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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dwp 3rd compliance meeting

108 replies

Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 16:58

Hi everyone I'm looking for advice plz . I went to my 3rd compliance meeting over being reported that my partner lives with me when he doesnt. We have a son together and he stays 2-3 nights a week and goes. We have thought about moving on together but I'm not ready for that. They are ringing me tomorrow to see if I want to change my circumstances and close the case. If not they say there is a financial connection to him at my house which they wont tell me about and will file for me to have a meeting under caution and be prosecuted. I've told them I've done nothing wrong but they believe that due to my son's age and the time I have alleged had him moved In they believe there is a case. I've not eaten or slept and I've booked to see a solicitor . Any advice would be appreciated many thanks

OP posts:
ArnoldBee · 14/04/2019 17:01

From what you've posted here you are committing benefit fraud.

SinkGirl · 14/04/2019 17:03

Do you both rent / own separate properties? Do you have evidence of this?

Has your boyfriend got any connection to your property (eg applied for benefits, credit, phone contract etc) from there?

I hope you can get some legal advice and it helps, sounds very stressful Flowers

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 14/04/2019 17:03

How ? She is entitled to have somebody stay in her house up to 3 nights pw. Anymore than that, and its classed as living together

kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:03

Does he contribute financially to your household? Does he pay regular child maintenance? Does he have any post sent to your household? Do you go on holidays together? Do you share a car or any other bills?
You might want to get an Experian report to see if he is listed as a financial connection.

Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 17:05

No he pays nothing. I pay for all my Bills etc. X

OP posts:
ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 14/04/2019 17:05

Is there a financial association at your address?
Does he rent elsewhere and can you provide this address with utilities and council tax etc?

kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:06

What is his housing situation? Does he leave any clothes, toiletries etc at yours?

GeorgeTheFirst · 14/04/2019 17:06

If he rents elsewhere and can prove it you will be fine. Or does he live with his mum?

Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 17:06

Everything for the house is in my name and he is registered at his uncles,but he pays towards his uncles house in cash so theres no d/ds so they have said technically he has no fixed abode. I've checked my noddle account and theres no financial links

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:07

Does he pay child maintenance? (Not sure if you saw it first time). A non resident parent should be paying child maintenance.

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:07

She is entitled to have somebody stay in her house up to 3 nights pw

This isn't true there is no maximum or minimum nights per week that someone is allowed to stay.

kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:08

You say he's 'registered' at his uncles which is a strange turn of phrase. Surely he lives there?

Oldbutstillgotit · 14/04/2019 17:08

I do wish people would stop saying that it’s ok to have someone staying over 3 nights a week! It’s not! Compliance Officers look at a range of circumstances and clearly they have found something that links your BF to your house . Does he use your address for mail ? His work ?

kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:08

Check Experian. Noddle is crap

Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 17:09

Yes he lives there but the woman who interviewed me said he is registered there but its classes as no fixed abode

OP posts:
theWarOnPeace · 14/04/2019 17:09

Look at it from their perspective. The benefits are there for the most vulnerable, and they have a duty to make sure that taxpayers money is used lawfully. You’re in a relationship with your child’s father but are aiming to keep in the benefits threshold for a single parent, and you’re with someone who contributes nothing to the upkeep of his child/family. Am I understanding that right?

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:09

Does he work. Does he pay maintenance. How old is son?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/04/2019 17:10

I couldnt be 100% certain, but I think even they stay over just one day a week. You're classed as a couple.
I've got no particular love for the DWP. However if he's staying 3 nights a week of course they're going to think you're a couple.
If he doesn't pay bills I'll assume his name isn't on anything connecting h to your address so some snivelling rat must have blew you out the water. Be very careful who you trust in future

ceecee32 · 14/04/2019 17:11

@kaytee87
Sorry but are completely wrong. A lot of people believe that there is a 3 night rule but that is an urban myth.
Compare that to a long distance lorry driver, someone who works on the rigs or in the military. They may only be home 2 or 3 nights a week but it is still their home.
The problem that the OP is having is that the father of her child stays there 3 nights a week and does not have any other address that he can prove that he pays for.

kaytee87 · 14/04/2019 17:14

@ceecee32 I think you've tagged me by mistake. I didn't mention anything about 3 nights.

Ellisandra · 14/04/2019 17:15

What a shame for your son that you have a good enough relationship with his father to call him your partner on here, and have him stay over for 3 nights a week, yet don’t live together.

Nothing against separated parents - I am one. But I’d love circumstances to be different and for my kids to have both parents in one home with them.

I’m not surprised DWP think you are actually living together. He’s not exactly settled elsewhere if he’s crashing at his uncle’s “for cash” when he’s not living with you.

Why don’t you actually live together full time?

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 14/04/2019 17:16

This happened to my friend and the benefits stopped. As I recall him being the father of her child made it harder to prove they weren’t a couple.

Houseonahill · 14/04/2019 17:16

To them it sounds like you don't want him to move in so you can keep your benefits. You have a child with someone and are in what sounds like a happy relationship but you don't want to live with him. I'm not saying that is the case but it's what they will be thinking. Does he pay maintenance through an official channel? I think that would be your only hope in proving them wrong.

Basketly · 14/04/2019 17:17

Don’t admit to anything OP.

They are refusing to show their hand, if there is nothing and I mean nothing that you can think of, keep your mouth shut and get a solicitor

Fruityfruitcake · 14/04/2019 17:19

How long has this been going for, him staying over but not living with you?

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