the pub!

I have a 2 year old and I feel guilty at leaving her to go along to to the bin shute

Is this normal or am I right to be horrified?

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 15/04/2019 09:13

have you phoned ss yet op?

Lizzie48 · 15/04/2019 09:15

*SHE IS NOT A GOOD MUM.

I can't possibly shout that loud enough.*

I agree, this is shocking. I can't see how anyone would see this as being a good mum.

Original poster
GrandTheftWalrus · 15/04/2019 11:22

Right ill give them a phone. However i dont have exact dates that she goes. The pub is a 5 min walk from her house

I dont appreciate being called thick as shit though because i asked a question.

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 15/04/2019 11:26

There's no way on Earth that is normal. I agree with others saying she is not a good mum. Part of being a "good mum" is making sacrifices and if that means you have no childcare to go the pub, you stay in. She's a disgraceful parent.

IceIceCoffee · 15/04/2019 11:32

On mumsnet the parenting do’s and fonts are weird I remember one post with some horse owners defending a baby being left alone in the car out of sight for up to an hour whilst the mum mucked her horse out so I do slightly get your question o.p however this is basic parenting that she’s failing at ss intervention is needed

Eliza9919 · 15/04/2019 15:21

Does she do coke op?

littlenit · 15/04/2019 16:53

This is abuse and a massive safeguarding risk. You need to report this

Daisychainsandglitter · 15/04/2019 17:24

I'm absolutely gobsmacked!
That is so negligent anything could happen. What is she thinking?! That is definitely a SS referral

Biancadelrioisback · 15/04/2019 17:28

So did you ring them OP?

QueenBeex · 15/04/2019 17:36

OP ignore the name calling and insults directed at you.
You're doing the right thing by reporting it.
You're just here asking for advice and you're doing what everyone's told you to do, reporting it. Honestly let the shitty comments go over your head.

Greatbigterribleshart · 15/04/2019 17:38

Police and social services turned up to my neighbours leaving their 7 year old for half an hour whilst one went to work and the other came home from a nightshift.

It's not true that they won't do anything for a 1 year old being left so mum can go to the pub regardless of if the child is asleep or not.

Hollowvictory · 15/04/2019 17:40

She's an irresponsible idiot

MrsJDornan · 15/04/2019 17:42

You are doing the right thing by caring social services Op

MrsJDornan · 15/04/2019 17:42

*calling

RightOnTheEdge · 15/04/2019 17:56

PP can't be serious about SS being too busy to bother with this surely? It's a terrible thing to do.

About 11 of clock being closing time though, I work in a pub and we stop serving at midnight. 1am on Friday and Saturday and it's a small market town not a busy city.

StarlaP · 15/04/2019 18:26

I was once in the house with the kids and needed to make an urgent phone call, I didn’t have a house phone and my mobile had suddenly frozen up and wouldn’t do a dam thing. I eventually decided to make a mad dash to a payphone that was on the next street to mine, all 3 kids (under 5) were sleeping soundly. I ran all the way there and all the way back, was gone about 5mins all in. Almost 10 years later and I still feel guilty about leaving them, my heart pounded so hard when I was gone that I genuinely thought I’d have a bruise right on my chest.

If it hadn’t have been an emergency I would never have done it. A good parent just wouldn’t. So no, she’s not a good mum I’m sorry. If she’s doing it and doesn’t even feel bad or guilty about it that’s even worse. Her poor baby. Social services need to be informed. Anything could happen to the little one, it’s just not worth the risk.

kb1992 · 16/04/2019 15:20

Definitely call social services!

DM1209 · 16/04/2019 15:29

My best friend is a Solicitor that specialises in Child Protection. Through her, I have seen far too many children belonging to 'good parents' where the parent(s) has gone out and something terrible has happened to the child and of course the mental anguish of a small child waking up alone in the middle of the night.

One case that sticks out in my mind is a fire, a 14 month old little girl died, father wasn't with the mother and she'd gone out with friends because she felt she deserved to relax too. The fire was started intentionally by someone who was annoyed with the mother. If she had been at home, her baby would have stood a chance!

Also, what if something happened to her while she was out!? How long before the alarm is raised for the wellbeing of the child?

This is neglect and if she is a good mum then perhaps all she will require is some parenting classes, SS monitoring and all will be well. The alternative does not bear thinking about. Please report this.

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