To ask if you’d be offended if your teenagers gf spent ‘too much’ on your teens birthday

[SandraDea]

At my sisters earlier - it’s my nieces bf’s birthday tomorrow and my niece was wrapping presents (he’ll be 15).

My sister seems to have spent too much and my Bil commented that this is not appropriate as it’s probably more than what her bf’s parents could afford. My sister admitted she got carried away but thought it was ok.

She’s got the bf expensive jogging bottoms and a top (£70) plus a few bits and bobs and also a gift voucher for his favourite shop (£20) so in total has spent about £100.

Is my sister being totally unreasonable and probably going to cause offence to the bf’s family?

Friend's 16 year old son got 6 weeks all inclusive in Australia, flights too, as a gift from the parents of his ten years older, and fairly recently acquired, girlfriend. It must have cost oodles for him to be added to this family holiday and he spent nothing, having nothing to spend.

So, you have a friend whose 16 year old son went to Australia for six weeks with his new 26 year old girlfriend and her family?

My mind is absolutely blown.

I’m not sure offended is the right word but I do think it’s very weird for her to spend so much on her child’s boyfriend, no matter how well off he was or wasn’t. It’s intrusive into a teenage relationship and over invested.

Totally OTT my 18 year old DS has an 18 year old girlfriend and I wouldn’t buy her anything, fortunately they are both sensible and agree a budget of around £25 for birthday/Christmas gifts to each other.

Yes, alaskan, about 15 years ago, it still makes me uncomfortable to think about it. Urgh. No, not still together, surprise.

How might your sister feel if the bf breaks up with her dd in say, January, after he receives his Christmas presents?
If the relationship starts to sour a bit in the autumn but doesn’t end what will be the Christmas plan? What if your niece starts to suspect that he is staying with her to get gifts? It’s just messy & inappropriate.

My dd got a fancy handbag for Christmas from her bf. She’s 18 & he’s 17. It’s a lovely bag but she knows his mum paid for it & she suspects she chose it too. It came from matchesfashion which isn’t somewhere her bf is likely to have thought to shop. It takes the gloss off the gift because it’s not really from him.