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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Throwing away books...

165 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2019 14:06

Collecting DC from the nursery, parents behind me discussing what they'll come out with.

One says she hopes it isn't a book, she hates it.
The friend asks if she means the weekly reading book and she clarifies no, a gift book (like they had at Christmas)
She goes on to say that she just bins them and other one comments she bags them all away (presumably to chuck or donate)

Kids got a Mr Men book at Christmas so not crap books by any stretch.

I wish i'd said something to her (like, then bloody donate it you silly woman, don't throw a decent book in the bin) but I was just so astounded. Utterly flummoxed as to why you'd resent a free book (and a nice book at that!!) and bin it rather than donate or, you know, USE it!!

AIBU to not understand her ire?

OP posts:
Yabbers · 13/04/2019 01:19

I suspect I know enough to guess correctly they're not in the "golly our house will simply burst with one more book" or "we learn them all by heart" category. and we're a typical estate primary

And yet...

you know working class people can read too right?? No one has ever confused me for Middle Class

So how are you classing these people you feel it’s ok to judge?

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 13/04/2019 01:26

I think books and reading often become a competition with parents. The only acceptable answer to 'how often do you read to your child?' is 'everday' and god forbid you don't listen to a primary child read everyday. And have shelves and shelves of books!

I work in primary schools. The difference between kids who can read and those who can't in about yrs 1 - 3 is palpable. And the difference is practice. It really is that simple. Yes, schools teach children to read. But learning/actually being able to read comes with practice and repetition, and schools don't have time to do this with every child, so it falls on home. Schools can totally, totally tell who reads with their children/who listens to them read and who doesn't.
So if you want your child to be able to read, then read with them. It's 5 mins per day. But make that time... do it; practice it; consolidate it. You read to them, they read to you. And if you give them a love of reading as well, then that's a bonus.

@ TheSandman
No, love. You don't. I'm sure you wish you could, but you can't. It's because you're working class and your kind can't read or own a book. It's just not in your genetic make-up.
NetMums is -> that way.
Hope this helps, hun!

HowManyFlatCaps · 13/04/2019 01:52

Charity shops don't want book donations because they can't shift their stock because they charge two pounds sodding fifty for a paperback now. I'm not going to take a punt on a charity shop book at that price.

edwinbear · 13/04/2019 01:57

Wow. Congrats on being such a perfect parent OP. Do you feel validated by this thread?

IncyWincyGrownUp · 13/04/2019 02:10

I filled the recycling bin with books a few months ago. Old annuals mostly, and books that were very much past their best. Sent perhaps the same number to the charity shop too.

The many books left seem to be multiplying to fill the gaps though, there are still trillions of them!

sashh · 13/04/2019 02:58

I'll just leave this here for any books that are not being donated to charity shops.

www.bookcrossing.com/

I do most of my reading on my kindle(s) but I have proper books for cookery and from teaching. If I were to judge me on my book shelves I would probably think I had problems.

NerrSnerr · 13/04/2019 03:25

My children get nightly bedtime stories and my daughter reads her school books daily but I do raise my eyebrows at the very loud 'oh we love books in our house' statements you hear (it's always 'books' and not 'reading').

We regularly donate children's books because there are some we get given that the children are not interested in. There's no point in keeping them, they are just clutter if not being read.

NerrSnerr · 13/04/2019 03:26

My local charity shops do take books. The library does too (as it's charity run)

MarthasGinYard · 13/04/2019 03:46

Hate the thought of books being binned Sad

Our charity shops accept books and sell them for a few pence.

I always take ours there or into school.

theWarOnPeace · 13/04/2019 04:28

Only book I’ve ever binned (recycled) was Gina Ford... hated it.

randomsabreuse · 13/04/2019 04:35

I've binned a book after it went for a swim in the toilet thanks to my then 18mo... other than that there's been a couple that really needed binning (children's books such as "you do") but I think I put them in the charity box at the top at the last minute as I couldn't make myself bin them!

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 13/04/2019 07:18

So how are you classing these people you feel it’s ok to judge? erm, personality, knowing her? I mean I have more access to her personality than her socioeconomic status. DH would put us in the "golly, one more book... category and I'm in the we learn them all by heart and make up new ones on the bus* category. I have access to my socioeconomic status. Non working Mum in a low income family in rented accommodation. Definately working class. Still, contrary to some opinions, enjoy reading.

OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 13/04/2019 07:21

Actually I feel heartened Edwin to know how many books are living our their retirement on a bookshelf, safe from bean juice. An unread book is a life unread, even the badly written ones should be allowed to see the light once (except American Psycho. Stupid book)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 13/04/2019 07:23

Loving books and having overflowing book cases seems to be a thing mners are particularly proud of, was all I meant.
We recently threw books away at work. Guide to access 97 etc :o

BertrandRussell · 13/04/2019 07:23

Please can someone explain to me why it’s wrong to bin books? Obviously, as with any other object, it’s better to pass on or donate, but for the millions of books unsuitable for this why not bin/recycle?

StealthPolarBear · 13/04/2019 07:25

Bean juice on characters was an inspired suggestion! Although if you're throwing it out you probably hate the characters.

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 13/04/2019 07:40

Bert obsolete books that really are no use - How To Say Yes Dear So Your Husband Will Feel All Powerful / OU 1821 textbooks can be retiree to the bin.
Damaged books can be sent to book in heaven knowing they were loved.
Deciding the Mr Tickle isn't good e i8gh for your child, 50 Shades is too raunchy or even American Psycho is utter shit just denies that book to someone else who might like it! Poor Mr Tickle just sits there waiting for the book to be open and his story to be told (yes I read too much Jasper Fforde)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 13/04/2019 07:48

For the record I think the book I binned was called baby proofing your marriage. I can heartily recommend avoiding it to everyone.

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 13/04/2019 08:14

Stealth that sounds like it deserves to go in the bin. Now the woman isn't being scripted she can tell him where to shove the advice (sounds like the kind that suggests keeping up with regular sex even if you're tired because he needs to feel loved too) and I'm sure they're all much happier

OP posts:
Ragwort · 13/04/2019 08:18

The charity shop I run can easily sell good books at £2.45 plus each... what we can’t sell is dog eared, torn books, uni text books older than a year or two, Readers Digest etc etc.

A PP suggested we try to sell on line, believe me, but there are millions of books for sale on line. In the end you do just have to throw out the unsaleable ones, and hope at least they are recycled in some way.

We have a very small shop & sometimes you can’t move for books.

Acis · 13/04/2019 08:32

I bin books occasionally, but only if they're either so tatty the no charity shop or jumble sale could possibly want them, or they're something like ancient textbooks that are way out of date so likely to be unsellable.

What would make me sad about this parent's attitude is that her children aren't even being allowed to give the books a try at home. She might hate them, but how can she be sure her children will?

BertrandRussell · 13/04/2019 08:32

None of the charity shops in our town are accepting books at the moment. My friend actually runs a second hand bookshop, but has more stock than she can handle- people get very affronted when she won’t buy the books they bring in!

Acis · 13/04/2019 08:34

I read somewhere about a charity shop that piled up all its copies of The Da Vince Code and Shades of Grey with a sign begging people not to give them any more.

Acis · 13/04/2019 08:35

Da Vinci, not Da Vince. Charity shops might well be grateful for The Da Vince Code, it's probably more readable.

moosesormeece · 13/04/2019 08:37

DH works in a specialist books charity shop and nothing is thrown away - anything they can't sell in the shop or online goes to a company who pay by the kilo. As a result they very very rarely turn down donations and are able to keep the shelves fresh. So if you live near one of these please don't sacrifice your books to the bean juice!