To ask if you’d be offended if your teenagers gf spent ‘too much’ on your teens birthday

[SandraDea]

At my sisters earlier - it’s my nieces bf’s birthday tomorrow and my niece was wrapping presents (he’ll be 15).

My sister seems to have spent too much and my Bil commented that this is not appropriate as it’s probably more than what her bf’s parents could afford. My sister admitted she got carried away but thought it was ok.

She’s got the bf expensive jogging bottoms and a top (£70) plus a few bits and bobs and also a gift voucher for his favourite shop (£20) so in total has spent about £100.

Is my sister being totally unreasonable and probably going to cause offence to the bf’s family?

It seems excessive.I wonder if your niece and her bf talked about it and decided to see how much they could get in which case I'd expect the bf to be able to manage his own family's reaction.

My niece chose all the gifts, my sister just paid for them.

Is it just me who is missing the point of the thread and finds this to be the really odd bit?

I know the family are on a low income so quite possibly more likely to be offended maybe?

We are not on a low income and I would be a little uncomfortable if my 15 YO's GF spent £100 on their birthday.

I don´t think it would offend them necessarily, but it certainly might make the boy and his parents very uncomfortable.

Way ott especially for a 15 year old! It's not like they've been together a long time and he's part of the family.

I wouldn't be insulted but I'd find it very unusual and assume they had money to burn!

They are both besotted and totally inseparable so yes I think she is just totally loved up.

They have been together 6 months

My sister says she just enjoys spending money and thinks a lot of the bf so wanted to spoil him a bit.

theyre going to make his parents feel very awkward-my family dont even spend that muvch on my husband its a ridiculous amouunt

My sister says she just enjoys spending money and thinks a lot of the bf so wanted to spoil him a bit
Tbh she sounds a bit showy and even slightly boastful. I think it’s a lot of money for to be spent on a teenager and will embarrass the family

I would personally feel pressure to gift something of a similar value. It is excessive imo.

if the family are on low income they have probably had to struggle for gifts so this would be very upsetting and insulting

No I wouldn't be offended. I'd just make sure my son treated her well. Young love. 😬

I think it's ridiculous that you're sister buys the presents.
However I also think the fact that they're low income is irrelevant.
I can't think his family will think anything of it.

6 months is NOTHING. Agree, this will embarrass and possibly offend this poor lad's family.

Totally OTT imho

Too much, if she was paying for them herself then that’s her choice but seems odd that her mum would pay all that money for gifts.

I remember spending a fortune on one of my bf’s, i was a teenager but had a good job, I spent over £100 on him for Christmas which was a lot 20 years ago, I was really pissed off when he bought me a cheap watch as my gift 🤣.

Seems a bit OTT to spend that amount on your dd’s Bf.

Your sis is v over invested. They’re 15!

It’s way too much. His parents are going to either think she’s nuts, she’s a show off or feel really awkward.

I think it’s a lot of pressure on a teen relationship. Switching the sexes, my parents would have made me return that sort of OTT present at that age. Bit too much like being bought.

I’m still not clear if the gifts are from your sister or your niece. I understand your sister paid for them but did she pay for them from your niece.
Too much really. Voucher would’ve been plenty.

The young lad might love the pressies but I bet his parents would be put out that his girlfriends parents who’ve known him 5mins are probably spending as much or possibly more than them, it could appear as though she’s trying to buy his affection.

It seems a bit rotten for her to spend that much on a child especially when she knows it will embarrass his parents and make them feel awful when her daughter's birthday comes round. It also teaches her daughter nothing about how you live within your means and work for things or that presents are not all about how much you spend on them. All in all she's been pretty low.

Ouch - that's an awful lot of money to spend on a 15 year olds birthday present. My eldest daughter's boyfriend- she doesn't refer to him as that but I can't think what else to type was 14 today. They went to the pictures yesterday - she paid him in and bought him a KFC .

I’m with those who say awkwardnand embarrassed rather than offended.
If the family are on a low income they may not have spent that amount on the lad

Posted too soon!

Your sister has said she enjoyed spending the money, so she’s made it all about her rather than considering how it will make the recipient feel

There is also a chance that his parents won't have spent that much on him, in which case, it might make them feel really bad that about.

If I were you, I would try to talk to your sister about rethinking the presents.

15? Madness.

I’ve spoken to my sister and she agrees she has spent too much and it could possibly be awkward for bf’s family.

She’s taken some items out the present bag.

Problem is my niece is now throwing a massive tantrum saying she wants to give him all the gifts and he’s ‘worth it’!

You really need to have a word with her. They’re two very young teenagers, you need to try to persuade her that this is a really bad move. They’re young kids, they should be spending pocket money amounts, nit hundreds. That’s FAR too much pressure on him/his family to reciprocate on her DD’s birthday. Around £20 is fine in my opinion. They’re not even 15 yet.