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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Throwing away books...

165 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2019 14:06

Collecting DC from the nursery, parents behind me discussing what they'll come out with.

One says she hopes it isn't a book, she hates it.
The friend asks if she means the weekly reading book and she clarifies no, a gift book (like they had at Christmas)
She goes on to say that she just bins them and other one comments she bags them all away (presumably to chuck or donate)

Kids got a Mr Men book at Christmas so not crap books by any stretch.

I wish i'd said something to her (like, then bloody donate it you silly woman, don't throw a decent book in the bin) but I was just so astounded. Utterly flummoxed as to why you'd resent a free book (and a nice book at that!!) and bin it rather than donate or, you know, USE it!!

AIBU to not understand her ire?

OP posts:
Moominfan · 12/04/2019 20:44

That's so wasteful. I specifically tell people not feel any pressure to buy gifts for mine. But if they would like to, I always recommend I that they gift them books that they loved as a child and teen. Also let people know I'm not precious about second hand either. Books are always welcome gifts in our home

BertrandRussell · 12/04/2019 20:50

I honestly don’t get this. A Jeffrey Archer someone bought at an airport? 15 Animal Arks-all read about 50 times? An out of date Chemistry text book? You keep all of those -WHY???

DarkAtEndOfTunnel · 12/04/2019 20:50

Ex-librarian here, to make you feel better about throwing books away. We do it aaaaaall the time (you get used to the guilt).

Not Mr Men though, or anything by Julia Donaldson - absolute sacrilege - nor anything you're given as a gift. Nor that lovely black-and-white photo book they give out for babies, I still have our copy as a family treasure. Those horrible Treehouse books are some of the few I would really love to throw if I get hold of any...

Tinkoschminko · 12/04/2019 21:47

We used to have boxes in the classroom where kids could just take a free book to keep - mostly ex-library. That was nice.

MiniMum97 · 12/04/2019 21:48

I once spoke to a parent who said they don't read with their child because it's boring and "he'll get enough of that at school". I was really shocked that people thought that and hopefully managed to surprise that and say calmly "my son actually really loves reading, it's very different from school, it's play for him". Not sure if that changed anything. I LOVE reading and thought how sad that her little boy may well hate reading too if he's not introduced to a book until aged 5 and may well be behind others when he stars school so that may put him off. Or his mum telling him reading is boring may put him too. Very sad.

UndertheCedartree · 12/04/2019 21:52

I don't get the idea that books can't be clutter or you can't have too many. Books can become overwhelming if you have too many just like anything else, especially if you don't have the storage for them. More books will not make your children better readers.

I'm a total bookworm and my children regularly see me reading, often on my Kindle. I don't keep many novels only a few favourites - any other hard copies get handed on to friends or charity shops. I regularly cull my non-fiction books too so I have room to update my collection. We regularly use the library to supplement our collection.

My children have many more books than me but we regularly cull theirs too to make room for new books. I've often put a nursery book straight into a charity bag or when read once as I'd rather get rid of a generic 'book people set' picture book than have to lose one of their favourites to make room on the book shelf.

Tinkoschminko · 12/04/2019 21:56

To be fair, a lot of the general ORT scheme books sent home by schools are quite boring. It doesn’t help matters much.

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2019 21:57

Ohh this is a brilliant thread for the middle classes to compete in theit love of books and size of bookcases you know working class people can read too right?? No one has ever confused me for Middle Class

OP posts:
booksareace · 12/04/2019 21:57

At my non-UK school, a streamed class was set up to encourage uptake in the humanities and literature. It recruited at Year 7 and active interest and proficiency in reading were the basic criteria.

What was interesting to note was that the maths and science teachers on the course said how much better at science and maths those students were than those recruited on other accelerated courses, even those with good maths scores.

While it can only be inferred, I wonder if the confidence/proficiency in reading in general made them so much better at the necessary reading for science and the "reading" of mathematics.

trilbydoll · 12/04/2019 21:57

I'm convinced that books multiply when my back is turned, every time we go through them there are loads I have no memory of acquiring.

Kids books go to nursery, they get trashed there so they are happy to have a constant supply of new ones for the kids to wreck. And I'd much rather the books were being used and played with than sitting in my cupboards.

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 12/04/2019 22:02

That's such a lovely thing @Moominfan.

I'd happily have ripped up/burnt those bloody Biff and Chip books and that sodding glowing key!

PodgeBod · 12/04/2019 22:02

Recently cleaning out a relatives home and got into a row with my sister about this. Dozens of new, mostly unread books from Amazon on naval history. She wanted to chuck them in the bin! I said it was an awful waste and took them with me. Which reminds me, must take them to the charity shop ASAP.

brizzlemint · 12/04/2019 22:03

I once threw all of my books in the bin.

echt · 12/04/2019 22:04

Ohh this is a brilliant thread for the middle classes to compete in their love of books and size of bookcases

Hmm How on earth is this a competition? Are people of any class meant to shut up about what they they like? Bit dismissive of working class people, too.

Loopytiles · 12/04/2019 22:17

Biff and chip deserve a fate MUCH worse than bean juice!

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2019 22:17

brizzlemint
Shock

OP posts:
TurquoiseDress · 12/04/2019 22:19

YANBU

I love reading books! granted I dont seem to get much reading done now with 2 young children but as a child I used to get through so many and had so much pleasure from reading

DC1 is in reception and now seems to be getting the reading bug

UndertheCedartree · 12/04/2019 22:22

I think books and reading often become a competition with parents. The only acceptable answer to 'how often do you read to your child?' is 'everday' and god forbid you don't listen to a primary child read everyday. And have shelves and shelves of books!

Krimpy · 12/04/2019 22:23

I don't have space for endless amounts of books (despise reading on a Kindle) so have become quite choosy about those books I do hold on to. I'd always try and pass on any books I thought could still be enjoyed by someone else but have certainly thrown out books that have deserved their recycling bin fate. There are a lot of awful books out there.

PodgeBod you were right to save those books on naval history. Those will definitely find a home with an appreciative charity shop customer.

flyingspaghettimonster · 12/04/2019 22:34

When my son was in a private school for a while they had a book tree in the atrium... it was the size of a real tree and beautoful, and had nooks and crannies all around the trunk for books. The kids could donate books they finished and choose new ones. There was a suggested 25 cent donation. I was impressed, such a cute idea. Makes me sad that just because the parents don't value books the kids are encouraged not too.

StoneofDestiny · 12/04/2019 23:04

National Trust properties always have second hand book sales areas, and welcome them as money goes to the NT.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 12/04/2019 23:20

Our charity shops won't take books for most of the year as say they have too many buy there is a recycling bank close so at least they can be made into new ones.

We only tend to have books now as gifts, any we buy ourselves we download to save on the environmental impact.

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2019 23:32

I love the idea of books being recycled to make new ones and hints of the persomalities seeping into the new characters

OP posts:
TheSandman · 12/04/2019 23:43

It's not just parents.

About two years ago I walked my son up to school (he was in P3 then) and realised the waste bin outside the school was FULL of books. (Not the recycle bin mind you. The Waste bin.) The school's new head had decided that the school's library was too big and just binned 90%. DD number 2 (utterly incensed) and I took the car up and rescued all we could. Some had got wet. Some we kept, most went to charity shop. I have not felt quite the same about the head since.

TheSandman · 12/04/2019 23:48

Ohh this is a brilliant thread for the middle classes to compete in their love of books and size of bookcases

I clean toilets for a living, you arrogant twat. How non-middle class can you get? I own (and this is not an exaggeration) thousands of books.