To ask what weird/stupid stuff you did as a kid

[Bantameggs]

I think I was a bit of a strange child although maybe I’m not the only one.

One of my favourite things to do aged about 5/6 was to steal a bar of soap and some scissors, find a corner to hide in and shave wafer thin slices of soap off until there was nothing but a big pile of soap flakes. I got into trouble every time but it didn’t stop me.

Our family car had two rear facing seats at the back and if I was sitting there I used sit dead still and make blank-faced unblinking eye contact with the people behind for as long as possible. I think I managed it for about an hour once.

Once aged about 10 I set out to drink as much water as possible just to see how much I could drink. I managed a few litres (I’m aware now that I could have killed myself)

I brought a large dehydrated dead fish I’d found on the beach to show and tell at school when I was 7. Unfortunately it was the last day before the summer holidays and I accidentally left it behind. I think they had to get someone to come in in the end to deal with the terrible smell.

When I was 12 I coloured my entire face in with bright pink lipstick. It took about two days to get rid of completely.

Was anyone else a little weirdo? I think I’m pretty normal now btw!

@smotheroffive

You have just given me flashbacks of doing this in the bath’ I had honestly forgotten.

We had a bookshelf above our bath and I managed to hit it with my spray.

Filing that under reasons not to have a bookshelf in our bathroom 😂😂😂

Scared of the toilet, thought it would eat me til at least 8 or 9. Got a quater stick of dynamite and set it off in the woods. Shock wave took out a dozen windows in a school nearby. Buried my and my moms flip flops at the beach to keep em safe. Forgot where they were and we had to walk home 4 miles barefoot, mom hated it but it grew a interest in me as I loved the feeling, been barefoot now for 40 years. Set a fire in a tin can. Heard someone coming so blew it out, the flames took off my eyebrows and most of my fringe. Made soda and vinegar bombs a friend threw one near me and put 7 homes in my clothes, not a scratch tho. Made Dutchy arrows with same friend. Its a narrow u launch with string like a slingshot. It went through his leg... some are too bad to type so I'll save them for my son after a few beers when he's old enough lol

Every week I would get the local paper and go to the For Sale section. I would take an A4 sheet of paper and divide it into 6 - living room, kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms and a garden. Then I would "furnish" It from the items for sale, totaling up the cost of each room and the total cost of furnishing the house from second hand goods.

I now work in accounts 😂

Two empty crisp packets. Made great roller skates on the carpet.

Used to pretend to be a dog. I’d spend hours upstairs wandering about on all fours lapping occasionally from a bowl of milk. Once, I tried to go downstairs on all fours. Obviously I fell down, head first. I pretended to my mum I’d tripped.

When I wasn’t lapping milk from a bowl I’d mush up pink loo roll with water in a dish to look like dog meat. I didn’t eat it; just pretended to.

I’d narrate my life in a whisper, as if I was in a film with a voiceover.

I thought smoking was the height of sophistication so I’d roll up paper, push it between the bars of the electric bar heater in my bedroom so the end caught light, then blow it out and “smoke” my huge home made “cigarette”. Tasted awful and my mum found the “butts” once and went BALLISTIC 😳

I was pony mad and when we went to visit my grandad (whose settee sat in the middle of the room rather than against the wall) I would make a cushion “saddle”, loop done string over the end for “reins” and force my mum to sit there for HOURS while I did imaginary showjumping courses. God love her she must have been bored out of her skull and she couldn’t even sneakily read the paper with just the occasional murmur of admiration. Oh no - she had to give a running commentary with marks out of ten for every jump. I would take offence if I scored less than 10/10 but equally, feeling patronised displeased me so the poor woman couldn’t win really.

Omg YY to crisp packet roller skates 😁😁

When I went to the loo, I had to make it downstairs before the flush finished or else the monsters would get me.

Me and my friend wet the bath and soaped the back of it , got naked and had great fun using it as a slide, until we noticed the skid mark as my friend had been for a poo!!! Game came to a sudden end😂
Once decided to pick up dog poo in the garden and throw it at next doors washing!! Even got a good shot down a shirt sleeve! Neighbour came round to say our dog had obviously been over the wall and pooed in her washing. I remember my Dad saying 'Stupid woman, the dog can't get over the wall'. So got away with it. They were horrible neighbours anyway!!
Once did a poo up a tree! Yes I/we were strange children.
There's a poo theme here, still find poo humour funny.

I used to float round the garden talking to the rose bushes and pretending they were my subjects.

Oh and limp down the road hoping people would notice and feel sorry for me 😳

When I went to the loo, I had to make it downstairs before the flush finished or else the monsters would get me.

Me too!

Possibly outing but oh well:

My parents and the neighbour across the road both watched coronation street. After I went to bed, my parents would have the TV on loud I could hear it. My neighbour had the curtains open so I could watch it too. I would often smuggle up a snack as well: a dry oxo cube which I’d crumble and munch on.

Ooh talking of dog poo..... went with my mum to visit a friend of hers and while they were yakking, went out the front to pick daisies. Found some white chalk in the grass and started drawing on the path but was interrupted by my mum, erupting from the house in a panic and screeching at me to put it down because it wasn’t chalk but a white dog poo 🤭

Me and my sister used to play hide and seek in the back of the car on long journeys, god knows how!!

We also used to twirl tissues into long thin points and stick them up our noses to make ourselves sneeze. Very odd children.

Walked through what seemed to be a fiver of cow shit at an uncle's farm.

I have a VERY active imagination! As a child I would make up the craziest of stories in my head and alter and change them as I got older. Then around 15/16 I got really into my vampire books. I began thinking about vampire a lot. It got so bad I was convinced for about a month there was a vampire out for me. I spent a lot of time looking over my shoulder and would double check my windows were locked and everything!
As an adult my daydream mostly focus around boring things 😂 x

Ate Bonjela.

I gouged a hole in the bar of soap as a child and got told off for it. I couldn't understand why it was such a problem. Now that my own children do it I can!

I used to cut the crusts off a slice of bread, roll it out as thin as I could, sprinkle the surface with sugar, roll it up and eat it.

We used to make "perfume" by picking daisies, rose petals and other flowers and mix them around in a big jug of water.

We used to play "posh restaurants" and serve our Pot Noodles on big plates to eat with the nice cutlery

I haven’t RTFT so this may be a repeat of someone else, or you may all think I’m a psychopathic animal abuser, but I used to kick limpets off rocks at the beach, and then stick them to the heel of my shoes so it was like “high heels” 🙄

Just remembered I use to play 'travel agent' and take an order for flights and write out my airplane tickets!

I used to lie facing the window on the top bunk and watch all the lights come on in the houses across the way. I didn’t like to see actual people, it wasn’t voyeuristic, it was just nice to count lights and could only sleep when I got up to about 20 or so.

@NillyNally I STILL narrate my own life in my head.

Looking in my friend's bottom when she needed a poo. Not good. Had to stay home the next day

I drew all over my favourite dolls ear because in my head she was deaf and needed a hearing aid.

When it rained in the car, I'd look out the window and pretend I was in a music video.

I have a memory of speaking to the agony aunt on this morning when small. I have no idea if I called the number or imagined I was the caller.

I cried so loud and hard at a pantomime sad song, the singer got flustered and tried to make it sound cheerful to shut me up.

I used to talk to appliances and ask them not to explode or stop working while in use (still apologise and pet my car dash if I grind gears or strike a kerb)

After seeing my mum change a pad I would stick balls of toilet paper up my foof. I must have been really young cos she had a hysterectomy when I was just turned 5

I had a 'boyfriend' who was 25 when I was 3 (Grans neighbour) . I now realise why he always kept quite a distance from me and only chatted with others around. I remember his amused but embarrassed face although I was clueless at the time.

I collected rocks and made them beds to sleep in. My mum doesn't know they are still in her loft.