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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler at Slimming World

81 replies

dreamalittlebiggerdarling · 12/04/2019 11:09

Hi all

Bit of a sensitive situation. At the group I go to there’s a very nice lady who tends to bring her toddler with her. It’s an evening group and I appreciate there may not be any alternatives (although sometimes she comes alone) but it’s becoming more of a problem as he’s getting louder and more mobile. Lots of running around, shouting, throwing things, wandering up to others and grabbing them, playing with the props etc. His mum does try to shush him/walk around with him, bounce him about etc. but the noise makes it hard to hear others and it’s distracting when he’s running around or playing with things.

I’m not sure what to do about this. I don’t want to offend anyone or obstruct the mum’s journey/access or anything but it’s so frustrating to essentially be having group in a crèche. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Would you speak quietly to the leader or not?

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 12/04/2019 11:12

Take it up with the leader, you are paying for a service.

My (evening) group has older children, they are no problem, any day group Ive been to tends to cater for pre-schoolers with play mats etc and its an accepted part of the group

ASAS · 12/04/2019 11:12

I hear you. But I think you might struggle to get the responses you're after. This is a site full of women who vividly remember, if aren't currently knee deep, in the toddler years.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 12/04/2019 11:14

Bloody well annoys me too, I was at a WW meeting last year and two women arrived with about 6 kids and a massive haul of McDonalds, sat the kids down and gave them the food...in a fucking weight loss meeting!

Original poster
dreamalittlebiggerdarling · 12/04/2019 11:14

Ah that’s exactly why I chose here - I need to know if I’m being unreasonable because I’m childfree and really not used to being around young children. If it’s normal then I’ll not embarrass myself by saying anything!

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamalittlebiggerdarling · 12/04/2019 11:15

If someone brought McDs in I’d have them removed on temptation grounds, that’s awful! Cake

OP posts:
Upanddownandroundagain · 12/04/2019 11:17

McDonalds at a weight loss group? The consultant should have said something, I wouldn’t be happy with that at all.

My consultant said to me once that my small children are welcome but that if they’re making a lot of noise to take them into the lobby so people can hear (she said it in a nice way). So really the consultant should be saying something, I’d text her and say that you’re struggling to hear.

Hope your SW weight loss is going well - I’ve lost a stone since January!

Invisimamma · 12/04/2019 11:24

I have two young children myself but I don't take them to SW with me.

Every week at mine there's preschoolers watching loud videos on parents phones. The hall is really echoey and it's very distracting and difficult to hear the consultant. Haven't the heard of headphones!? It infuriates me but the consultant says children are always welcome.

Yanbu.

CalmdownJanet · 12/04/2019 11:25

PutyourtoponTrevor Shock did the leader not say anything?? That's so bad!

I would definitely speak to the leader op, that sounds like a pain. If she has nobody to mind the toddler she should weigh and go and just not stay for class

B3ck89 · 12/04/2019 11:31

I attend weight watchers, when my kids are off school in half terms I get weighed and go. Any other time I have my 16 month old and if he’s in a good mood I stay for the class, but if not I just go home again after weigh in and buying my treats

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 12/04/2019 11:40

I don’t think it’s appropriate to have children at a slimming club! Way to mess up their relationship with food!!
They can do slimming world online if they don’t have childcare.

MargotSimpson · 12/04/2019 11:40

I’ve actually been the parent in this situation. I joined SW but told the consultant I wouldn’t be able to stay to group as I had a 2 year old and no childcare. She emphatically said that I should definitely come to group and bring him with me; everyone in the group loved kids and would help (not that I’d expect or want their help!) So I brought him, he toddled about, walked along the benches (class was in an infant school hall/gym), occasionally tried to play with the SW props and tried to interact with the consultant a few times. Everyone could still hear the consultant but she appeared distracted. The consultant glared at me and made me feel so uncomfortable that I didn’t stay to group again!

Ceebs85 · 12/04/2019 11:41

It's part of you SW leader's role to manage this so get in touch with her. I wouldn't like it either and I've got a toddler and a baby. I've not been to SW since having them even though I'd like to because I know the toddler would be distracting and noisy

MargotSimpson · 12/04/2019 11:42

@calmdownjanet In my case the consultant convinced me to stay to group WITH my toddler. I wonder whether they get a commission or something for the amount of people who stay to group

SileneOliveira · 12/04/2019 11:43

You need to say something.

You are paying for a service you are not receiving - or only receiving in part because of disruption. It's really not appropriate to take a small child to these sorts of meetings and the leader should have pointed that out.

SileneOliveira · 12/04/2019 11:44

I wonder whether they get a commission or something for the amount of people who stay to group

Yes, I would imagine that's exactly how it works. As many bums on seats paying fees as possible.

dronesdroppingzopiclone · 12/04/2019 11:47

I'd say something to the leader. Or find another group.

MadameDD · 12/04/2019 11:48

Never been to one of these meetings but wouldn't think it was appropriate to bring a toddler along - maybe as a one off if their usual childcare had been let down but not on a regular basis as you are paying for a service.

Personally if my local class welcomed kids and I wanted to go, I'd find a class that did not welcome them - not because I don't like kids but I just don't think its a suitable place for them.

Original poster
dreamalittlebiggerdarling · 12/04/2019 11:49

Margot, I do wonder whether my leader has said the same (about everyone loving kids and being happy to help). The mum is quite an established member and a lot of other members do help out with the kid so it's probably true. I really don't want to make a fuss as I don't think mums should automatically have to miss out on group, but it's very difficult when they're so young and understandably don't want to sit still listening to adults chat about quark! Thanks all for your thoughts.

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 12/04/2019 11:50

l used to go to a SW group years ago which was through the day, and was fine except for school holidays. After the session where there were 8 children of varying ages, rampaging round (it was in a pub, and the landlord had to keep asking them to come out from behind the bar!) l moved to another group. lt was bedlam, you couldn't hear a word anyone was saying. At the end of the day, you're paying for a service.
l've been to groups where people have brought little ones (not even old enough to toddle) and they were fine. Kept the baby occupied with a toy, and they were as good as gold.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 12/04/2019 11:51

CalmdownJanet the leader said naff all as the women were part of the 'clique'....which was one of the reasons I left. A few of us complained but we were told that's what happens when meetings fall at evening meal time

DarlingNikita · 12/04/2019 11:51

Tell the leader. And make clear that you will leave the group if the service continues to be sub-standard.

HopefulAgain10 · 12/04/2019 11:54

Yanbu that's incredibly selfish of her. If she has childcare problems then she needs to find another group to work around it. It always amazed me the audacity of some people.
You are paying for a service. I think the best thing would be to speak to the leader. You may find that many others might have brought this up too. I cant imagine absolutely everyone there is pleased.

NoHolidaysforyou · 12/04/2019 12:08

I'm going to go against the grain here.

Yes, it's an annoyance but childcare isn't as plentiful as everyone makes it out to be. I have my toddlers in nursery, but only on days that the nursery can accommodate with appropriate ratios (so I have no control of this). I also have a baby sitter but she also works at a nail salon, so I can't just ask her to come over whenever either. I think a lot of people think parents live in a perfect world with grandparents, nursery, and baby sitters all on standby and it's simply not true.

I think the mother's health (weight loss) is far more important than the annoyance of a few other people who choose to involve themselves in how she should or shouldn't have her child around them. I think people should be a little bit more sympathetic, it's no cake walk for the mother either. I wouldn't want someone to be shamed out of going to a weight loss group because they can't get childcare. Mothers are particularly at risk for gaining weight and staying unhealthy after pregnancy as well. I lost over 7 stone after I had twins and if I had not lost the weight, I would be dead.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/04/2019 12:13

There’s usually one at my group with their mother and grandmother and they take turns in taking her out if required but anew member has joined with a younger baby and both they and the toddler’s family were right behind me last week and I couldn’t hear a thing.

Not sure what I could do about it though, I probably didn’t miss anything earth-shatteringly important.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 12/04/2019 12:16

I think it's one of those situations you'll just have to suck up. Many of the women there will have small children or be wanting to lose weight after having children. I can't imagine the group leader ever banning them. People have been taking young children to weight loss groups for years. The meetings don't go on for that long anyway.