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Original poster

Dwp 3rd compliance meeting

108 replies

Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 16:58

Hi everyone I'm looking for advice plz . I went to my 3rd compliance meeting over being reported that my partner lives with me when he doesnt. We have a son together and he stays 2-3 nights a week and goes. We have thought about moving on together but I'm not ready for that. They are ringing me tomorrow to see if I want to change my circumstances and close the case. If not they say there is a financial connection to him at my house which they wont tell me about and will file for me to have a meeting under caution and be prosecuted. I've told them I've done nothing wrong but they believe that due to my son's age and the time I have alleged had him moved In they believe there is a case. I've not eaten or slept and I've booked to see a solicitor . Any advice would be appreciated many thanks

OP posts:
Basketly · 14/04/2019 17:19

Maybe they couldn’t afford to live if he moves in and she loses her benefits?

Maybe he’s a bit of a wanker and she doesn’t want to live with him, but this way her son gets to see his dad for a few nights a week

Maybe people who struggle through life don’t have the luxury of worrying about who’s paying their benefits

Romax · 14/04/2019 17:24

What do you mean he’s registered there?

Why doesn’t he get a tenancy agreement sorted with his uncle and pay standing order do evidence

I know why... because he lives mainly with you!

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 14/04/2019 17:25

I had a relative in this situation she recieved ESA and was told the father of her child was not allowed to stay ANY nights. Even if one night a week, she was then no longer classed as a single person for that one night and would be liable to pay it back.
Unless it was exceptional circumstances such as illness then nope, no nights.
The 3 night a week thing is only counted for housing benefit.

Sorry you're in this position OP, don't let them back you into a corner and no you are not commiting benefit fraud Hmm

Fairylea · 14/04/2019 17:25

He needs to be setting up some sort of bank transfer or standing order to pay his uncle so he can prove he’s paying rent elsewhere. Without that, I think you might struggle to be honest.

SileneOliveira · 14/04/2019 17:27

She is entitled to have somebody stay in her house up to 3 nights pw. Anymore than that, and its classed as living together

That's such a myth.

AFAIK it goes a LOT deeper than that. It's about whether they're seen as a couple, have children together, have shared property, receive shared Chistmas cards - a huge range of factors.

If the "3 night rule" was actually a thing, then all the mums whose partners work away monday-friday and are only home friday/saturday/sunday night would in fact be single.

Original poster
Ladyluk · 14/04/2019 17:27

I dont want him to move due to domestic violence previous. I dont want to be on benefits! I lost my job due to domestic violence and I'm going back to work. Everything I've done beforehand I've been honest and upfront about and dont intend to swindle the system!

OP posts:
MummytoCSJH · 14/04/2019 17:27

I won't say either way what I think, but for the purposes of the meeting, I'd keep quiet. He must have some proof of address at his uncles, otherwise where does he get his post, where does he pay council tax, where do work have as his address etc. He cannot be completely off grid. In which case you can prove he doesnt live with you. If you really think you don't live together and there's nothing proving or suggesting he would, just wait and see what their 'evidence' is.

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:28

Domestic abuse with him?

MrsJDornan · 14/04/2019 17:33

How old is your son?

They must have a strong case to be continuing the investigation are you sure there is nothing that links him? They've said financial have you thought of everything

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 14/04/2019 17:33

In all fairness, you are in a stable relationship with him, have a child together, and he habitually "stays" with you and your joint child "2 or 3" nights a week, but you are choosing to be supported by benefits rather than by him. Even if he really is living at his mother's house (hmm), you must be able to see why they do not believe you are single.

Peanutbutterforever · 14/04/2019 17:35

You're playing the system.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/04/2019 17:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JaneEyre07 · 14/04/2019 17:38

You must think we're all as stupid as the DWP.....

No wonder you were reported.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/04/2019 17:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Basketly · 14/04/2019 17:40

OP you may well be playing the system.

But you’re working class so it’s not allowed...

Annana15 · 14/04/2019 17:41

Hi, please know there is no '3 day rule' about having someone stay, if they have evidence you will lose the case, no doubt. I am afraid.

PanamaPattie · 14/04/2019 17:43

He living with you and pretending to "be registered" at his uncles. Can you not see what the DWP are saying? If I stayed with you 3 nights a week, eating with you and sharing your home - would you charge me bed and board - like a lodger?

Basketly · 14/04/2019 17:43

Arf at “benefits are a safety net for the poor and vulnerable” shit

No they aren’t. They support great swathes of the population to live on shit wages and not starve day to day. Working people, people who are mortgaged to the hilt, single mums, families, people who work 40hrs a week.

Housing benefit
CTC
WTC
CB

Literally the only benefit that is any kind of emergency safety net is income support and that is paid to a tiny amount of people

Millions of us live with the help of benefits

Fairylea · 14/04/2019 17:45

If there was domestic abuse you need to get rid of him and never see him again.

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:46

Id really like clarification on age of son and whether domestic abuse was prev relationship.

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:50

Btw ex DWP and it's not looking too good o be honest.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/04/2019 17:52

He needs to be setting up some sort of bank transfer or standing order to pay his uncle so he can prove he’s paying rent elsewhere

I suspect it's probably too late for that and that a standing order made now would be seen as contrived at best

Clearly they don't believe OP - they've heard this story countless times before, though though it's not her fault - so the only hope is to find proof that the DP mainly resides elsewhere

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/04/2019 17:53

Sorry - should have read "though that's not her fault"

OMGIwonacar · 14/04/2019 17:53

Is Uncle claiming single occupancy rate on council tax?

Where's partner registered to vote?

SileneOliveira · 14/04/2019 17:55

How's it not her fault?